Asking if you took a Ukrainian guest in your home why you want them gone asap?

You don’t begin to understand the issue. And btw, “having a roof over your head” is not a privilege, it’s a basic human need.

I would guess that was a wrong choice of word from someone who is clearly not completely fluent in English. I took it to mean “recover”. I know the journey alone was extremely stressful for my Ukrainian guest and she won’t have been alone in that. If OP’s host was trying to make her get a job within a week of arrival that wasn’t particularly empathetic, nor was it needed. Those of us who provided accommodation were given an allowance as a thank you.

Why did you feel you needed time to relax? You had the privilege of a safe roof over your head away from war, why not want to pay for your own expenses to help the family who were protecting your life? It's not a holiday after all.

Yes, I agree.

And I've been to Lviv and would go again when it's safe, it's a wonderful, fascinating place.

I'm relaxed about Ukrainians returning home for medical treatment etc. Although I think this website is on the optimistic side.
https://visitukraine.today/blog/4809/travel-to-ukraine-2025-how-to-come-to-ukraine-as-a-tourist-rules-and-safe-cities#what-countries-can-i-enter-ukraine-from-without-a-visa

That said, it hi-lights the way that white, European, Ukrainian asylum seekers/refugees are treated differently to their black or brown fellow asylum seekers/refugees: if an Afghan or Eritrean returned home even to see a dying relative whilst their claim for asylum was being processed it would mean an automatic denial of claim.

Our Ukrainian colleagues flying back and forth regularly for a variety of reasons- holidays, dental treatments etc.

I ran an informal support group in our area for families who took in Ukranians. I would say the success rate was 50/50 and it was more likely to be successful with an older retired
couple with space who took in a mother and child. The intentions of most people who
sogned up to host were honourable and break down of placements was not solely due to the host in most instances. The Govt put together a quick scheme and some aspects worked some
didnt
our family made comment recently of lots of Ukranians not working and relying on benefits when they should be and also that financially it about the same if they worked or stayed on benefits. I don’t have knowledge enough
to know if it is fair comment
I only found out how
much impact it had on my own kids after - they never said a word until they moved out at which point they all said how hard it was,
how pleased they were it was
over but how glad they were we had done it

People got caught up in the spirit/novelty of it and then realised the reality was very different.

No privacy in your own home can wear thin fast, especially when your personalities might not gel.

Unfortunately I knew this would be the case from the get go. Especially these people that did it just so they looked generous for social media.

Wisen up is a really common expression where I live lol. But maybe I just live in a city full of saddos.

Of course the OP was goady - you need to be really naive not to see that. And OP hasn’t returned which is typical goady poster behaviour.

I don’t see how it’s goady or inflammatory, it’s quite an interesting conversation. Certainly not frothing.

Saying “wisen up” doesn’t make you sound as cool or street-wise, just a little bit sad.

A lot of people did indeed have them for longer, but the families we know who signed up were strongly under the impression it was long enough to set up the new arrivals, estimated at a maximum six months. There was then an offer to extend the government payment for longer.

Absolutely. My friend’s Mum got caught in an air attack in Lviv on her way over here from central Ukraine.

Ha ha - sometimes I think that about my ex-husband!

I hope you manage to get rid of him soon.

At the start of the invasion, there were rocket attacks all over the country, not just the East. Our guests were from (safe) central Ukraine and they were heavily targeted at the start because their air force is based in that city. They fled and they’ve never returned to Ukraine since, even though they are missing their family terribly. Mum is just too scared to put the children in danger again.

Our guests (Mum, and son now 14, and daughter now 9) all have PTSD. One particular event I’ll never forget was being out with daughter who was about 7 at the time. Some fireworks unexpectedly went off and she screamed and dropped to the floor in a ball, violently shaking. She had wet herself. This is the most beautiful, happy, outgoing little girl. To look at her, you would never guess that she was holding that trauma, but it cuts very deep.

Since then, their city has only suffered one heavy bombing raid. Even ‘safe’ places like Lviv suffer sporadic attacks, even though they’re not occupied like the East. There are daily drone attacks on Kyiv and people are killed. People consider Kyiv to be safe.

Nowhere is completely safe. Some people think the risks are worth going back for, others don’t. I guess it depends on how anxious a person you are. I certainly wouldn’t take my children there.

Haha. My thoughts exactly.

I’m sorry that you’ve experienced this - I’m in NI & my ndn took in 2 Ukrainians, one of whom still lives there & the other has now gone back to Ukraine.

I think there is very little support from anyone for them anymore & I think a lot of people would find it difficult to live with someone else for a long time.

My initial reaction was to be offended as I took in a Ukrainian woman who stayed for two years but then I remembered her stories about the first couple they were with who were very controlling and seemed to want to show her and her sister off as their charity project.

Wisen up.

OP has written a massively goady and inflammatory post, got you all frothing at the mouth and disappeared.

And yes, the title is written in much better English than the pidgin English post.

I had a Ukrainian guest for a short time. She decided to leave because she found somewhere she liked better. It was obvious straight away that she had come here because she thought it was a good opportunity to work abroad and she told me she'd planned to leave Ukraine anyway; the war just brought her plans forward. She was prepared to work very hard and do any kind of work but she was very inconsiderate and treated my house like a hotel and me like the staff. I'd assumed she would stay with me for a year or so then move on, at which point I'd offer the room to someone else, but after this experience I decided not to.

We had a Ukrainian student live with us for a year. Yes - sharing a kitchen was sometimes a little challenging, but not terrible. We have a decent sized house and she had a bedsit in it.
She spoke no English when she arrived, but took English lessons as soon as possible at the same time as doing her degree on line with her Ukrainian university. She managed to work at 2 jobs, too. Such a hard worker. When she arrived it took a couple of weeks to do things like signing on etc. and needed ferrying around as we live in a village with minimal public transport.
It probably cost us a bit more in heating bills, but asap she bought her own food. She now house shares with others and we don't hear from her at all. We don't regret hosting her, but it's lovely to have our house back.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing it is in place for him to go. I am aware of the stupidity and I know you get tossers in all walks but having seen this entitlement first hand I am almost in awe of his self confidence.

Absolutely!

My own ability to learn foreign languages is appalling, so I don’t judge other people!

You get good and bad people from everywhere - and male cocklodgers from everywhere!

Probably a mistake to sleep with him but we live and learn. I would get rid of him asap - he sounds like a right piece of work and will still be looking to take advantage where he can.

Agreed,

Anyway we all understand what the op is saying.