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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask where I can move that won't have depressing random nutcases and law-exempt criminal youth around every corner

273 replies

Fragmentedbrain · 26/06/2025 17:29

I know it's nice to have a social safety net and I want that but we don't have it now it's just unfunded chaos and the press moaning about public sector workers.

So, Switzerland? Singapore? Where is feasible (in my forties so recognise that I'd need to make a damn good case for myself). Somewhere boring and hardworking with rules and clean streets and a health service you can access and no toleration for the stuff that's everywhere in the UK now.

I am prepared for the answer to be hard cheese you left it too late and now just need to stay indoors as much as poss until the sweet release of death.

OP posts:
Pigtailsandall · 27/06/2025 17:51

Simonjt · 27/06/2025 17:47

No, the definition of rape is different in sweden, which means its easier to gain a successful conviction. In Sweden similar sexual offences are also rape, rather than ‘just’ sexual assault. The change also led to the rate of conviction increasing by 75%, the actual conviction rate is still low, but much higher than many other countries. Reports are higher here too, as they are in many places where sex ed is introduced early on and not seen as dirty or taboo.

Exactly. This is what irks me about people's understanding of stats. If you get raped in Sweden, it's likely to lead to conviction. In the UK, only a fraction of assaults even get reported, let alone convicted

dynamiccactus · 27/06/2025 17:50

Figcherry · 26/06/2025 21:16

John Nettles was very annoyed after 10 years of working on the Bergerac series he applied to live permanently in Jersey and got turned down.

I didn't know that, I'm not surprised he was miffed!

Simonjt · 27/06/2025 17:47

peanutbuttertoasty · 27/06/2025 17:33

Isn’t Sweden now the rape capital of Europe? Or perhaps Stockholm or Malmo specifically. It’s no utopia and has all the same problems as other western countries these days

No, the definition of rape is different in sweden, which means its easier to gain a successful conviction. In Sweden similar sexual offences are also rape, rather than ‘just’ sexual assault. The change also led to the rate of conviction increasing by 75%, the actual conviction rate is still low, but much higher than many other countries. Reports are higher here too, as they are in many places where sex ed is introduced early on and not seen as dirty or taboo.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:47

Swssa · 27/06/2025 17:46

Whenever I go there I genuinely don't feel like I'm in the UK.

why though? That’s so weird to me.

Swssa · 27/06/2025 17:46

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:26

I love it. Second time I’ve chosen to stay there recently. What upsets you, exactly? The fab market? The great street art? The good transport links? The friendly feel?

Whenever I go there I genuinely don't feel like I'm in the UK.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:45

Ddakji · 27/06/2025 17:32

So? I wasn’t replying to you for a start, and just because you were fine doesn’t mean others are all of the time.
I live here. You don’t.

My point was it’s not the same everywhere…
Why so angry?

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:44

Fairyliz · 27/06/2025 17:27

Yes, that’s terrible.
But not likely.

Crikeyalmighty · 27/06/2025 17:43

@BobbieTables mysoginistic too - I like Japan, but certainly in my opinion men are king

Swssa · 27/06/2025 17:43

Fairyliz · 27/06/2025 17:27

And in the UK there's no practical way to defend yourself. Like if someone pulls a weapon out you're stuffed basically. If it's just fisticuffs you have a chance (I do kickboxing).

If anyone on MN ever argues for some form of pepper spray the response is "oh well it can just be used against you".

peanutbuttertoasty · 27/06/2025 17:39

Crushed23 · 26/06/2025 21:34

One thing I wouldn’t go back to is the consumerism of the late 90s/early 2000s. I was just a child but I remember how much STUFF people owned and how it was something to aspire to. And this was at a time when stuff was so expensive - £12 for one album vs £10/month unlimited music on Spotify, the cost of electrical goods and furniture was outrageous, etc. Granted everything else was cheaper so there was more money for stuff, but still, I’m so glad we’ve embraced minimalism and can spend more time and money on experiences. Surely that’s one advantage of living in 2025, OP?!

You’re kidding right? Shein, temu, Amazon ring any bells? Stuff was made well then and lasted at least

peanutbuttertoasty · 27/06/2025 17:37

Dontlletmedownbruce · 27/06/2025 16:37

You are being ridiculous OP. Looking for Utopia. Move to another part of UK if there's trouble where you live. I find it hard to believe everywhere has the same problems.

I live in a suburban area in Ireland where there is never any trouble. Honest to God, life is peaceful and everyone is nice. I've never been so lucky as to get free health care though, it sounds like you are taking this privilege for granted.

You know healthcare is not free, right? Unless you don’t pay any taxes…?

peanutbuttertoasty · 27/06/2025 17:33

Ontheedgeofit · 26/06/2025 19:47

Stockholm is one of the grimiest cities I’ve ever been to. The drug scene was terrible. And that’s saying a lot. I come from South Africa.

Isn’t Sweden now the rape capital of Europe? Or perhaps Stockholm or Malmo specifically. It’s no utopia and has all the same problems as other western countries these days

Ddakji · 27/06/2025 17:32

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:07

I go out in the evening when I’m in London. Most recently I was staying in Whitechapel. Felt fine to me

So? I wasn’t replying to you for a start, and just because you were fine doesn’t mean others are all of the time.
I live here. You don’t.

Fairyliz · 27/06/2025 17:27

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:22

Well who does? Not very likely in most of the U.K. though. Certainly not more likely than most other countries. Particularly the decapitation.

Happened in London last year.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvg977nkl9xo.amp

Daniel Anjorin, a teenager with short dark hair and wearing a school uniform with a blue striped tie sits on a train

Hainault sword attacker jailed for life for murdering schoolboy - BBC News

Daniel Anjorin had "a generous spirit that touched everyone who knew him" his family said.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvg977nkl9xo.amp

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:26

Swssa · 27/06/2025 17:11

I find Whitechapel just miserable and upsetting to be in

I love it. Second time I’ve chosen to stay there recently. What upsets you, exactly? The fab market? The great street art? The good transport links? The friendly feel?

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:25

Swssa · 27/06/2025 17:03

The working class should do some "work" and get better paying jobs. Educate yourself, up skill yourself, learn some skills and get a better paying job. After this look to invest spare income and build your capital.

Eh?
Can’t tell if this is supposed to be funny.
The country would be fucked without people doing the low skilled jobs (that phrase itself winds me up as those jobs often require lots of skills). Remember the pandemic at all? Who did we rely on day to day? Many of them were your ‘low skilled’ jobs.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:22

Fairyliz · 27/06/2025 16:57

I’m assuming it’s because the op doesn’t want to be mugged, raped or be decapitated by some drug addled crazy. Just a quess obviously.

Well who does? Not very likely in most of the U.K. though. Certainly not more likely than most other countries. Particularly the decapitation.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:20

Platinumfortune · 27/06/2025 16:53

Where in the UK fo you live?

On the edge of Cardiff.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:20

Needmorelego · 27/06/2025 16:52

No litter 😱
That sounds like a dream.
London is such a mess 😂

I’m just back from London. Is there litter? Of course, and I’m sure more than some places. I wouldn’t have categorised it ‘as mess’ though. Didn’t impact my enjoyment.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:18

UK2HK · 27/06/2025 16:39

Hong Kong

so safe you can walk around at 3am and nothing happens.

You can do that most places to be honest. Yes, cities have some dodgy areas, but avoid those and you are fine. You would probably be fine in most of them too, as crime tends to be community based in those places.

Y2ker · 27/06/2025 17:12

The behaviour of kids has definitely got worse. And adults to be fair. I actually think social media has given certain people this feeling that they are centre of the universe and they behave like that wherever they go. The kids I volunteer with struggle to muster a please or thank you.

I'd say move to a smaller town with a low crime rate but even in such places you could find yourself like me -living next door to an absolute twonk who has spent so many years killing off the few brain cells he had with strong skunk that he's not just a waste of space but is actively hateful to everyone around him including his own mother.

Swssa · 27/06/2025 17:11

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:07

I go out in the evening when I’m in London. Most recently I was staying in Whitechapel. Felt fine to me

I find Whitechapel just miserable and upsetting to be in

BobbieTables · 27/06/2025 17:11

Japanese culture is very polite, law abiding and rule following if that's what you're looking for. They can be quite xenophobic though.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:10

EmeraldRoulette · 27/06/2025 15:42

I've realised that a lot of people who think certain places are fine are actually not going out in the evening. A lot of places really "turn" in the evening.

also a different perspective from people who drive or always take cabs.

Edited

I go out in the evening. Both at home and when I’m visiting somewhere new. Why wouldn’t I? I don’t recognise this ‘turn’ you refer to.

cardibach · 27/06/2025 17:08

Dappy777 · 27/06/2025 14:08

Iceland? Northern Canada? New Zealand?

I get what you mean. The UK has become a deeply unpleasant place to live. For a start there are just too many people crammed onto this little island. I'm in Colchester. I never liked the place much, but in the last ten years it has really gone downhill. The traffic is horrendous, and I'm constantly woken at night by the screeching of souped up cars with noisy exhausts. The police do nothing about it, needless to say (they never do anything about anti-social behaviour). My local woods have been hacked down to build a giant new estate, and now the fields in the centre of the village are going to be built on as well. A lady I sometimes meet when I'm out walking my dog told me she no longer goes into town because she doesn't feel safe.

We have a benefit system that encourages the worst people to have lots of kids, who of course they then raise to be violent, ignorant and anti-social like themselves. And we seem to have virtually open borders. The politicians have made it perfectly clear they are not going to do anything about mass immigration. Everywhere I look I see groups of young immigrant men wandering around in the middle of the day – many of them, I suspect, here illegally. I'd say at least half the people who've moved onto the estates being built around me were not born in the UK. It isn't just Colchester. I had to work in Stevenage last year. I stayed in the Holiday Inn in the centre of town and hated it so much I was nearly suicidal by the end of the week.

If I was young, and didn't have an elderly father to care for, I'd be on the first plane out of here. Yes, I know other countries have their problems, but at least somewhere like Australia you have space. You can move around. If you have horrible people near you, you can escape. In the UK, we're all squeezed into rabbit hutch new builds that are then jammed on top of one another. And even if you save up to buy your own home, all new estates have to include social housing. So you only need one 'problem family' to move on the estate and they'll ruin everything.

Plenty of space in the U.K. Go to West Wales, or the Highlands of Scotland just for a kick off. I don’t recognise the U.K. from your post (and I live on the edge of Cardiff, for reference, so not a rural idyll)