Please don't give my husband more paternity leave.

Wow! Sounds like the author doesn't like her husband very much. I'm 34 weeks with DC2 and can't wait for 6 weeks off with my husband. It's not just that he's far from useless and does his fair share of housework and childcare, I actually genuinely enjoy his company. He's my best friend and we'll probably never get this chance to be off work this long together until retirement! We're just very similar too, on priorities and being productive, so that's another reason why we get along - similar energies.

Your husband doesn’t sound great at all to be honest. Maybe the people you think are ‘blind to their partner’s shortcomings’ just don’t have sex pests for husbands?

Oh DFOD

@Hedgehogbrown it isnt the cost! it is the ability to do the work!! the certification and the learning of all the legal forms required to be completed, some which will only differ by a mere sentence!!

Yes. But I think maternity leave is one of the biggest reasons that mothers and fathers are hardly ever equal parents, so that would likely be one of the consequences of equalising maternity and paternity leave.

To be honest it is a bit frustrating that what could be a really interesting conversation has so many messages about ironing that have nothing to do with paternity leave other than the original article mentions an ironing pile. Feels like there are two completely separate conversations going on.

Oh! Silly women, there they go again. Twittering
Good job you’re here to tell us all how inane we are.

In the UK statutory leave is repaid by the government.
If you can’t afford someone to be off for a few weeks it’s not really a workable business, any employee could be off sick at any time.

Your husband doesn’t sound great at all to be honest. Maybe the people you think are ‘blind to their partner’s shortcomings’ just don’t have sex pests for husbands?

Seems like a pretty strong incentive to avoid hiring women of children bearing age. It would be good if men were equally 'risky'.

Though where I live maternity/paternity leave is funded by the state, not individual employers, employers all know that any adult of either sex, within a certain age range, might take mat/pat leave at some point. No reason to lean towards hiring a man because he'll only be off for a few weeks if he becomes a dad.

@Hedgehogbrown many small businesses cant afford long paternity leave. they often cannot afford maternity leave either. we, in out office, would be unable to even get a temp in so any long term absence means I have to go in! A temp would not know the work!

I only iron if I am going to a wedding or a funeral.

Someone has to actually die for my iron to come out.

that’s good that you can do that. I have a lot of linen so can’t.

I only buy clothes that don’t crease. I refuse to waste my life ironing

I do agree with his. I think my husband as a huge bond with all our kids. Even just now as we are at the beach (we came without him) and they saw him walk up and their little faces lit up and swarmed him for a hug. But that’s because he’s involved. He’s present. He puts his phone down when they are talking to him. He puts them to bed and talks to them. Both my eldest boy and middle child (girl) tend to open up to him first if something is bothering them. That can only be achieved if they put in the effort. Whilst traditionally because women are the ones at home it feels like that bond is more natural. But kids do grow up. I for example was closer to my dad. Similar personalities and my dad gets me. So I think relationships change and evolve as well. It’s not just the well mum is mum it’s biological - yes there is an aspect to that when they are small but there is no guarantee that it will be taken into adulthood if we don’t adapt and listen to them.

Makes sense. I have a lot of linen so it does need ironing no way the creases just drop. And I just don’t like things that aren’t ironed for myself. Just a little quirk of mine. Some would call it ocd. But it’s just the way I like it.

yawn

I have someone who does our ironing at the moment. So no. But I have in the past yes. He can iron his own shirts and has done so - but when I did it it’s because I would rather do the ironing that make dinner or change the beds and he would rather do those things. So I don’t feel put out by ironing his clothes. He contributed in a different manner. Did other things. Our division of labour at home is very even (regarding to what’s left that it’s not contracted out) and frankly at the weekend he really does most of if not all of the parenting. I don’t have to chase him and ask for help. He’s clued in. The only thing he doesn’t do without prompting is changing the bin… which drives me bonkers but really it’s such a small thing - but I still argue with him sometimes when I’m snappy 🤦‍♀️

The only thing stopping men from having a proper bond with their kids which is as strong as a Mother's, is society

Well no thats not quite true, is it.

There's a very basic biological instinctive bond between & baby and their biological mother, which begins when they are in the womb. Its the pulse of your mothers heart from the inside, her movements and breathing cadence, the food she eats,. Her bond with the baby is forged in part by hormones, the permanent changes growing a baby makes to your body.

Because in the mid 1990s, the maternity leave allowance was 14 weeks.

My husband is the only one who irons, and that's because he has to wear formal shirts at work.
We all manage without and we don't even look scruffy!

*Nothankyov · Today 03:25

So none of you iron? Shirts, dresses - you all just get them out of the dryer and what? hang them in the closet and go out in them?*

I mainly choose fabrics and styles that don't need ironing. I don't buy any button down shirts. I have a lot of soft drapey jersey dresses, washed, shaken out and hung to dry they really do not require ironing.

never use a dryer. Hang on an airer or (in summer) outside then put in cupboard and wear