40 years of school ends today.

I only have 2 years left, have 12 years done and 2 to go. I ll be thrilled when the endless school runs come to an end.

Wow! I feel like a fraud now, counting down until my only child heads off to uni in 2 years. I can understand why you'd feel a void.

We ended 16 years of it last week
Although recently DS came and went and there was no more school run it does feel like the end of an era

I actually can’t tell you how much I needed to read this. My eldest will be nearly 40 by the time my youngest finishes school. I have others in between them but have managed to space the two youngest in such a way that the year my second youngest goes off to secondary my toddler will start school which has effectively bought me eight more years of school runs. I’ve been feeling a bit down about the relentlessness of it all (and more than a bit battered by a couple of the older ones’ exams) but this has really reminded me to try and slow down and savour the moments a bit more because I’m only going to have one more set of firsts and the lasts are already beginning 💜

This happened for me back in 2020 when my youngest DD (of 3) left school. Eldest had started school in 2000 and was already through university by then too. She now works and owns her own house. Youngest then went to uni too, graduated last summer and is now working.

It is the swift passage of time that really amazes me. I find it gobsmacking that my eldest turned 30 recently and youngest is about to turn 23. Middle one will be 27 soon too. Where does the time go!? I remember those babies as they all arrived as clearly as if it were yesterday!!

I think we all frequently feel sentimental as each chapter comes to a close, but life goes on. Your role in their lives changes but it doesn't end. We have also now regained the freedom to go on better value holidays during school term time and have done that several times too.

Your feelings are normal but you and your family will adapt. Give yourself something great to look forward to. A nice holiday to somewhere you've always wanted to visit perhaps?

I started school in the same year as your eldest. That is an impressive run, congratulations!

Wow 40yrs that’s impressive!!

I’ll be feeling similar to you in a couple of years when I finish doing school runs, it’ll be 24yrs for me! Although I’m already helping with the odd nursery run for granddaughter so maybe I’ll never actually stop 😂!

Blimey, I thought I was an outlier, first child started in 1999, last one will finish sixth form June 2026.

I will have done 34 years of school by the time my youngest leaves! It will be very odd!

I bet the changes have been significant!
I have just 2 kids and a small age gap. My eldest started ireception n 2009, my youngest has his y13 leavers'assembly tomorrow.

It is a cliche I know but the years really have flown !
School have compiled a photo montage of the leavers on their first day at school....son is gonna love it :)

It may surprise you and you might miss things a lot less than you expect.

i have four adult children. Mine are close together and I worked full time as well as raising them. They went to a P-12 school, so from preschool through to the end of Year 12. I thought after 21 continuous years I’d really miss their school. I know what time of year all the extra special event are.

But, do you know what I missed in the end? Nothing! Not one single thing!

It surprised me a bit, but honestly, all those years of homework, exam stress, musicals, choirs, sports, drop offs and sometimes up to four different pick up times, I missed nothing!

I’d like to say it freed up some time in my life, but with work, I’m just as busy as ever. I just don’t have to ever negotiate the school car park and pick up time and I love that!

Nope, can’t relate. When my last finished school I was beyond thrilled. AND, I would consider that all kids and ourselves had positive school experiences.

It’s just a huge pain in the arse, the fact that you have to run to a schedule, that never suits, and is totally outside your control. God, I despised that aspect. Used to live for school holidays where it all reverted to DH/my schedule instead.

At one point we took the kids out of school for the better part of a year as I scored a remote travelling working opportunity. The older ones did attend local schools where possible but it was more a cultural experience/babysitting frankly and not compulsory (we were able to claim special circumstance and keep enrolled with authorised absence). It was the best time, not due to the work opportunity per se, but simply the fact that we were free of having to fit in with the whole rigid schooling schedule, and stupid stress it involved.

I'm hoping that none of the staff say anything nice to me at the leavers service or I will just cry. I chickened out when he left preschool and said a cheery "see you tomorrow" to the staff on the 2 nd to last day. Then I got dh to take him in and collect him in his last day.

Wow. That is remarkable. I assumed you maybe adopted to have an age span like that

Wow, that's amazing. We have an end of an era situation too, although less dramatic, as our youngest is leaving primary school and our eldest is starting university. We've had at least one child at that primary school since 2010 and for one year there were 4 of them there. My eldest has autism and has gone from not wanting to go to university at all to wanting to go somewhere 4 hours drive away and live there permanently which was quite a shock. I'm going to miss the silly little things like him following me around like a giant 6ft shadow telling me about his day at work, just like he did when he was 4.

That's amazing. Lucky you! Our youngest has his 6th form prom tonight and that's our 17 school years done. I really loved all the stages and feel a bit sad too. I hope you do something really special to celebrate this milestone.

My mil has just gone through similar. She has two babies in the 80s and then another in 2006.

I know exactly how you feel. First child started in 1992 and last child finished in 2023 It was weird not having to keep track of half terms and buy uniforms. Last kid is at Uni now so still home for summer. But I don't that's for much longer either.

Wow. I'm on 18yrs. Will be 28yrs when my youngest finishes!

I think DS (8 years older) had a harder time leaving home and fending for himself. He left for university at 18+3 months with a vague idea of how to cook and to run a washing machine! Fortunately he was with 3 friends who all got care packages from their grandmothers so no shortage of pasta sauce…

As the last child we’ve regularly left DD to dogsit and she’s holidayed alone. She’s a city girl and a few school friends are sticking around, too.
Italian University is a lot more casual than the UK. Fees are €1500-2000 a year so they can take time out or work FT & study PT, or even change course at the drop of a hat! I can imagine DD doing that whereas her brother knuckled down and finished in the minimum time.

About the transition.
We all communicate and update on the family WhatsApp. DS is doing internship for another 4 years so not completely out of his learning phase. We continue to help with living costs.
DH is now retired and offers technical/admin support but I’m still working and appreciate a lightening of the load.
I think OP deserves a medal for dedication to the cause of school-age parenting!

were you 47 when your youngest dc was born?

@MrsAvocet OK was holding it together before this. The image of the confused bus driver 😭

OP I would genuinely love to read a first person piece by you! What would you say the top 3 biggest changes have been? What has been constant/stayed the same? What has surprised you? What would your top lessons be to other school parents? Any tips for motivating reluctant teens?!
What do you wish you had done differently?
What are you most proud of doing and would like to pass on to others?

I’m currently quite an involved parent due to not having much work on… and maybe trying to make up for working crazy hours when they were tiny. I keep thinking about moving closer to DC’s school but the area is very much dominated by that school and I worry that once they leave, I’d be looking at daily reminders of the institution I had left behind! I have a few years to go but fear it’s going to rush by in a blizzard of hormones and stress. And that’s just mine…

Based on what you've said your state pension age is 67 so not long now. Do you have a private pension to top it up?