that this report card comment can be misconstrued

You’re quite right. Sorry that was a failure to RTFT.

A teacher should rightly be concerned and critical about a 12 year old regularly falling asleep in school. It’s not normal.

OP, I’d also find it hard not to take it as a criticism, especially with the knowledge that it could be used against me by an ex.

However, one thing that struck me is that good nutrition and sleep are part of ‘self-care’. Perhaps the teacher has noticed that your daughter seems sad (divorce-related or not - who knows, and not your fault anyway), and this is her shorthand for ‘you’ll need to make sure you help her keep on top of her mental health, as school will get harder next year’.

This is so passive. Stop letting her stay up to midnight!

Sometimes it is this. Teachers will give advice to a child again and again but if they don't take it they will try a different way.

Homework - should be completed as soon as gets home, no 'fun' things until it's done. Then can unwind and hopefully sleep better. We had similar challenge with late nights and set this boundary of homework first. Yes thete was loads of moaning but once it was established it's been so much better.

Could she take a packed lunch so can monitor what is eating

They’re addressing your concerns in the report to show they have listened, remembered, know your child. They may also think it’ll help if your daughter reads that school care about her well-being and she may subsequently make some sleep and nutrition changes as suggested by someone that’s not mum.

Also, if she’s underperforming in exam years, they’ve got a paper trail that they raised sleep as a risk factor at the earliest opportunity.

I can’t imagine she’s the only KS3 pupil with this on her reports due to phones/screens/gaming 😢

Why haven’t you put parental controls on whatever device she is using so it stops working after a certain time? Informing the school she has slept late is being nonchalant about it to me.

At 12 years old she shouldn't have access to any devices connected to the Internet through the night. At all.

Her phone/laptop should be left downstairs when she goes up at bed time.

I can’t understand why this is a problem if she as you say was on internet until dusabled? Or are you more worried what your ex will think?

^This is insane 😆 Do you know what an average secondary school is like? I can assure you that a 12 y o kid who’s yawning in class is not^ going to be “the topic of conversation” in the staff room 🤣

I had some really boring teachers but the only person who actually fell asleep in class had narcolepsy

I think you’re over interpreting this and being very over sensitive - understandable because of the divorce you’re going through - but 12 year olds should be taking responsibility for their own sleep and nutrition a bit more. It’s directed at your DD, not you as a parent; and it sounds like a perfectly reasonable, even neutral, comment from a teacher who is being fair (what 12 y o doesn’t need more sleep and better nutrition? I can say this as I have a 13 y o DD!)

It also sounds like the kind of thing the teacher had probably put on most other report forms as well. It could have been put on my report aged 12 and it would have been fair. (TBH it could be put on my work appraisal form now and I’d agree it was fair enough!)

Don’t overthink it. Odds are that half the kids in the class got that comment. Or your DD looks tired and the teacher once saw her rings packet of crisps. Who knows. See if DD can go to bed a bit earlier and don’t think any more of it. Sorry you’re having a bad time, OP. 💐

How is she getting junk food at school? If she's using her lunch money to buy cookies instead of meals then just send her with a packed lunch and don't put money on the school account

TBH if I was you ex, I’d be using this against you. Parent your child ffs

What time does the school ask DD to be off the internet by?

I’m afraid it does suggest you are t feeding her well or managing her sleep. I can’t really see any other way to interpret it - and if she’s falling asleep …

You say you know she needs to be asleep by 9.30, but you're waiting until 11 or 12 before you step in and do anything. Why?

And you don't know what she's doing online. That's a huge problem.

It seems to me that you are neglecting your child. It’s insane that you let her have a device until midnight. Of course she won’t get to sleep easily after staring at a screen for hours. Then to let her sleep in and be late for school - how will she ever establish a normal
sleep pattern if you keep doing this?
The food is within your control as I assume you are providing the money for her to buy junk.
You seem to be more worried about what your husband thinks than the welfare of your child.

Whaaaat? You're letting her sleep in if she has a late night? How is she ever going to break the pattern?

I have three children. We've all had the occasional late night, but none of them have ever fallen asleep in school, except when my oldest son has sleep apnea. Maybe you need to speak to her doctor.

How much homework are they giving a 12-year-old that she can't get it done before bedtime?

If she's buying crap at school, can you stop providing lunch money and send her with a healthy lunch instead?

It's difficult to get these things right as a school. In our reception year, a teacher received a tongue lashing from a parent after the nurse visit resulted in parent being told the child was overweight at 4.
12 years later the child is the size of me amd the mom combined and she'll still not have anyone tell her anything about it. Nope, no physical illness- just a shockingly poor diet and as sugar does, it encourages over consumption.

I say that to say, if there's any basis ro what is written, speak ro school and let them see you at least trying to implement changes.

This!

Wtf is your 12yr old doing up at midnight on the internet? Yes your exH will likely pull up on that because it's absolutely unacceptable and you're allowing it.

You're literally telling the school to expect your kid to fall asleep in class because you let her go to bed in the early hours of the morning. Do you know how abnormal that is? Over my 3DC I can count on one hand how many times I've had to tell the teacher they've had a bad night's sleep and that's for all 3 of them. None have ever fallen asleep in class. I don't know of any child that has, and certainly not a 12yr old.

Does she get breakfast when she has to be dragged out of bed last minute and rushed to school because she's only had 5hrs sleep?

Parent your child fgs.

I don't think you mentioned whether your DD is at Primary or Secondary school?

If Secondary, I'm surprised the teachers know what she's eating. They're not usually around the dinner hall, and there would be way too many pupils for them to notice the details.

Do you take DD’s phone at a certain time ? Don’t forget that she can use data or watch movies that she downloaded before you turn off the wifi

Possible she is showing up in the morning with an energy drink and some sweets? Or that she has mentions to the teacher that she is eating sweets etc rather than lunch.