To ask, in your honest opinion

28/29 probably, but 20 years later all round I am much more confident, calm and sure of myself, and still look pretty good, so I'd rather be me now overall.

I’m in my early forties and in the last couple of years I’ve started to realise how little it matters.
I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphia when I was in my twenties, but it started when I was just six or seven years old, so this is a big deal for me to realise this.
Funny enough I still can’t let go of some of the rituals/ behaviours but something happened in my brain (hormones, age, anti depressants, becoming a mother? I really don’t know) and it’s like a veil got lifted from my eyes and suddenly I just know, it really doesn’t matter.

Well i am me i have never felt or wanted to feel beautiful as what does ot actually mean, anyway? I have never felt ugly i am just happy with who I am

Now at 57. I’m more confident that I’ve ever been. There is more to beauty than looks.

At 35 I looked GOOD. Better than I had the previous ten years. However now, 50 in a couple of weeks, I feel more attractive. SInce 35 there have been two children, depression, weight gain and loss, various illnesses and accidents and injuries. Objectively I'm not in as good a shape now as then - things have sagged, stomach is no longer flat, grey hair is attacking me, wrinkles encroaching, I have more scars, dry skin etc. The confidence that comes with going through those things, with learning to say 'fuck off' when necessary, with having a very loving and supportive husband, with being in a good place in my life and most of all with learning that my value doesn't lie in my looks all mean I'm more attractive if not more conventionally beautiful. Men seem to agree.

You have plenty of time, @Riooo.

Urgh, there is nothing as ugly as caring about whether you are beautiful. Try being kind, compassionate, helpful and thinking of others instead of worrying about what your face looks like. Then you will always be beautiful.

Now. I'm coming up to 40.

I'm in the best shape of my life.
My hairstyle isn't super fashionable but it suits me and it has an 'edge'.
Now I've settled into a good skincare regime, my skin's glowing.
I know how to dress to suit my body.
I walk tall and exude confience.
I have laser eye surgery so I don't need glasses.
I have my teeth regularly whitened.
I keep on top of my eyebrows.
I drink lots of water.
I eat well.
I don't smoke.
I don't really drink alcohol.
I minimise sugar.

I met a colleague the other day that I've not seen in-person for five years. He said "Honestly, Comvit, I can't believe how you look. You look about 26"

When I was talking about a big birthday at the gym the other day, one of women I do weight training with assumed I meant my 30th.

I don't think its coincidental that I'm also the happiest I've ever been in my life - this is with myself, family, work, finances etc. I think beauty and happiness co-produce each other.

29

i was lovely

now old and fat and grey

Around 24, i had a lot of looks and comments. 45 now peri and on mounjaro 🤣I am so so much happier now though than at that age where my head was a mess and had a serious drinking problem. 35 IS still young, i promise. Good luck x

Between 38-55 when I met and married my husband who thought I was beautiful all the time and loved me inside and out which made me feel gorgeous- my sister kept saying “you won’t meet anyone in your wellies”
and I met the most amazing man!

sadly widowed

What is it with the 'I'm 35' and past it threads recently.

35 is young.
You'll never be younger than you are today.
When you're 60 and look at photos of you aged 35 you'll think wow---I was gorgeous. When you're 80 you'll look at photos of you when you were 60 and think you were gorgeous.
If you've any soul and brain, whatever your age you will think you're lucky to be alive, that you're perfect the way you are and then you'll get on with your life and concentrate on something more interesting.

Probably about 40-45. I was a little more groomed and confident by then.

Probably in my 40’s and after divorce when I’d developed my own style and confidence. I learned what suited me and didn’t feel a need to follow trends unless I liked them

54, my age now. Lost weight, skin and hair healthy, through protein additives, work outs, benefitting from physical and mental health. Eyebrows and nail upkeep have been the cherry on the top. I feel the sexiest I've ever felt- for me. I was slim and attractive in my 30s, but didn't have that self-confidence to flourish, back then.

Hands down 40. By far the best I ever looked, finally nailed hair and fashion!

I'm 37 and feel like I'm only now starting to come into my prime. I'm looking after myself more, I feel more confident and secure in who I am and what I want and I'm looking forward to my 40s and the next chapter. Most of my similar aged friends (late 30s, early 40s look fantastic.)

I’m the same age OP. I only now realise I was actually really hot. I spent the whole time I was young and hot feeling insecure. Now I’m recognising my looks fading it’s depressing.

BUT as I’ve grown older I’ve started to recognise my worth, care less, be more secure. All attractive qualities. If a relationship is built on looks alone it was never going to last.

Clive James, quite a wise person I think, once said he didn’t believe anyone was truly beautiful until they were at least 30. I agree.

I did. If took me a while to get over, I thought after 5 years he was the one. He wasn't. And afterwards i realised we really weren't that compatible.
People come and go all through your life. Friends, partners. It hurts when they leave, you have to readjust your mindset on what you thought your life was going to be like.
Your beauty question is sad, to me. Don't equate it with worth, or success. Take time to build up your self esteem. You'll be OK.💐

This.

Never

First post nails it, as usual. I've been where you are, at the same age.
It's natural to feel the way you do after a break up, be kind to yourself.
At 35 you are young. Do things to make yourself happy.

The sunscreen advice is true, every word.
I had a mole removed this year, it's unpleasant.

I think I was at my best around 40.