WYB miffed? Dd in hospital and dh fucked off to Glastonbury?

I would "accidentally on purpose " put something on the family WhatsApp in a way that makes it obvious you have posted on the wrong chat that let's everyone know that he's a selfish knob and who in their right mind leaves a seriously ill child behind.
Wait until all the family have read it then say "oops , wrong chat sorry that was meant to be for Bellend ".

I don't agree at all with the posts saying that it is the OP's fault for 'telling him he could go'. The tone of some of these is really unpleasant towards someone who has a very sick DD to worry about.

I don't think her posts read at all as if she was giving him permission to go...at most the OP's response may have been slightly awkwardly worded, understandable given she was preoccupied with her DD. Her posts read as if she is already inured to her 'D'H's behaviour and has learned from experience to set the bar very low for him (his latest behaviour being just a new low). Even stating she is 'miffed' in the thread title is revealing; rather than a word like 'livid' or 'heartbroken'?

And all men are not like this btw. When my son was taken ill in hospital my DH rushed there and never left his side. He cancelled a planned night out with friends straightaway and without feeling the need to consult with me first. That is the norm for how all parents (fathers as well as mothers) behave in a crisis surely? Does the OP's 'D'H really need to be told how to care for his own DD?

Your husband is an absolute twat. I could understand it a little better if he actually had a ticket and had been looking forward to it for ages, but just rocking up on the off chance when his daughter is in hospital and he has another child at home is just a complete abdication of his family responsibilities.

I'd also want to know how much family money he spent on buying a last minute ticket from a tout.

I would send him a direct message, not on the family chat, saying considering his daughter is going through a really hard time he might want to hold off on posting pics of his jolly right now. Stupid, selfish man.

This, it’s nigh on impossible now to get into Glastonbury.

I can’t imagine leaving my child when they’re so ill, and everyone is exhausted from a hospital stay.

also the op didn’t tell him to go, she let him make the choice, there’s a huge difference. He always had agency and made a very poor and incredibly selfish choice.

OP I've only read your posts but just want to say i'm sorry he's such a twat. I'm sort of gobsmaced not just by the selfishness, but the total lack of comms. I'm trying to imagine a situation where even if DH had tickets to an event like this and we didn't have a sick child, he would leave without sending me a messaging say, "I'm off now - have a great weekend". etc. I mean, we'r enot obsessive texters, but that sort of basic update is normal surely? x1000 when a) he didn't have a ticket b) he has a sick child c) it hadn't been definitvely decided he was going.

I honestly think that if you came close to leaving him before, perhaps it's time to realise you tried really hard but it's not going to work. Your story about the hospital is familiar too - did you post that at the time?

Exactly this. Usually no stress until kids come along and then you realuse you made the wrong choice and your options are extremely limited.

Post a “Meanwhile, in real life …” message. You can be autistic and a vile self-centred individual, it is not an excuse. Hope you have some support and cna find a way put of this situation.

Yes, absolutely everything is the OPs fault. 🙄

He is a twat and you shouldn't have said he could go if he wants. That's on him though. I could never be married to someone like that. He is idk inducing

Who got the money?

I know two people who got in yesterday without tickets, who feel they have scored a major victory. There are ways of getting in but they aren’t free - they each paid £200 for the pleasure. Both over 60, aren’t we mad, types.
He is a disgrace. He knows it’s wrong but he doesn’t care about OP or his own children.
I love music but, to be quite frank, there isn’t much on this year of note. Unless he’s a die hard Rod Stewart fan? Can just imagine him now waiting for The Prodigy to come on….
If you stay with this man, you are living half a life.

What a selfish manchild he is.

I’d get your DD stable and then start planning to leave.

I am convinced he had a ticket already, didn’t want to waste c£400.

I don't want to make you feel worse than you are already, but I think you need to consider how your daughter's ED is affected by family dynamics. If your husband behaves like this when his daughter is seriously unwell, you can be absolutely certain that your daughter knows that her father is not there for her in a way a father should be. Children know.

And this is connected to her ED, or at the very least has an impact on it.

Oh FFS with the male apologists on this thread.

It's funny how these poor clueless men (autistic or not) who apparently need their wives to tell them what good parenting looks like never seem to ask, "Is it OK if I skip football training this weekend to spend time with you and the kids?"

The fact that these men only ever ask their wives and partners for permission when it relates to them wanting to do something that is self evidently selfish, shows that that they are fully aware of just how badly they are behaving. Their only care is for themselves, and their only motivation for asking is to absolve themselves of their guilt.

I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with all of this OP. I really hope your DD is ok. Like so many others who have posted already, I am furious on your behalf, there really is no excuse for him going to Glasto and to have the gall to send messages and selfies not even asking about your DD is quite frankly disgusting selfish behaviour.

I think this would be it for me, I cannot fathom how a father can behave like this (although I shouldn’t be suprised as there sadly many threads about useless dads and husbands).

Sending you strength to get through this x

Is he wearing a wristband in the pic? If so, he had a ticket.

@Hopetheportaloosareminging I’ve never wanted to slap someone so muvh

There’s bound to be some MNetters at Glasto who would be happy to track him down and slap him on your behalf!

When you've lived with someone like the OP's husband you learn that it doesn't really matter what you say because it will always be twisted to favour him. If he goes, it's her fault for 'giving him permission', if he doesn't go, she's a controlling nag denying him any enjoyment. People like him are arch manipulators who always plan to do what they want, regardless of their responsibilities.

I suspect he's had a ticket for a long time but has hidden the purchase so it can't be traced.

@Hopetheportaloosareminging

Holy fucking Christ, what a colossal bellend- I'd have to leave him. I just couldn't ever get past that. And don't play it down to your kids - why should you protect him? You're carrying everything & everyone while he's merrily fucked off to play with his mates like a pathetic child - with no thought whatsoever about his family! Ick beyond words.

I'm so sorry about the stress and worry about your daughter, it sounds horrendous for you.

But you said "yes go if you want ". To someone who you know takes things literally and probably isn't always sure what the socially normal course of action is.

In your husband's case I too would have read that as, ok, I can go to Glastonbury.

Next time, if he says "I can't go now can i" say "no".

Seriously he must have had a ticket in advance. They are like golddust. You can’t just turn up at the site and blag one. Or maybe his old friend had a friend who couldn’t go.

Also my ex never cried (except out of self pity when he realised I was serious about leaving him and he was going to lose half of “his” money). He didn’t cry because he didn’t give a fuck about anyone’s feelings.

Or maybe he could have been an adult and prioritised his child’s needs over his own? Maybe the OP was not prepared to have to make a case for why he needed to prioritise his family? These situations shouldn’t even come up, and by him asking for the OP’s permission he is making her responsible. It’s very manipulative. And don’t blame the OP for her husband’s shitty behaviour.