To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

Do you think single people never have takeaways? Why can’t he just order more than he needs for one meal and eat the rest the next day, or the day after? That’s what I do!

Okay, so for OP to order a separate takeaway means a separate delivery fee. But it’s what, two or three quid? Surely better to “waste” £3 than to waste £20 worth of Chinese takeaway because the OP isn’t enjoying it?

This isn’t about money. This is about him being a manchild and stamping his feet because he’s decided “it’s not the saaaaaamme!” if they don’t both have a Chinese. He wants his own way, and sod it if that means making his wife miserable.

Remember never to go on holiday to China. It’s Chinese food for breakfast, dinner, and tea..

For a lot of people it's a social and cultural thing to share food. I think for some people it's also just what they are used to - its a shared experience. For me it was normal growing up - at dinner time we all ate together and we all at the same thing. Some days one of us liked the food more that the others, but generally it evened out.

it come to a head tonight as he wanted a Chinese take away and I didn’t fancy it but suggested I would get something else. He said it’s not the same eating a takeaway alone. I kinda get that, but I would have got myself an Indian. (We would be eating at the table together just different food)

I’m always baffled by comments like this. What on earth does he think single people do?

I agree with him that it is much nicer to share a takeaway like Chinese or Indian. You get to try a wider range of different dishes. I prefer a takeaway with more than 2 people really. If you strongly disliked it, then obviously you shouldn't be made to eat it. But I think that if you just find it a bit dull and prefer others, but he really likes it, then you should include it in your mix of takeaways (you seem to have quite a lot!) from time to time. Just less often than others. There may well be other takeaways that he likes less, but he continues to order them because you really like them.

That's how it would work in our house anyway.

I am assuming he isn’t eating things he doesn’t like to fit in with op. He is just choosing what he does enjoy.

op he is being ridiculous! I can not stand Indian. I wouldn’t touch it. I order something else entirely or buy sushi.

It sounds like he has a point, though.

He regularly compromises what he eats because of your food preferences, is it really that unreasonable for him to expect you to compromise just occasionally to meet his food preferences?

In our family, we give and take for those we love. One persons preferences don't always dominate, we all get to choose the takeaway/meal plan etc from time to time. And we're all happy to sometimes eat something that's not our favourite, as we recognise that another time we get to eat our favorites, which may not be someone else's,

But then we generally prioritise eating together as a family and sharing food. It's a very important social thing for us.

Obviously, no one is expected to eat something they literally cannot stomach, but we expect everyone to eat "not their favourite" with good grace from time to time.

He’s being a dick, especially for whining about his chicken balls when nothing was preventing him from ordering Chinese.

Frankly if you are doing most of the cooking, on the one night you don’t cook you should be able to enjoy the meal.

he just likes the feeling of us both ordering and eating it together

This is weird. It's hardly a special bonding experience. I could just about understand going for a romantic restaurant meal or even cooking together but getting the same takeaway???

YANBU for saying you "don't like Chinese food" given the vast range and variety of Chinese food, including vegetarian, there is. But your prerogative obviously.

Your partner is BVU (and really really weird) to think his enjoyment of a takeaway depends on you enjoying it too. I would be happy if my partner didn't like what I was ordering as there would be more for me. And more to the point it's just weird to insist another adult eats a food they don't want to eat.

YANBU

Why would Person B want to force Person A to eat food they don't like, just because it's Person B's favourite food? Person A is not preventing Person B from eating that food, they just choose not to share it.

Personally I would happy to eat my favourite food while a companion ate something else. It would be off putting to see them picking at food they disliked to keep me happy.

Ultimately OP you shouldn't have to eat Chinese food just because your partner wants to. Not everyone likes the same thing and that's okay, and takeaways are too expensive to 'waste' on food you don't like.

But if you like Indian food, maybe Indo-Chinese would be a good "compromise"? Plenty more vegetarian options and guaranteed it won't be bland! That way your partner feels like you're "having the same thing" since it's so important to him, but you get to have the flavours you enjoy...

Of course you shouldn’t have to eat a meal you don’t like, just do your parter can have the experience of ‘sharing’ his takeaway. How utterly ridiculous. Tell him to piss off.

That menu looks delicious.

wow....my late husband and I ate very different diets and we just ate what we wanted.

My DH likes chinese food but I don't. Tried many over the years and not liked any of them. I am veggie and hate tofu and that is what chinese restaurants use but even their dishes with just vegetables are horrible.

If we get a takeaway (rarely) we get indian usually as we both like that but occasionally DH will get a chinese and I just make myself something

Why would a couple not do this if they like to eat different things?

TBH, it's just sounds like you had a selfish partner. I have always been a vegetarian but I've been with my meat-loving DH for 18 years and it's never been an issue, it barely comes up. Meals are easily adaptable and I am happy to cook meat for him, just not eat it.

I do think that people are getting sidetracked on here by the kind of food it is (I mean like getting sidetracked NEVER EVER happens on MN) Isn't the thing is that its weird for a partner to want the OP to eat the same as him and wanting her to be excited by eating something she doesn't want?

Chinese food is my absolute favourite takeaway. My husband doesn’t mind it but it would not be his first choice. My son doesn’t like it at all. We have a Chinese takeaway maybe twice a year and both of them suck it up for me as they know it’s my favourite. I guess it depends how often you are having to compromise and eat Chinese food. Also, I’ve never heard it called bland and boring - you maybe need to try some alternative dishes.

I get the "sometimes its easier" thing but why is it nice to all eat the same thing?

He's being really weird. If you're eating at the table together then you are absolutely sharing the takeaway experience. As for 'He said he wants me to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese', he needs to get over it.

That's what she suggested to him that they do, but he thinks they need to be both eating Chinese.

BTW this is what me and DH do on the absolute rare occasion we get a takeaway, no one delivers to us. So if we get one it's on route home from somewhere he'll get the chipper and I'll have 'Chinese' I have the '' because it is ran by Malaysians and I never order anything Chinese!