To feel fed up with the "sleep when the baby sleeps" advice?

It’s daft advice. My youngest would only nap when taken for a walk in the pram. I will say though don’t completely neglect your own needs- no harm will come from 5 minutes of whinging whilst you eat a sandwich.

Yanbu. I was too wired and stressed to do that. I needed to eat and do the bare minimum of laundry and tidying in peace.

Car rides, pram adventures and also setting up a safe playpen type area where your baby can make fussy noises and roll about (not entirely always super happy) while you catch up on chores etc so that you are more likely to have time to go to bed earlier later on.
A baby sitter to walk baby around the block and to the park.
A friend swore by a mechanical musical rocker.
Join a local playgroup to make a nearby net work of support.

Clean when the baby cleans, cook when the baby cooks etc. Stupid advice.

Yanbu.

I have a childless aunt who wanted to know what interesting new hobbies I was taking up, and what creativity and art I was including in my life, since I had all this lovely free time for maternity leave.

I explained that on a good day I might have perhaps 15 minutes where I wasn't directly tending to my non-sleeping-baby's needs.

She responded that 15 minutes should be plenty of time to make a bit of daily progress on a creative project of some kind.

I was too flabbergasted to explain that this 15 minutes was my availabile time for such trivialities as going to the loo, brushing my hair, stuffing a sandwich into my mouth etc, and it wasn't a 15 minute block but perhaps 8-10 opportunities of 90 seconds to 2 minutes.

She still reckons I wasted a golden opportunity. I still kick myself for being too inarticulate with incomprehension of her ignorance that I didn't do anything to help educate her.

My first DS was like this, it was really hard at first, he would only nap for 30 minutes max a couple of times during the day, evenings were a nightmare, forever thankful for my late MIL who came over most evenings just to give me and DH a break. By about 5 months old, he seemed to really like going out in the pushchair, so I would literally go out 3 times a day, not a lot of housework got done and dinner was usually something simple, I did rest and eat whilst he was feeding, I think I got a proper 7 hours sleep when he was around 10 months old. I admit it put us off having another DC and DS2 came when DS1 was nearly 4, he was a complete opposite, loved to sleep, would sleep all afternoon and still go to sleep at 8 pm. OP you have my sympathies.

Mine liked a quick walk in the pram then when asleep I wheeled him into kitchen amd sat near washing machine. No idea why but it worked. Have snack/tea ready so you dont need to use the kitchen and risk waking baby.

Also when it was hard I would go to bed at 9pm, dh would do a feed at 11pm then baby would wake a few hours later so at least I had a chunk of sleep by then. On weekends we took turns for a long lie. Might not be practical if breast feeding but mentioning in case it could work.

You have my sympathy. It's not an easy time. The only thing that worked with my sons was a car ride. They would conk right out. Sending hugs 🫂 💐 🙏 ❤️