Please don't give my husband more paternity leave.

Shared parental leave is not maternity or paternity leave, paternity leave doesn’t effect maternity leave or vice versa.

I mean it’s pretty obviously that shared leave is shared, but it’s an entirely separate statutory entitlement.

As per the original comment, no women aren’t being “asked” to give their leave to men.

If anything an increase in paternity leave allowance would most certainly reduce the number of people who take up SPL.

But this article is a response to the recent protests about lack of paternity leave - the campaigners aren’t arguing for shared parental leave/to take some of the maternity leave, they want an entirely separate longer leave regardless of what mum is doing.

most of the my stuff is linen - so really can’t not iron that. And the hanging bit - it’s just not straight enough for my liking 🤭. I think it’s just my OCD.

Except, in the UK at the moment, that literally is how shared parental leave works. It even specifically requires the woman to formally state she is ending her leave to allow her partner to take some.

Thats an excellent use of redundant ironing board.

I think you might want to cut people some slack… 😉 I think women are so used to be screwed over one way or the other that they just assume that changes will come at their expense… a bit of a light ptsd response if you will.

I agree that the word help needs to be eliminated of our vocabulary in this sense. I find myself using it and then correct myself - as my kids aren’t helping, my husband isn’t helping they are just contributing to the family unit. The way we speak matters and it’s important to challenge these preconceived ideas that somehow women are responsible for the household chores. No thank you. I have 2 boys and 1 girl and I will be damned if I raise my boys thinking that women should be responsible. And then my daughter is observing this behaviour and internally absorbing it as “normal”? No thank you

We did shared PL and as my DH is a teacher he then got the 2 month summer holiday. So in total he had almost 5 months with our son which was a fantastic time for them both.

No one is asking anyone to share their mat leave, paternity leave is not deducted from maternity leave 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Yes - I’m aware…🙄 I was intrigued to see how other people do it! I’m nosey and like to know different things… I wasn’t judging.

I have lots of dresses that need ironing. My husband does it all. I put all the laundry through the wash and hang it out, he takes it in, irons and puts it away. I think we're a good team and for that reason, I would really have welcomed more paternity leave. I felt quite lonely on maternity leave and looked forward to the weekends when we could have time as a family. That's why I wanted to have children with him - to be a family.

It's not that way for everyone, but I don't know how we challenge gendered expectations - like women being default childcarers and ironers - without normalising things like extended paternity leave.

Sure, but some women needing a whole year to recover to the point they’re able to work (<1%?) isn’t a reason to not support increased, better paid paternity leave for men.

I think if you are determined you don’t want to share your maternity leave at all with your DH, you then can’t really then moan about being the default parent and not having the same career opportunities etc.

Thats your choice, don’t object to policies which allow other women to make their own choices, through more equality in sharing the load of caring for young children.

I live in one of those countries where men take long periods of paternity leave. You're not suppose to overlap it except at the very beginning 🤦‍♀️What on earth would be the point in that?

Fathers take a couple of weeks after the birth to support mother and newborn in the immediate postpartum recovery period. Then they go back to work. Then when the mother goes back to work, the father goes on proper paternity leave.

This is a system with huge benefits. It stops mothers becoming the default parents as fathers need to learn to do it solo. They have that experience of being the main caregiver. Of course it's not exactly the same as it is frankly easier to look after a weaned 8 month old with an established nap schedule than it is to look after a chaotic newborn, but it helps A LOT.

It's brilliant for babies and fathers - and mothers too.

On the ironing front, Lenor Crease Release spray. Game changer.

I would not assume this for all women though. Everyone is different and I definitely needed the whole year to recover. I had multiple difficulties and to heal and then recover my stamina to go back to work it took the whole year and beyond. I’m probably not in the ‘average’ zone, more in the ‘weakest’ zone due to my various health issues. There is no way I’d share my Mat leave with my DH, happy for him to have his own though. But my kids are grown up so wasn’t a choice/decision for me anyway.

Our ironing board props up against the back door on a night. If anyone breaks in that way it will go with an almighty bang. No idea what happened to the iron...
I make a point of buying clothes that don't need ironing and can be smoothed out by hand after you put it on 😁

Another one without an iron 🤣 We used to have one... For hamma beads 🤣

God these right wingers really are obsessed with us giving all our lives over to employers for some reason. Always seems to be the same people who go on about how no one is working from home and we all need to go back 5 days a week to the offices they have portfolio investments in. Can't imagine why.

I hate the bit where she says she likes the “help with bath and bedtime”. It’s not help when it’s the dad, it’s called parenting. Perhaps if she saw him more as an equal than just “help” that might make things better.

All you non ironers, what about kids school stuff?
Anyway I've got wonderful dp who does ours😂
I hate, hate hate ironing, much rather clean 5 toilets to one bloody school shirt.

I do. As long as it's women taking 6-12 months leave and men 2 weeks, women will be penalised in the world of work. I want it to be just as "risky" to recruit a man as a woman, and that will have far-reaching positive consequences way beyond the individual.

Don´t have a dryer. I hang my clothes to dry and then fold them. Job done.

Yes - the world hasn’t yet come to an end because of this..

My husband had to go out and buy an iron because he wanted to print a picture for a T-Shirt and needed the iron to press the transfer on with! I haven't been near it once! 😄

Why are ironing boards so badly made? Why do they creak? Why do they have to have a separate cover? Why do they feel like they are going to collapse at a moments notice? Why do irons just not quite fit on them right? Why do the cords of irons get so tangled in a really strange way? Why is it so annoying when you have to refill the water bit?