To find male aggression deeply disturbing to witness as a woman?

That's not rudeness, that's someone who actively enjoys instilling fear based on asserting physical dominance in order to get their way. Far more sinister.

Sorry but youcare wrong.

We are a species of animal, mammalian, primate

Animal
Mammal
Primate
Human

I'm not sure we can always blame men for being male mammals. That doesn't mean that it is acceptable to abuse women but men and their testosterone evolved over millions of years to protect our species. No one blames a bull for behaving like a bull.

I trained karate for nine years and over time learned how to deal with direct eye contact, close body contact and how to fight with men in a very controlled environment. I also learned to shout, really, really hard.

It was the best thing I ever did. I learned that there were things that I could do if I ever felt threatened. I definitely don’t go round looking for trouble but I have used the training in life - I drunk guy put his hand on my shoulder in the middle of town when I was with my kids and I turned around and yelled right in his face. He wasn’t expecting that.

This. Back when I was dating, the faintest hint of a temper / anger issues and they were GONE. Ditto sulking/moodiness/energy sapping.

Absolutely zero tolerance.

I dont think you should compare arachnophobia to hating all men. I think you would be best seeing a therapist (although maybe you do already). People could be scared of spiders in general because of how they look and the surprise element, it's just an ingrained response to be scared, if you hate all men because of some bad experiences then it's not rational.

@SummeringOut
"I'm not an animal. I don't regard men as a class as animals, and I think that doing so goes along with discredited, reactionary ideas about men being programmed to do certain things (fuck around, get into fights) by their 'evolutionary biology'."

Are you religious? Do you believe in Creation rather than evolution?

It’s not nonsense. Everything you say is true, but it’s well established that flight/flight/freeze is run by the primal part of our brain - panic tends to kick us back there.

Of course you're an animal! 😁

Yes for sure, it’s a primal thing isn’t it.

Yes, and knowing that they could actively, or even just passively stop you...

Yes, male aggression scares me for obvious reasons. Almost any man could kill almost any woman quite easily. Even if the aggression is only verbal, there's something deeply disturbing and raw about it.

@Somethingsnapped exactly trying to get around a huge drunk bulk in an emergency or not...

I know what you mean about drunkeness. It can cause such awful behaviour, often in men who are more prone to those behaviours anyway.

I remember being on a train once, sitting by the window, and a big, extremely drunk man sat down in the spare seat beside me. I felt really claustrophobic, and trapped, even though he didn't even speak to me at all. Partly, it was the expectation of being bothered by him, as so often happens in situations like that, with drink involved (in my experience). But also I was worrying about my stop coming up, and what if he refused or was unable to get up (being extremely inebriated)? Which was possibly slightly irrational actually, but that didn't stop me being anxious about it. I don't think that would have crossed my mind if it had been a drunk woman.

😱 Write a book. I'd buy it!

Of course you're not being unreasonable

Your survival instincts are kicking in and telling you you're in danger.

Our lizard brain can't tell the difference between blokes screaming and shouting about a football match and a predator about to come at us.

It is completely reasonable to have a visceral fear reaction to men sending out signals that they might be predators.

Funnily enough the sort of men who cite evolution in order to argue that women should be paid less than men, are also the sort of men who claim women who are scared of them for acting like dangerous apes, are being unreasonable.

Brian Blessed is not on your Christmas card list then.

Nonsense. We’re bipedal primates, sure, but with outsize brains that allowed us develop language, abstract thought, tool use and sophisticated social structures, civilisations, and knowledge structures like mythology, religion, philosophy etc. Which are at least as much of an influence on our behaviours as our ‘animal’ biology.

I have a fear of men having been at the receiving end of male violence. I feel the need to keep it in though so it’s not seen as misandry or sexism but deep down I hate men and would never take a job with a male boss again as I was bullied and belittled by one in the past. It’s crazy that it’s perfectly acceptable to be afraid of spiders and avoid them but totally irrational an offensive to want to keep away from predators that can cause untold harm.

The words 'evolved' and 'evolution' do not mean what you think they mean.

Daily? Really? I haven’t came across
since my teens. Where do you live???

The violence was bigger lads throwing younger ones to the ground. If there had been a knife I would have clobbered them with my frame

I avoid it as much as possible but..
. recently went to a big city for an event. Walking back to the hotel with my 17 year old son there was a gang argument going on. It turned into violence. I said to my son to keep walking. But I would have stepped in if I saw someone getting beat up. I use a walking aid and would have clobbered them with it!!

Well technically you are. We all are.

I also grew up around violent drunk men so it was par for the course for me.

Now when I'm out and I see swaying drunk men in crowds or I get stuck behind one i feel claustrophobic.

My dh doesn't drink much at all and is a million miles from violent however 20 years ago he did square up to someone who was being rude to me.

I think we are far more animalistic than people think we really are still at jungle level it's just wrapped in houses etc