My boyfriend is going back and forth with his ex fling.

These posts sound AI-generated.

Sigh. By the sounds of you, you're going to be doing the pick me dance with this knob (and probably future knobs) for a long time.

He v much stuck and loves the drama,the texts. He’s into her
Wakey, wakey. You really don’t need to accept this crap. Unless you like drama too
Doesn't matter that they only dated 3mth. They dated. They have history.They remain in contact

Run the fuck away

This.

YABU to not know what to do. Dump him and never look back, why waste another breath on a loser?

You’ve come up with two options in your head.

1. he likes her more than you - you’re dismissing that because he’s with you and his texts are in your opinion ‘rude’. We’re all telling you, that engaging with her is proof it’s more than that regardless of what he says. She believes he likes HER more.

2. is that it’s ‘just’ an ego boost to him - you seem to be drawn to this explanation because it means he likes you and is playing with her for his own gain, so you deem yourself more important. Why on earth would this scenario be ok to you? Why on earth would you like a man who is playing with another woman’s feelings like this?

In both scenarios he is a cheat, using one woman for his own gain while keeping the other there just in case.

He may not end up with either of you but what’s for sure is he has the hallmarking of a cheat who will go onto cause a lot of heartbreak.

You need to get out and fast.

You obviously are not willing to accept that he still fancies her. Perhaps he is just in it for an ego boost but either way he his willing to meet her behind your back.
You haven't been with him long and he is already planning to cheat. It doesn't matter what his reasons are.. get some self respect and dump him or you will be posting scenarios like this on MN for ever.

Do you think he likes her

Jesus fucking Christ why are you asking the same version of the same thing over and over again? Why does it matter whether he likes her? He's behaving like a dickhead. Don't date a dickhead. The end.

Omg what have I read. You are young. Move on. He’ll only ever be trouble.

It’s because he wants to fuck her with no commitments and she’s stupid enough to let him.

Don’t be like her.

Why is she a fling but you’re not, after only six months when you’re clearly not exclusive? He’s not your man. He’s a wannabe player and you are allowing it.

Let this one go, he’s a knob.

My god, have some self respect and end this.
Every scenario you’ve painted here isn’t good.

• If he’s not interested in her and after an ego boost - no good. He’ll always want that ego boost from other women.

• If he’s not interested in her he’s being a dickhead to both her and you. Stringing you both along.

• He’s agreed to meet up with her and will cheat on you. Even if he doesn’t, he shouldn’t be interested in messaging her at all if he’s interested in you.

End it and find someone who wants YOU.

Obviously he has feelings for her if he’s going to meet up with her otherwise why bother.
That’s just my opinion of course. I can’t see any other reason for them meeting up.
He’s hedging his bets by seeing the two of you at once.
Have some self respect and finish it with him or you’ll end up very hurt.
You're young you’ll soon find someone else whose really into you.

If you keep seeing him you are going to get nothing but grief. Walk away from him and from any other man that treats you with disrespect. You are worth more than this.

@Jakielove Here's how it is. He doesn't really care for either of you. He loves the attention he is getting from both of you, and he likes the fact that he has a lot of power over you both. That's why he is being rude to her. To see how far he can push it before she retreats. It doesn't make him respect her, the opposite, but it feeds his curiosity.

You are also in this game. You let him contact the ex, and still stay. Its all about his ego. You are puppets in his game. Up to you if that's the kind of dynamic you want to live with, where it will never be about you, your needs and respect, but at least do it knowingly.

It might be the ex right now, there will be others. He is pulling in all the energies from others he can possibly get. You're just one of them.

Yes he has feelings for her. It's also a really bad sign that he is so rude and disrespectful to her. Maybe it's some kind of horrible 'banter' their dynamic has. Whichever, you can do so much better. How is your self-esteem? A new boyfriend who was busy engaging with his ex would be an instant turn off for me and I would move on. How come it's not like that for you?

jesus Christ op, he’s not that into you, he’s far more into her, tell him you deserve a relationship where you’re the only love interest in their life, that’s obviously not him and please leave. Then block and move on.

You clearly don’t want to end things with him, despite us all saying that he is playing you. Why would he be meeting her, other than to have sex with her. Walk away.

His actions are of a man child who really likes or is in love with his ex. But instead of telling her that he's acting mean, then nice towards her to trst the waters and see if she still has feelings for him.

As harsh as it may sound to you, but you really need to hear it - You're his back up plan for sex and attention and he's totally stringing you along. Forget what he's saying to either of you and focus on his actions. His actions are telling you everything.

I know you're hopeful that he just wants her attention and that's not good either but reading between the lines he's very into her. Your gut knows it. You know it! But you're lying to yourself.

Fuck him off! You deserve better! I promise you. You deserve better.

And also: how would he feel if his current GF was still having flirty chats with her ex-fling/boyfriend/shag-buddy etc etc? The answer is: he would hate it.

Why TF do you care what I think? Who cares what he thinks about her? As I've already said: the only person who knows how he feels about her is him. And in any event, what does it matter?? He's already demonstrating how he feels: he feels like he wants to keep talking to her. With the greatest respect in the world: grow up a bit. You're asking questions that kids ask in playgrounds because they haven't learned to respect themselves yet.

Tell boyfriend that it is not cool nor respectful to you nor grown up in any way to continue following his ex girl friend.

Ask him if he would mind cutting contact?
If he abides and is not fazed in doing so, keep going out with him.
If he responds with no understanding, give him the flick.

Who cares?? You could play this game with every single of his actions. The person you should be asking his him, not us. The fact you're trying to figure out the "why" of what he's doing and he's not interested in avoiding doing stuff that would obviously bother you should tell you all you need to know! He's given you red flags - you can either choose to accept him red flags and all (which means you don't get to be bothered by that behaviour anymore...) or you can end things and find someone else who doesn't prompt this behind the scenes "I need to ask mumsnet why he is doing XYZ" nonsense. Here's a rule for the next relationship: if he's doing something that makes you want to ask mumsnet about it then LEAVE.

He isn't your boyfriend. He's just a boy who is your friend, and he's keeping his options open. If you're questioning what he's doing on his phone/who he's contacting already, and he's giving you cause to be concerned/keeping in contact with flings then he's not especially interested in your feelings. You're 25 - presumably he's young too - do yourself a favor and find someone who actually wants to be your boyfriend and wants to have an exclusive relationship. This guy doesn't. Don't waste any time fretting about it or setting ultimatums or having arguments etc etc - just calmly tell him that clearly you are both not on the same page in terms of what it means to be in a committed and loving relationship, and that you're moving on. Wish him well. Byeeeee. And, if you can, book yourself on a little holiday somewhere warm and lovely (or whatever or wherever it is you enjoy - heck, a weekend in London? A few days in Ibiza? A cycling holiday in the south of France? A roadtrip across america??) and go off and have a great time unburdened by anyone else. Have fun!!! Plenty more fish in the sea