WYB miffed? Dd in hospital and dh fucked off to Glastonbury?

Very much agree with this. The threat response - this poster might be well advised to avoid a forum that they find to be an ‘echo chamber’ but, like many who are threatened by ideas which don’t fit their particular (in this case sexist) worldview, they’re drawn back helplessly like a bee to nectar. They either haven’t read the OP’s multiple posts giving context about her other’s half’s much broader selfishness (this doesn’t just sound like a well-deserved break taken by an otherwise good husband or father) or they have and are ignoring that information because it doesn’t suit their view. Like the OP has just implied, though, they’re not gaining any traction here and nor are they likely to, so I think we can safely let them keep banging a drum that nobody’s listening to.

if he didn’t have to support his family,

Perhaps he should have stayed single then?

He's much more likely to be a psychopath than autistic. I'm not sure why you keep going to autism when several people have told you no they are myths and not actual traits of autistic people.

Saw this moments after reading this post…

Please stop responding to the disingenuous poster everyone. Its clear they aren't reading the updates and are on the wind up. Trying to converse with someone who isn't acting in good faith is beneath us, especially on a thread that includes an unwell child.

There's been studies showing the crap parenting from dad can impact EDs in girls I'd get rid of him - your daughter deserves a million times better

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Good one.

These comments are so disingenuous

When I was in hospital for 3 weeks, my DF left work early every day, so that he could get home from central London in time to pick my mother up and drive 12 miles to a different part of London to visit me. They visited every single day.

I was 27 at the time, but they still came every day.

When my brother broke his arm and had to have an operation, DF flew home from Germany, where he was working, to see him.

It never occurred to me that this wasn't normal.

Have you even read what the OP has written? He really doesn't seem the type to be making sacrifices or even barely contributing to family life so I've no idea where this hero dad has come from. He is more than happy to leave his family at a very difficult time to go on a jolly which he has clearly lied about and now expects everyone to revel in how cool he is! I think you might need to give your head a wobble.

Oh my god @PatriarchyRuinedMyPesto take a hint from your own username and stop being boring and pick me (look it up) won't you.

OP, you say - He always thinks everything will be ok. He’s not the one who’s been liasing with dr’s, nurses, therapists and taking her to meetings

Remember that things will be OK. But not bevasue of anything he's done, quite the opposite. Everything to him is always OK because you're there to manage it and fix it. Must be lovely to be him to be fair. Imagine how it would feel to be able to just hang up all your responsibilities on a peg and bugger off for a whole weekend during this.

You did the right thing messaging the family chat. Your kids, and you, sound very switched onto him. I'd place bets that the older DC have got their own WhatsApp group and are secretly happy that you're finally seeing the light.

Have you heard from him since?

Wow what behaviours is your husband modelling for your son....

And which lucky woman is going to be the beneficiary of your sons behaviours. And it goes on....

Lol!! You're just trolling us now! I'm sure OP is hoping that he meets someone at Glastonbury as a pain-free way to get rid of him.

You have been told by me and other posters that OP has said that he doesn't really get involved with the care of their daughter, doesn't spend time with her in hospital and doesn't really take her ED seriously. He refused to pick OP up from hospital after she had a general anaesthetic so wasn't allowed to drive. He is not a nice man.

Your unqualified support for this loser and utterly shit father is laughable and you are just making yourself look like a twat.

Lots of people work incredibly stressful jobs but that doesn’t stop them from checking in on their wife whilst their sick child is in hospital. It doesn’t excuse them from their parental responsibilities. It doesn’t prohibit them from making sure all other children under their roof are safe.

We might be getting one side of the story but at the end of the day, this man has disappeared for a long weekend and is posting about having a great time whilst his family struggles at home.

Also if you re- read a lot of ops posts you can see it is her to deals with the overall’burden’ of the illness etc.

Rather foolish of him to have four children over the space of a decade then. I assume OP wasn’t cutting holes in the condoms.

Yes outside this extreme echo chamber most people think like this, and always have done

Far from ruining your pesto, patriarchy seems to be serving you very nicely. A female-centred forum shouldn't make you feel this threatened, but it's a very common reaction.

You have one side and one side only.You don’t know if the OP works, who takes the burden re stress overall or the finer details of the marriage. We don’t even know the exactconversation only the confusing language the op used.

This is why MN is not a good place to become judge, jury and marriage therapist.

Jesus Christ! People don't actually think like this do they?

You can’t underestimate the sacrifice that this poor man is making, by allowing two of his four children to live under the same roof as him.

It really is amazingly generous of him to give up at least two bedrooms for his offspring, when I’m sure he would prefer to use them for something else. You can’t then expect him to care about them as well!

@SunD0wn lots of your points are very valid and your experience with ED is helpful however, this is op’s marriage.
I think you’re massively missing the point . You’re defending a man you’ve never met. You’ve been dismissive of one night as you’re thinking of your own experience of Ed, not op’s.

We don’t know what job the husband does but what we’ve been told so far by op is that the husband isn’t supportive, he’s not doing anything to help anyone . He’s disappeared for a long weekend without actually phoning and seeing how everyone is, but most importantly how his unwell child is. He didn’t even bother to check his wife and unwell child would be home to be there with the second child that he’s just left in his room! Yes he’s a teenager but surely you’d make sure someone was going to be about for him!

Yes everyone is entitled to a break, life sadly does go on when there’s and illness in the family but at what point does a responsible parent realise that they need to do more as it sounds like op’s husband is barely doing anything.

Long story short, dd 12 has been in and out of hospital the last couple of weeks having to have her obs done as a result of an ED that has really accelerated in the last few weeks. It has been extremely stressful and is obviously upsetting. She’s under camhs and they took her readings last week resulting in me having to take her to A&E. She then had a ward review yesterday and her readings were so low they kept her in overnight. I stayed with her.

She was kept in overnight after being in and out of hospital for two weeks. She is clearly very unwell. No decent parent leaves the other parent dealing with this situation alone unless it is absolutely necessary.

FFS most people have jobs and lots of them are stressful. We even don't know whether he is the sole breadwinner or not.