DH has no idea how this feels?!

Do you book days off and tell him he’s got kids? Do you ask him to do the things you do when you don’t feel like doing them?
Do you ask for help & he says no?
You need to communicate this to him, not to us.
All you will get here is “he’s a wanker” attitude.

If however you do ask him and he says no, he is exactly that…. A wanker

She probably does

but best to actually state the facts if the op wants genuinely useful advice and not be sketchy with children’s ages and her DH

Why do you think OP doesn’t need advice?

Wtf? The dd being 10 doesn’t mean the kids don’t need childcare and feeding and cleaning and laundry. The DH is doing fuck all.

It's really not funny 😬 You deserve more than this.

I find these threads very odd

surely just wasting everyone’s time including the Op (who should be job hunting!)

People are allowed to be contradictory and change their feelings about things from one day to the next.
It is rude to quote the OP's other posts as some kind of criticism. How is that helpful?
When in a troubled relationship, it is quite normal to think he is wonderful one week and think he is selfish and useless the next week.

What is relevant is the facts, such as ages of children and hours of jobs.

Oh, FFS. So this thread is just “rural, doesn’t drive, useless DH” bingo for lols.

I am confused as to which scenario is the real one now? Anyway I have very little patience with fully functioning adults who haven’t learned to drive. It’s an essential skill for life.

Somewhat contradicting

He's a wonderful father. He will take our DD out just the two of them on a sat/Sunday for a few hours to give me some alone time. We do things together obviously but I appreciate that a lot.
He helps around the house without making a fuss and takes care of "the man jobs" that I genuinly cannot figure out how to do (like spending hours putting together furniture and then taking it apart again and back together when I wanted it in another room cos I'm a bloody nightmare). He's just wonderful, honestly. I don't know how or why he puts up with me but I am so so grateful to have him.

Can see why you are feeling how you are, I’m the same rely on bus, school pick ups, the one who needs to be home if the kids are sick ect hope you find something suitable soon :)

Yup.

as ways, the devil is in the detail that the op doesn’t provide or avoids answering

Eh in that case, if the school is only 15 min away I’d assume they are pretty self sufficient at least getting home. How odd.

household finance squeeze: have you declared loss of your income to mortgage provider? Might it be worth looking into as you might get break or can modify the plan?

dh job: so he moved you all then took the Cardiff job despite the commute? Hmm. Is there any chance of remote work? Reduced hours? Modified schedule (7-3/11-7)?

op job: going to be tricky as you know. If income is your immediate/urgent priority then a short period of eg summer holiday childcare, could be a stopgap? I know it summit your preference but anyone can do anything for 2 months! For your ‘proper’ job, you should consider BOTH your jobs in the round eg if DH did 0.8 does that enable you to go to the office. He needs to show some accommodations too.

op other quick income: MSE has some tips on surveys, consumer polls etc which might be worth a look? Gives you something different to do when job hunting in any case.

Driving: get a Highway Code book - you can get cheap from WOB (just get a recent edition) or borrow from library. Your first step will be theory in any case. Your DH can teach you the basics on the nearest car park and then just before the test take a pack of 10-15 lessons from driving instructor on the test format and getting familiar with the area around the test centre.

What are your skills?

Teaching assistant does seem like the obvious option, I understand you may not love the idea, but you are not in a place of lots of options so I’d explore it.

Apart from the fact your husband is not a family player, which has been well covered, it seems that neither of you plan well. Moving to a (rural?) area without many work options with no driving license was crazy.

You both need to get your shit together so get this moving assp

How old are your children?

Sorry I know it’s not easy but your DH should be doing some childcare (can he do compressed hours, start early a few days a week and do pickup etc) and you need to learn to drive. I’d start off by taking a weekend job in a supermarket etc that your DH can drive you to to get the money for 1/2 driving lessons in the week whilst the kids are at school, and do that for as long as it takes you to pass.

Either that or move to a smaller house in/ near a city so that there are places you can work which you can walk to (and hopefully with some savings left over for driving lessons/ childcare).

Learning to drive would give you more options.

As you are redundant his job is obviously more important for now for your family income, but as you said he chops and changes a lot, is it time he started looking for a new one that fits around his share of looking after his children and supporting you with your career now? Surely it’s your turn to find something that fulfils you without being dictated 100% around your kids (and husband).

Learning to drive really is a priority in your living situation. It costs less than £500 to insure yourself on your DH’s car and get him to help you. Pay for a couple of lessons to get you going.

How old are your children now?

How old are you children?

rural?