DH has no idea how this feels?!

OP he needs to recalibrate his thinking. If you get a job where you have to leave at 6:30 what is he going to do?

OP assuming this is real, why can’t you work evenings or weekends until you’ve passed your test (DH can sort kids and drop you off?).

That’s exactly the point. If you don’t drive you live in London or another big city. You don’t move to rural wales FFS!

Do you like dogs/able to offer dog sitting at your home. You may need a licence but there is huge demand for this in my area and the charges seem like you could make really good money and work it around family life/being at home.

It's what I would look to go into if I had to change careers

Even if she's a horrible person, she still deserves her partner and the other parent of her children actually parenting and doing their fair share in terms of the home/family.

I'm not sure I get your point. In what circumstances would someone NOT deserve that?

Does she? Why does she deserve more than this? On what evidence?

What's the point of the deadbeat husband?
The kids will think being a slovenly misogynist is normal, aspirational. That women are for serving men

This is going to sound harsh but its tempting to think if you can make the other person understand how you feel, they'll come round to your point of view.
But its not true. He has no interest in your feelings. He has things set up the way he prefers - he has you running ragged, you're dependant on him, and he gets to put you down with stupid comments.
Instead of spending any effort explaining it to him, make plans to improve things for yourself, and don't explain them to him.

Not relevant to your current question but if you are interested in learning how to drive when back on your feet I have the number for a Cardiff driving instructor who’s £32ph. Definitely not £50!

OP I have sent you a DM with a link to a company I have worked alongside for years that is fully remote call centre - you don’t even need to go in for training.

@Disneydatknee88 call a recruiter - my husband was in the exact same position - works similar "low skilled" admin work, has no degree and only a few years experience, prior to covid he worked in coffee shops - he was made redundant three weeks ago - got a new admin job literally the same day - starting three days later.
He is now WFH three days a week, and his office is in our local town - on the bus - you can do it!

Also tell your husband to pull his bloody socks up you can't do everything by yourself!

This thread is obviously just made up twaddle although well done for using the phrase 'bussing it' - a great reminder of my younger days

on the off chance it's true try sensee recruitment my ds has an interview on Monday he applied and did online tests yesterday. Fully remote but you need your own pc etc - not great reviews either tbh but needs must in the meantime

Have you thought about applying for Teaching Assistant roles @Disneydatknee88
.
They aren't very well paid but they do suit people who need to work around school holidays.

Advertised on school websites or a website called Green Sheets.

His response confirms what a selfish deluded avoidant parent he is.
I hope it works out.
Sounds like you have sacrificed a lot following a waster.

What stood out for me here is that there is no sense of team work. You work around the kids and do all the house stuff too. He…does want he wants when he wants. That’s not a partnership, it’s living together but having separate lives. I do think you need to speak to him about this and if he really doesn’t get it, think about what you need and deserve. It makes no sense at all for you to be tying yourself in knots while he breezes through life.

Oh the entirely predictable ‘oh I live in London so don’t need to drive’ poster has arrived. They invariably pop up on any thread that mentions the need to be able to drive.

School based jobs would pay a full time wage equivalent - and the OP doesn’t like kids beside her own. That’s not an option.

This is a problem you both have to solve. His salary, for such long hours away form home, and not pulling his weight at child care and domestic duties is not enough frankly. If you were saying you were comfortably off, could afford driving lessons etc then that’s easier to reconcile…but he is not earning enough for the sacrifices you are making.
so he needs to increase his wage too. The Cardiff job is potentially leaving you isolated. He needs to be looking too at improving his prospects and getting work with shorter commute and more flexible timing so he can do some of childcare drops.
in meantime I’d strongly suggest taking a loan to get driving lessons. I know that sounds daft, but this is investment for your career and your kids. As much as anything your dh should also be taking you out driving for practice, both to get enough hours in to practice and build confidence, but also to keep costs down.

in meantime take whatever you can in terms of work, but make it conditional on that job salary with dh that driving lessons are mandatory now to give youfelxibiblty

you are not only sacrificing your earnings abailty at the alter of your dhs “my job is more important becuase I earn more”, you are setting yourself up to be in that position when you retire…entirely dependant on state pension and completely stuffed. You need to seriously start working out a career plan so once kids are less dependant you can move out of zero hours gig stuff and start earning a decent salary and pay into a pension.

your dh must support this. To enable you to do training and learning for a better career , learn to drive and whatever else is needed to give you a more secure future, and build your families wealth overall.

he also needs to stop fannying around re his leave. ALL of his leave should be at school holiday bar say 5 days that he holds back for emergencies. That would cover kids sick leave, emergency situations at home etc. the rest is taken as a family holiday (even if holiday at home) or he’s covering childcare alone while you’re working. That’ll keep down expensive child care costs.

if your dh won’t do this. If he continues to act like a single bloke who won’t make change to support his wife, kids and generally work as a team and make compromises, frankly you need to think about your future. Your resentment will grow over time by him holding you back with his selfish “my career comes first”. If the marriage breaks up then you’ll be even worse off. Better to think seriously now, if he refuses to do the above.

youneed to have a long think about what career you do want. Dont undersell yourself. Go back to education in whatever hours you can spare, even in evenings once he gets home. Don’t let him dictate that you’re only deserving of a low wage, low regarded, throw away job. You are capable of more than he thinks you are.

This is what hits me. Of course it’s hard if he is not pulling his weight. At all!!

Are you able to say something to him?

He doesn’t get it because he’s never had to juggle it all. You’ve built your whole working life around the kids, the schedule, the gaps—he just picks and chooses. Tell him you need proper time to job hunt, and that from now on, he needs to cover some pickups or plan his leave around school too. This isn't just your load to carry.

Umm unless you live and work somewhere where it makes no sense to drive?? I’ve lived in London all my life and never had a job with any sort of parking so even if I could - I wouldn’t drive to work. Same at the weekend, everything is on transport and I’ve never needed it on holidays (city breaks, or I book group tours if rural, or all inclusive where transport is provided) Why all the expense for something I’ll never use? Bit unnecessarily judgey

She’s laughing at the pp calling her husband ‘a useless sack of minge’. Is she not allowed to laugh?

How was she sketchy? She never said how old the kids are in her OP.

Why is it funny? You really think this was a good example for your children?

(I read through your updates but not every other post)

There are many options here - you could stop assuming you cover all the school holidays and sit down with him at the start of the year and split them up. Like you said, your children are old enough to start working on other options (though it sounds like your 10 year old has additional needs?).

Can another parent bring your kids back from after school club and your husband pick them up from that house? Sounds like he's home 15 minutes after it ends anyway so not a huge ask. For that matter - anyone live near you and could just bring them back? Does your older child get themself back and forth to school? Can they just go to the primary school and wait with your younger one for your husband to get them? I think it's time to think about all sorts of creative options here. Can you get an electric bike?

Moving somewhere that requires driving and being unable to drive was a massive mistake but appreciate there are many reasons this could happen. But you don't need an instructor - you can get your permit and go drive with your husband.

What's your husband doing to find a better job? Can he earn more so you can work part time? Can he work closer and split the school runs? Can you move?

This just doesn't sound like a sustainable situation and if your youngest won't be able to be home alone or get back and forth to school there are years ahead of this.