To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

My DH doesn't like chinese food so we just never ever get chinese takeaway. This is totally reasonable.

Is there any east-asian cuisine you do like? Indonesian curries? Thai?

He's being unreasonable in wanting you to be 'excited' about a takeaway cuisine you don't really care for.

I'd eat a pizza occasionally but it wouldn't excite me!

But she can just get a different takeaway, she's not stopping him from getting Chinese

I mean if you’re having a takeaway once a week anyway, I don’t think it would hurt for once ever 3 months to make that a Chinese - compromise!

Also Chinese food can have a lot flavour, so maybe reevaluate your order.

We don’t eat takeaway now because they are shit especially after Covid. When we did we would all get what we wanted from different venues. I don’t get the ‘it’s not the same’ argument. Tell him to grow up. If you don’t like Chinese takeaway he shouldn’t force you to eat it!

DH is like this with a Chinese, likes to ‘share the experience’. I don’t like Chinese, I can find something to eat but don’t enjoy, just find it really salty (and I love salt!).
So he’s just had to suck it up that I don’t get a Chinese as perfectly happy not wasting money on food I don’t like. Sometimes I’ll get a pizza or whatever but I now refuse. He’s gotten over it after a few mild discussions!

Sharing a discount code for WowzaBox, mentioned upthread. It is really very good! I'm a fan of regional Chinese food and it's a good enough alternative at half the price or less.

Veg options and sides on the current menu look great.

Fuck's sake it's meant to be a treat, not some ordeal you put yourself through to prove you love your partner. No, you don't need to try everything on the menu of every chinese takeaway in a 30-mile radius, or spend hours cooking your own chinese food, or go on holiday to china, before you are allowed to say you don't want chinese food. Tell him to grow the fuck up or better still, dump him because I would put money on it that he's shitty in other ways, too.

Tell him you do you and he does him.

This is so easily resolved……..you could both learn to cook 🤨

If your Chinese vegetable dishes are bland + boring - it is your order/takeaway/restaurant's problem.

Chinese food is way more vegetarian friendly than British food. There isn't that need to put meat in every dish like there is in the UK.

I would recommend trying different dishes, or a different restaurant. I'm 100% sure that I could take you to China with me, and take you to the many vegetarian restaurants and you would be blown away by the food.

So that would be the easiest solution. If you can find good Chinese food (and China has around 63 distinct regional cuisines - so I guarantee you haven't tried all that there is) then you and your husband can both be happy.

If not, then just do what every couple does. Compromise. Some of what you like, some of what he likes, some of what you both like. Some separate, some together. If you can't occasionally eat what he likes - its not great... and if he can't accept eating different orders because you want different things - its not great...

Yes!!! Clay pot aubergine sounds amazing but does not exist in my home town 😅

This sanctimonious response has made me want to order an extravagant mid-week takeaway.

To be honest this sounds a little bonkers to me. Why do you have to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese just because he likes it? Just get something different or don’t do takeaways. To me this is something that I’d not give a second thought and my DH would not be remotely fussed if I wanted something different to him. He’d just want me to eat what I like.
I think that’s the thing to reflect on. Does your partner behave like this about other things? Why is this such a big deal?

I'd insist on trying different restaurants at the very least. Some do really nice deepfried beancurd in salt/pepper or sauces. Many don't. Some there will be amazing veg satays. Others might put some thai dishes on the menu. But you do need to shop around.

Would Thai food suit both of you?

If he eats different things for you then it shouldn't be that difficult to return the favour really. Chinese takeaway always seems to be over salted and quite one dimensional.

Good Chinese food is expensive so I'd cut down on the takeaway and eat out for this one.

wtf?! He wants you to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese?! Bizarre! Me and my DH just go into whichever takeaway we want, so he might get Indian, on the same row, there’s a chippy, a Chinese, a pizza place. Makes sod all difference.

Have you tried Singapore noodles? They have a bit of spice to them that you might like.

You'll never be excited about food you don't like. It's pretty obvious really!

You're not stopping him from ordering his favourite food. You eating other foods should not impact on his enjoyment.

If you banned him from ordering it in, he'd have a point.

Is he awkward about anything else or just this specific (non) issue?

@Watermoves , I find the 'vegetarian ' dishes on the menu of my local Chinese are, as you describe, like dishwater. The only vegetarian thing I like is the curry, which is a lovely gingery sauce. Otherwise I ask for mix veg in satay sauce, which is not on the menu, but no problem for them to do.

Cancel the cheque chicken

Is he the same about other things in your lives?

Why can’t Chinese be something he does with his friends?

Could you ever try a good Chinese restaurant? Might be a different experience. Sounds like your local takeaway is bog standard boring.

And you literally sat and trawled through the thread in order to count up how many people had made that comment so you could tell them all off. GAL?

There’s loads of veggie stuff from a Chinese. Salt and pepper tofu & salt and pepper chips certainly don’t taste like dishwater