Ok so bit of a long one, apologies.
pretext is, my DS is 12 at the end of year 7. He has high functioning ASD which mainly affects his anxiety he has in social settings, and he is a big worrier about certain things, other than that he gets on great. One big issue he has is that he is deftly afraid of public toilets and will do anything and everything to avoid them, including limiting food and water at school (I’m aware this is a big issue and we’ve got counselling for it). For him it’s a privacy thing and insecurity.
He had a school all-day trip to another city recently, he said he enjoyed it overall but he got upset over the fact that the teachers kept getting angry that every time they stopped for a big toilet break, my DS wouldn’t go with the other boys and instead would be the only one stood outside. He then said he genuinely didn’t need to go anyway (strong bladder) but the last place they went to before they got back on the bus, one teacher forced him (as in he had no choice) to go to a urinal with him along with everyone else to try for a wee which he feels humiliated by. Now I know the whole point of a urinal is that you go in front of others and don’t look at each other, and that the teacher no doubt meant well, but I feel like it could have been handled better. They treat him like a baby at school because he is a bit socially awkward, but he is mentally mature and independent.
I know my son has insecurities, and that that’s a whole issue I’m trying to work to help him with. Dad isn’t around so I don’t know the whole dynamic or ettiequte of male toilets.