Please don't give my husband more paternity leave.

Yes, one of the better outcomes of lockdown was my realisation that nothing needed to be ironed! Of course the iron and ironing board are still required for blocking crochet squares!

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway I would rather maternity leave was better - full pay for a full year, and men weren't at home for more than 2 weeks.

You genuinely think you personally thinking your husband shouldn’t have more than 2 weeks off and be in your home for more than 2 weeks should influence statutory policy for all men and families?

I have not RTFT completely but just have to say what a load of regressive nonsense that article is. Pile of washing? WTF? "Limited grasp" of the laundry "system"? What bloody system. Stick it in the fucking washing machine, hang it up to dry, pack it away some time later, maybe iron the child's school trousers, and my work ones if necessary (my DH does that). Not rocket science. The stupid infantilisation of men is so 20th century...and so lazy...if her DH is really like that he should be told to pull his act together. Does he really expect lunch to be made for him? If so, why?

I hang them on the airer right and the creases drop as they dry. Then into the wardrobe they go.

I only iron if it's absolutely necessary. See suit shirts or formal wear.

DH has a uniform which is made of material that doesn't require ironing. I WFH mostly so the odd crease in the back of a t-shirt makes no odds. Also, clothes wrinkle when you wear them or sit in the car etc.

What are you wearing that requires so much ironing?

That is her way of dealing with it. A good percentage of men are this useless and are better off making money for the household. so i can see where she’s coming from

Like many posters on here, I haven't ironed anything since around 2013, except for my DH's shirt when we went to weddings. (We've been to 3 in the past 12 years.) Ergo I have ironed 3 shirts in 12 years. That is all. When I wash stuff it goes on the line, or hangers in the house if it's raining, and it doesn't need ironing.

Why have women always done so much ironing over the years? My mum used to iron pillow cases, handkerchiefs, underpants, socks, t-shirts, skirts, jeans, you name it. Housewives/SAHMs must have been more bored then. 😆 (Understandable I guess. No internet, no Netflix, no social media, no satellite TV, no smartphones, most of them couldn't drive, only 2-3 channels on the TV (and they stopped broadcasting by midnight.)

That article is batshit!

Like several others, I would rather maternity leave was better - full pay for a full year, and men weren't at home for more than 2 weeks. My husband wasn't a nuisance or useless, but quite honestly, I preferred it when he went back to work. (He booked 2 weeks off and was with me til our DC were 14-15 days old.) I could not have tolerated him being off work for 6 months or something! Nooooooo! 😱

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??? Are your iron, and ironing board in the attic or something? What's so hard about getting the ironing board and iron out?

Thanks to all of those who replied to my ironing comment. (Sorry I sidestepped the actual post 🤦‍♀️). It’s just different from what I used to. We both work corporate jobs so I couldn’t imagine not having our clothes ironed at all - I would feel unkempt and I would assume so would my H. Not judging as I know I’m very “extra” (as the kids say) even my bedding is not put on without being ironed nor towels is im perfectly honest! It’s probably an OCD. But hey I don’t care that much. I do find it interesting to know what other people do!

We don't own a dryer - we dry a lot of stuff on hangers.
DH gives his work shirts and trousers a quick go over with the iron, I don't own shirts/blouses specifically because I CBA with ironing.

And nobody’s suggesting that all women need 12 months. That why maternity leave is up to 12 months. But some women do need that long (and longer) and suggesting that all women should be able to go back to work earlier because some can is also not helpful. To be clear, I think that maternity leave and paternity leave should be considered and discussed separately. I don’t like the idea of ‘shared parental leave’ because I think it’s a fast track to taking something away from women and giving it to men under the guise of equality. And the reasons women need maternity leave, and men need paternity leave, are not all the same, and never will be, because men don’t give birth.

its a selection effect - people complain about problems, whereas behaving like a normal decent human being who pulls his weight should be the default behaviour which doesn’t require comment.

There wasn’t even the option of 6 weeks paternity leave back when I had DD, but DH pulled his weight as much as he could alongside working. He didn’t expect gold stars or ego stroking for it!

A lot of these articles can be summed up in 4 words.

"It's all about me"

Although if you are really against the wire with a word count, "entitled" is a good precis.

Longer paternity leave would be great… if it could be used at the end of maternity leave to delay need for childcare. If my husband could have taken the two weeks he got post-birth to support me then 12 weeks when I went back to work that would have been an amazing support.

I don't mind ironing. What I hate is getting the iron and board out, my dream is to have a house with enough room to keep the ironing board up all the time!

I think the writer was aiming at humour? But it doesn't land well as I imagine the majority of mothers would prefer their partners to be around for as long as possible after birth. I coped just fine but I felt so alone. I would have loved dh to have been there just to provide some company during the first few months.

I didn’t say I didn’t want my husband to have time off. I said that paternity leave had value. I just reject the statement that women don’t need a year to recover from having a baby, and I don’t agree that maternity leave is all about ‘bonding with the baby’ or learning how to change a nappy. Paternity leave and maternity leave are necessary and beneficial for some of the same but also different reasons and this idea that one can replace the other or ‘if women have X amount of time then why shouldn’t men have the same’ is unhelpful.

It always amazes (and worries) me that so many women on here have so much to moan about regarding their husbands/partners. No-one seems to praise their man, it’s all ‘he’s hopeless, doesn’t pull his weight, hangs around the house all day’ and the like.
Why on earth did these women marry in the first place? I just can’t get my head around the fact that so many women are so miserable.
I find it so unfair that my husband, who was amazing (yes, he had faults like we all do) has died and I get so resentful of these women who have still got their men but just moan about them. Be careful what you wish for and stop being so judgemental and mean. I wonder how many of you married for love, not gain? Not many, I bet!

Yes, exactly this.

I very rarely iron, most clothes are shaped before being hung on the line or folded carefully whilst warm from the tumble dryer. I buy non iron shirts for school uniform which are shaped and hung on hangers to dry. I only have a few linen items this doesn’t work for. I stopped ironing everything years ago 😁

That specific man is misusing paternity leave, she’s spelled it out herself that he’s treating it as a staycation/sabbatical.

apart from the initial 6 weeks, wouldn’t it be more sensible to have an additional parental leave allowance which can be split between the parents? Mum off, then dad off, or half time each, though obviously depends on workplaces being able to accommodate more flexible working. But if men were expected to properly share parental responsibility more workplaces would work out how to do this. It’d help overcome ingrained structural sexism.

‘I don’t own a dryer’
FFS! Give me strength!

I think it’s very few women who aren’t recovered from the birth after even six months, let alone 12 (and I had a very difficult birth).

I don’t think it helps women to suggest we all need 12 months of recovery time after a baby before we can possibly consider re-engaging with normal life or work.

If you don’t want your husband to take more time off, that’s your choice as a family.

As it is, poor legal provision of paternity leave means families don’t have a choice to let the dad have a longer paternity leave most of the time.

I haven’t read much of the article because it was annoying me but why is she referring to ‘men’ when it’s specific to her husband. Maybe it’s just rage bait but it’s a really damaging narrative to push! Sadly there will be some who agree with this idea that men aren’t possibly wired to be of any use in a domestic setting or parenting their own small children.