WYB miffed? Dd in hospital and dh fucked off to Glastonbury?

Yes he is a selfish arse. I'm holding on for the update from him that "you said he could go"

This!

Surely the days of bunking in under/over the are long gone? This is not the real 90s!

He shouldn't have even considered it, let alone asked. The asking was the problem even before the going. He's totally lacking decency and empathy. Does he not care your your DD at all?!?!? He's not once checked in on her!!!

@Mintsj there's no such thing as a typical autistic person. I'm autistic, I love festivals. Sensory seeking, and music being a special interest.

The issue isn't whether or not he may or may not be autistic. The issue is he's an arsehole who is aware his daughter is seriously ill and decided to fuck off all responsibilities to her and his family.

I'm so sorry. That's so hard. I really hope your daughter will be well.

I’d say a typical autistic person would rather eat a turd than go to a festival. Sensory overload, people everywhere. My ds is autistic and he wouldn’t go even if he was paid.

When he gets back book yourself into a hotel for the same number of days. He can look after your dd. You need time off to have some quiet time to recover. You are doing intensive caring and you’ll need a break.

How is it that simple? Do you think OP can time travel and change the fact that she is married to him and has an ill child with him?

@Hopetheportaloosareminging

A quick google says that vehicles parked in the car park cant be slept in. So if he is a work van or similar, he will still need a tent.

If he is in a campervan he would need a seperate ticket, which are limited, to get admission to that area. They are usually released shortly after festival tickets and sell out very very quickly.

I am not posting this to pour salt in the wound, but as information to help you expose his utter bullcrap.

There are mums who do this too, lots of nursery/teacher friends talk about mums going off on holidays etc when their children are ill/upset due to divorce etc. Never heard of one going off to Glastonbury without a ticket yet, though. No more acceptable either way.
When you talked about his ASD last year, did he get any treatment/support? A lot of adults are now being diagnosed with AuDHD and the right support can make a massive difference to them and their families. Is your son also getting support, partuclarly if he's home alone when you're at the hospital? And are you getting support, from parents/in-laws etc? You need looked after too.

You must be beside yourself about your DD. I hope she makes positive progress soon. What a terribly worrying time for you. I hope you are okay.
Regarding your DH, I think what he’s done is unforgivable. Where are his priorities supporting you while you support DD?

You've not got a foggy clue about eating disorders have you?

It's hard enough to get a child or teenager or even adult to agree to be seen, much of the time it's against their wishes, it's even harder to get them placed on some sort of section or hold because they're often deemed to have capacity in order to make autonomous choices to self discharge or decline help until their bodies are at crisis point.

Their muscles atrophy, their organs slowly stop working, their bodies don't get enough minerals and they start to feel weak and dizzy, it affects the sinus rhythm of the heart, they can absolutely be in the danger zone for a long time, but they can also be in it for a short time too.

There's also a postcode lottery for support you're offered with a limited number of specialist beds in rehabilitation facilities where if you weigh over lbs or ozs of their arbitrary figure you're not considered a priority while you're wasting away in some general ward in a general district hospital, unable to get to the bathroom without the risk of falling or collapsing, where even a few steps can cause so much stress on your frail little body, and every time you pass a mirror you hate the person you see, and there are mirrors everywhere in these hospitals, which pushes back any desire for recovery you had because these facilities are not purpose built for the recovery of eating disorders, while the food you're served is disgustingly unappealing, scary and traumatic to face eating while you have doctors breathing down your neck like harbingers of doom.

If you haven't got a clue about how frightened the OP is about her daughters recovery, don't make such stupid assumptions that a few days getting pissed or high at a festival will be absolutely fan-diddly-tastic for her husband and it'll all be a-ok, or tell her to take some breathing space when all she will want to do right now is breathe the air her child is breathing.

What an arsehole.

He sounds like a nightmare.

The OP herself said that he often invents/embellishes stories to make himself look exciting and crazy (her words) and that she wouldnt be surprised if he did have a ticket.

that would be so awful!! If he’s actually lied about all of it being on a whim. Absolute douchebag he is. I used to get into Glastonbury for free as a teenager, but no way I would risk it now. Also not keen to go anyway!

Is he worried about your DD?

Yes because he bought a ticket.

He created this "oh look at me going off on a whim" narrative to look cool and edgy. I would bet my fucking house that he had a ticket.

No one can "sneak" into Glasto anymore, why do you think that the volunteer list is longer than the ticket application list these days?!

Does he have form for embellishing stories to make them sound more grand?

Because being a pathological liar once again isn't part of the autism diagnostic criteria, but it does mean he is cementing his status as a self fellating toss pot.

If I had no money to lose, such as being confident I could get in without a ticket, then I'd probably also not feel anywhere near as bad about fucking Glastonbury off for my critically sick child than if I had spent the money and hid it from my wife, because then I might feel like I actually have something to lose.

But the difference between your husband and the rest of us that even if the money had been spent we'd a. Not lie about it and b. See it as collateral damage to a much more important and pressing matter like a seriously sick child. There would be no question about it.

Please don't assume a diagnosis, just look at the patterns of behaviour he has displayed and realise how much of the shit end of the stick he is giving you and your children.

Op said he has got in on the family WhatsApp

I separated from someone just like this. Years of learning to not ask for help because he'd just say no, years of him doing selfish shit because I hadn't explicitly said not to, years of him expecting me to do all the thinking. It has been fucking liberating not having to deal with that daily any more. The kids are still getting used to it all, but overall I think things are better now. DS1 certainly seems to have realised his father is a bit of a dick; DS2 (autistic) is taking a bit longer.

I hope your DD is ok OP ❤️

Hang on......he is sleeping in a van? So a motor vehicle is his accomodation.....which you need special booking for and cannot, to my knowledge, be slung into a jeans pocket and snuck into a festival.

Based on this alone surely his entire story is utter bullshit.

And thats why he fucked off without a word. Because if he genuinely didnt think that there was a problem he would have either waited until you were home before going, or called/messaged. He knew what he was doing was wrong on every single level. The lies, the neglect of DD, the lack of support to you, the fact that he didnt even tell his own 16 yr old son he was going away for the weekend when you could conceivably be at the hospital 24/7.

He is expecting it all to be forgiven and forgotten by the time he gets back because he is so happy, so why wouldnt you be happy for him?!

The only neurodivergence has is that he is a narccisist.

I'm slightly unsure how he plans to get in...you've not been able to break in since around 1999.

Ermmmm really really no. Eating Disorders are truly serious illnesses.