Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel very weirded out by this encounter

33 replies

Barefootfreak · 25/06/2025 12:13

I go out walking every day to try to keep fit. I walk along quite a quiet road where there's very few people. Some days I don't see anyone.

Anyway, this morning on my way back home along this road, I saw a man walking towards me, a bit off in the distance.

I had my noise cancelling headphones on, baseball cap on and head down just focused on my podcast and my walk. When the guy got up close to me I realised he had a dog and had it on a non retractable lead.

He then let his dog walk right up to me and bury it's head right into my groin. Didn't pull it away. I had to push the dog away with my thigh. I looked at the guy with a 'what the actual fuck' look on my face and he just had this big grin on his face like he thought it was funny or cute.

Now I'm thinking that it was a bit weird that he just let his dog come up to me like that and did absolutely nothing to stop it. He didn't pull the dog away at any point, even when I looked at him. Honestly, I felt a bit violated by it. Did he know his dog would do this and maybe gets some sort of kick out of it?!

Am I right to feel a bit weird about this encounter or am I making a big deal about nothing?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Barefootfreak · 26/06/2025 13:24

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I agree about the headphones, although that really wouldn't have made a difference in this instance. I might switch the NC part off in future or just not bother with them at all.
I've contacted a local councillor through a neighbourhood fb page to see if they have heard of any similar incidents locally. Not sure what else to do. Don't think police will be interested tbh

OP posts:
Barefootfreak · 26/06/2025 13:19

@namechangetheworld I don't know whether he apologised but that's not the point. He still allowed his dog to approach me like that and did nothing to stop it

OP posts:
Escapetothecatshome · 26/06/2025 12:44

That’s really not nice, and not okay.
When I got out walking especially rural spots I always take a walking stick with me, I find it puts dogs off coming towards you they are much wearier, it sends out a subconscious message also to other people. These days you have to be so careful, and I hate to say it because you should be able to wear noise cancelling earphones but out alone they aren’t a great idea.

Verv · 26/06/2025 12:31

GabriellaMontez · 26/06/2025 12:19

You could be right. He could have trained his dog to approach women and sniff their crotches.

Or, he's just another dog owner who can't fathom that no one else wants his dog near them.

No, that is not what's being said, and you know it so stop the manipulation.

Nobody "trains" their dog to sniff crotches, dogs do sniff crotches because they produce pheromones which a dog can read to glean information. Dogs do not do this for kicks.

Responsible owners pull the dog away if it is on the lead, or they apologise, because regardless of how "charming" they find their dogs, they KNOW that crotch sniffing is inappropriate.

The issue here is not the dog.
It is the grinning man that failed to move the dog while it was being inappropriate under his control, so, address your bile towards the gurning man who used an extension of himself to sniff a womans crotch.

It wouldn't have happened with a female owner, or a decent male owner.

GabriellaMontez · 26/06/2025 12:19

Verv · 26/06/2025 11:55

No, he doesnt think his dog is charming. He's using a dog to humiliate a woman.
Aim your barbs in the right direction.

You could be right. He could have trained his dog to approach women and sniff their crotches.

Or, he's just another dog owner who can't fathom that no one else wants his dog near them.

namechangetheworld · 26/06/2025 12:10

How do you know he didn't apologise, if you had noise cancelling headphones in?

dairydebris · 26/06/2025 11:58

I think your instincts are correct.

Swiftie1878 · 26/06/2025 11:56

I’d report to the police. Just in case. The barefoot thing suggests he’s a bit odd. They would probably appreciate being made aware of his antics.

Verv · 26/06/2025 11:55

GabriellaMontez · 26/06/2025 11:51

Another wanker who thinks his dog is charming and everyone agrees.

No, he doesnt think his dog is charming. He's using a dog to humiliate a woman.
Aim your barbs in the right direction.

WinterAconite · 26/06/2025 11:54

MidnightPatrol · 25/06/2025 16:18

I think you’re overthinking it tbh

Do you not think the man should have apologised and pulled the dog away, rather than letting it bury its face in her groin and grinning about it?

whatisheupto · 26/06/2025 11:53

100% on purpose and getting a kick out of it. I agree with PP he's probably trained the dog to do it. I wouldn't walk that way again for a good while if I were you OP.

GabriellaMontez · 26/06/2025 11:51

Another wanker who thinks his dog is charming and everyone agrees.

healthybychristmas · 26/06/2025 11:48

To be honest I wouldn't walk that route anymore, particularly with headphones in. He sounds incredibly strange.

VexedofVirginiaWater · 26/06/2025 11:02

Barefoot - eww (and ouch) - that really is odd. I wonder how far he had walked.

Barefootfreak · 26/06/2025 10:14

@VexedofVirginiaWater this is exactly it. It just left me with an uneasy feeling. Who lets their dog walk up to a stranger like that?! I could have been deathly scared of dogs for all he knew, which is what makes me think he knew his dog would stick his face in my crotch and he gets some sort of thrill out of it. Something was very off about the guy. He was walking barefoot too (hence my username 😉) along the path which seemed weird. It's a rural path covered with lots of bird poo and vegetation debris. Not easy to walk along with no shoes!

OP posts:
VexedofVirginiaWater · 26/06/2025 10:00

I think it's the smirk on his face that's telling - you mention it in your OP so it obviously struck a chord, and your instincts were telling you what his attitude/intention was. A "normal" dog owner would have pulled their dog away, apologised profusely and asked if you were ok. He did none of these things. What actually happened could easily be explained away by him if questioned, but his attitude is the giveaway.
This sort of thing leaves you with an uneasy feeling doesn't it - you feel as though you have been sullied in some way. Ugh, horrible man.

(I had the same feeling when I was trying on a dress in an Oxfam shop years ago, just behind a curtain in the shop, and a man pulled back the curtain "by mistake", said oops sorry, and then sniggered a bit with his mate whilst I was hastily getting dressed again. He just smirked too when I came out - I felt unreasonably furious and grubby in equal measures. I would never try on anything in those circumstances again.)

MathsMum3 · 26/06/2025 09:30

My BIL and SIL used to have a dog that did this (it's dead now). Every bloody time we visited, it would shove it's head into my crotch or bum, sometimes with slobber everywhere. They always pulled it off quickly, but nevertheless, so annoying!

Barefootfreak · 26/06/2025 09:19

@Givenupshopping that's a fair point. The road doesn't have many people walking along the path but there's a fair amount of traffic goes along there as it's a road from my village to another village and beyond. I do a circuit to back home. Anyone out to do harm would be silly to try anything along there for this reason. I'm usually quite aware of my surroundings but it was the curve of the road and a hedge that stopped me from seeing the dog. You're right though, I do feel a sense of vulnerability when I go out for a walk but whats the alternative? I guess this is a different subject about women's vulnerability when out alone. Couldn't stop thinking yesterday about the guys smirk on his face. I'm convinced he knew his dog would do that. What a pig!

OP posts:
Givenupshopping · 25/06/2025 21:57

I agree that the guy is a perv OP, but it does make me a little concerned that you aren't concentrating enough on what is going on around you. You couldn't hear due to headphones, and walking along with your head down, you could easily end up being hit by a vehicle of some sort, or sexually assaulted by someone who you weren't even aware was close to you. I know we shouldn't have to, but I think it makes sense to keep your wits about you when you're out walking alone.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 25/06/2025 21:33

The last time a dog did this to me I was 16 and wearing a skirt and the guy who owned it and his mate hauled it off straight away and apologised (it was not on a lead as it was in its own yard).

So I would say yes, this guy's a perv.

VexedofVirginiaWater · 25/06/2025 21:25

SoManyTshirts · 25/06/2025 17:45

Weird. Some men believe the dogs can smell period blood and will seek it out if they have been fed raw meat - had to inform an acquaintance who used this as an ‘excuse’ that I was not in fact bleeding and his dog was just pervy.

I do remember though, years and years ago before wheelie bins, you had to put the bin bags out at the front of your house for collection, and a neighbour had a dog - a GS I think - that the son of the family used to just let out to wander. That fucking dog ALWAYS ripped my bin bag open and got out my used sanitary towels - no matter how wrapped up they were. It didn't bother with anything like scraps of meat etc which you would have thought it would be more interested in, just my sanpro - SO embarrassing, and there was no other way to dispose of them. So I think they can smell period blood, but that doesn't mean they should be allowed to sniff women's crotches willy nilly. I would have complained to him to get his dog under control. I certainly complained to the neighbour.

Barefootfreak · 25/06/2025 17:58

@SoManyTshirts that's grim. I'm 57 so it definitely didn't smell period blood! 😀

OP posts:
SoManyTshirts · 25/06/2025 17:45

Weird. Some men believe the dogs can smell period blood and will seek it out if they have been fed raw meat - had to inform an acquaintance who used this as an ‘excuse’ that I was not in fact bleeding and his dog was just pervy.

partyboat356 · 25/06/2025 17:33

Fairly certain he's getting a thrill out of it. Probably trained the dog to do it. Sad pervert.

MyMilchick · 25/06/2025 16:48

Barefootfreak · 25/06/2025 16:46

@CKN I didn't say anything at the time as I was blindsided. Didn't expect it and was a bit shocked. But as I carried on walking I just got angrier and angrier about it. If I see them again I'll definitely give them a wide berth!

If you see him again, before he gets near you tell him to keep his dog away from you