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Original poster

Wedding gift list asking for cash

169 replies

Liveandletlive25 · 25/06/2025 16:11

How much is normal to give?
We’re a family of 5 going to the whole wedding.
Thanks

OP posts:
rhrni · 25/06/2025 16:53

I would give £50 x

Viviennemary · 25/06/2025 16:52

SapporoBaby · 25/06/2025 16:50

My wedding was served family style with no starter and I found it as cheap as possible at £65pp last year. Not including the booze which I bought myself. £150 for 5 people is £30pp which might cover the hire of a chair each or perhaps the dessert only.

Show quote history

If you can't afford it fine, but don't expect guests to cover your costs.,they are guests.

Viviennemary · 25/06/2025 16:50

It's really cheeky and grabby asking for money in the wedding invitation. Not sure what I'd give. Less because they asked.

SapporoBaby · 25/06/2025 16:50

alcoholnightmare · 25/06/2025 16:34

I think the ‘done’ thing is to cover the cost of your meals at the wedding?
As a family of five, I’d probably give £150, but I think £100 is very acceptable.

My wedding was served family style with no starter and I found it as cheap as possible at £65pp last year. Not including the booze which I bought myself. £150 for 5 people is £30pp which might cover the hire of a chair each or perhaps the dessert only.

SapporoBaby · 25/06/2025 16:48

At least £50 per person. That won’t even cover your presence but that’s not required in the UK. So fam of 5 I’d say £250.

CarpetKnees · 25/06/2025 16:47

Depends on how close you are (I'd give my God Child more than my colleague for example) and what your budget is.
I'd also take into consideration if it were one of the weddings where they'd booked a venue in the middle of nowhere 3 hours from home for the aesthetics, which then necessitated overnight stays for us all.

abigxforyou · 25/06/2025 16:44

@shortsharp it used to be gifts for the couple to set up home together. My parents only moved in together after they were married so had nothing and the gifts were useful. 1960s and Catholic.

Now pretty much everyone lives together so what do you think is an acceptable gift list? What would it have on it?

I believe that for at least 30 years people would have a John Lewis wedding gift list where guests would choose items from and then the couple could opt to have the whole thing in cold hard cash.

@Liveandletlive25 I would spend between £50 - £100 depending on how well I knew them.

QuickPeachPoet · 25/06/2025 16:44

Your presence is their present IMO.

justkeepswimingswiming · 25/06/2025 16:37

Id give £50.

Shoth · 25/06/2025 16:37

alcoholnightmare · 25/06/2025 16:34

I think the ‘done’ thing is to cover the cost of your meals at the wedding?
As a family of five, I’d probably give £150, but I think £100 is very acceptable.

Well if the “done” thing is to cover the cost of your food, then £150 for 5 of you seems very light indeed, unless the reception is being held at the local Harvester.

CeciliaMars · 25/06/2025 16:36

I'd give £100 for the whole family.

Coffeeishot · 25/06/2025 16:36

There is no covering of a plate thing, no bride &groom wants you to pay for your dinner.

Cloudysky81 · 25/06/2025 16:35

I prefer giving cash, I get annoyed by how much wedding gift list companies markup prices and charge commission.

I’d say £100 per adult going. Depends massively on personal circumstances though.

Coffeeishot · 25/06/2025 16:34

Although we gave £150 .to our nephew last year. So I think it depends.

alcoholnightmare · 25/06/2025 16:34

I think the ‘done’ thing is to cover the cost of your meals at the wedding?
As a family of five, I’d probably give £150, but I think £100 is very acceptable.

Coffeeishot · 25/06/2025 16:33

Family or friend ? How much would you realistically spend on a gift , i think 50-100 is average on a wedding gift.

Eldermileniummam · 25/06/2025 16:30

I agree with the first post. I don't like people asking for gifts or money but I would usually give money and £100 seems reasonable from five of you but depends on your budget and how well you know the person.

CKN · 25/06/2025 16:28

Depends on who the wedding party is- family or friends?
Give whatever you can afford, there’s no set rules.

shortsharp · 25/06/2025 16:14

urgh I know I’ll get flamed for this but I HATE people asking for cash. It’s tasteless and grabby.

i know I’ll get the line about “nobody wants it 5 toasters” but I could never dictate a gift.

anyway, depends on how well you know the couple and are you going the full day? £100?