To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

Not necessary to run down any cuisine. Chinese food is flavoursome and healthy, not slimy and smelly. Same with indian. The issue is OP's BF insisting on her joining him for a chinese - it is up to her, he cannot force it. At the same time, she should return the courtesy and not insist that he refrain from Chinese food.

That's a matter of perception. There are many chinese dishes which smell and a taiwanese favourite is Smelly Tofu. Btw many western dishes smell too and smell is perhaps the most important component in food tasting. I really hate the stupidity and snobbishness in decrying the smell of other cuisines. Have a word with yourself.

Nobody, particularly not the OP, is suggesting they don't eat together. Just that they don't have to eat exactly the same thing.

If you go out to a restaurant and order the fillet steak, would you complain about not sharing a meal if your partner chooses the trout?

Given it’s possible for you to both have a takeaway at the same time - I mean why does it have to be Chinese - why doesn’t he go the whole hog insist it’s the same meal ? If you don’t like something it’s a waste of money to buy it

Probably by buying a takeaway to himself!

I’ve still yet to see a decent explanation of why he needs the OP to have the Chinese too. Why he can’t just do the very thing she suggested in her OP - he orders what he wants, she orders what she wants.

I have read the OP

But you’ve studiously ignored this part of it:

Therefore we often have Indian, Mexican, pizza etc if we have a takeaway all of which he also really likes’

You’re trying to make it sound like having one of several other options he really likes is a like for like comparison to the OP having something she really doesn’t. It isn’t.

I don’t see how getting a Chinese once in a while is such a big issue for the OP. Suck it up and get a plain chow Mein and chips or something, keep your partner happy and stop being so selfish.

Because it isn’t necessary. OP’s husband can have his Chinese - OP just won’t be sharing it with him. But for some reason this isn’t good enough for him.

Where do we draw the line in making someone do something they don't want to do with their body for the sake of someone else's desires?

Tofu with black bean and green pepper and egg fried rice would be my recommendation

My DH won’t eat Chinese, so I only eat it very occasionally with others (or if he’s out, by myself which is heavenly)

I don’t think he’s expecting the OP to start clapping, jumping up and down and showering him in confetti when he mentions a Chinese. He probably just wants her to not roll her eyes and moan and groan about how much she doesn’t like it, the one time in 6 months he asks for it. It’s not a lot do ask for your partner to just say ‘okay, we’ll have a Chinese tonight’.

YANBU I'm a vegetarian and have never liked Chinese, my heart sinks if it's mentioned as an option. I've been to loads of different places, but I don't like the sauces, I don't like spicy food generally and I find Chinese sauces slimey. If we have it I end up with either chowmein or egg fried rice, which is a bit dull. I'm not mega keen on tofu and most offerings are tofu, spicy or slimey. I also don't cook meat for my DH, I don't know how to cook it and the smell makes me feel sick, he's very welcome to cook it for himself.
Also I don't think the opposite to bland is spicy.

How fucking weird and needy is he?!

Have you considered a career in the greeting card/wall decal industry?

No one is ignoring the “Bonds created through food across the globe from the beginning of time” angle. They’re acknowledging that it’s only a lovely bonding shared experience if both parties enjoy it. You’d have to have had a triple irony bypass to say “But eating the same foods together is a lovely shared experience! So who cares if one of the people sharing it hates it?”

All those saying why can’t he just have his own thing seem to be actively ignoring the fact that across the globe, since the earliest times sharing food and meals has been a way of building relationships, communities and fostering a sense of togetherness.

From the day to day; to big occasions, societies everywhere recognise that sharing food creates bonds. And yet here people are saying, “I don’t understand why you would want to eat together?”. He wants to do it because that’s what humans do.

90% of the time he is having the vegetarian food the OP cooks at home, then he is having Indian or Thai or Italian takeaways as her preference. Once in a blue moon he wants his preferred option of a Chinese, and he values a shared experience. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

I would also say dating over the years there have been many dishes and cuisines I thought wouldn’t be my bag, but trying them with new people- exploring different areas of the menu, I have uncovered some real delights.

I have read the OP:

‘My partners favourite take away is Chinese. I’m not keen, I’m vegetarian (raised this way) and just find its bland and boring. I have eaten Chinese but I don’t really like it.
Therefore we often have Indian, Mexican, pizza etc if we have a takeaway all of which he also really likes’

AKA the OP doesn’t really like Chinese so the majority of the time her partner ends up eating what she wants to keep her happy. And then she also does most of the cooking as she’s a veggie (so again wants to make sure she gets to eat what she wants) so the poor guy is always eating her food preferences and the one thing he wants to eat every blue moon as it’s his favourite, she gets on her high horse, probably chews his ears off about how much she doesn’t like it and comes on Mumsnet to bitch.

I don’t see how getting a Chinese once in a while is such a big issue for the OP. Suck it up and get a plain chow Mein and chips or something, keep your partner happy and stop being so selfish.

Find a good quality Chinese restaurant- it makes a lot of difference.

Mind you, I have never eaten a really good quality'Indian' meal - so maybe never been introduced to the subtleties of that cuisine.

just the usual offerings from the local Bangladeshi places which to me look taste and small repulsive.

I would manage one of those tandoori dishes if my partner really wanted an Indian but the stench from someone else's curry would really put me off.

At least Chinese food doesn't stink!

Let's presume he would find a way to eat if she moved out or went on holiday.

Well it’s her preference. If she doesn’t like the taste, she doesn’t like the taste.

For us sitting down for a takeaway together is a thing we do as a couple. Complicating that with ordering from different place and food arriving at different times, meaning someone's food needs taking out of containers and left heating in the oven (drying out) so we could actually eat together would irritate me and take some of the pleasure from getting a takeaway away.

But knowing your partner hated the meal wouldn’t take the pleasure away?

I think a compromise is fair and you should just have a Chinese every so often. How would you feel if he refused or kicked up a fuss everytime you wanted to eat an Indian/your favourite takeaway?

Well given that the OP said in her opening post that she was happy to order Indian while he ordered Chinese, surely she’d be equally happy to do the same in reverse? The answer was there in plain sight if you’d just read the OP.

Or you could just choose what you want in the first place?

Think I’m one of the minority on here but I am siding more with your partner on this one. You’ve said Chinese is his favourite and yet he hardly ever has it because you don’t like it which is respectful of your wishes. You also do most of the cooking and obviously only cook vegetarian food.

I think a compromise is fair and you should just have a Chinese every so often. How would you feel if he refused or kicked up a fuss everytime you wanted to eat an Indian/your favourite takeaway?

Part of being in a relationship is about compromising with each other. Yes he could get a Chinese and you could get a Indian, yes he could cook his own meat at dinner time, but I wouldn’t want to eat or cook a completely separate meal from my husband every single night.

My best friend is vegetarian but she still cooks meat for her husband in a seperate pan, she just doesn’t put it on her plate.

Do they do curries, OP?

i have mushroom curry from our Chinese and it’s delicious,

We don't know how the housework is shared out. If the partner could cook but doesn't, its one thing, if the way that the househild runs means that the partner realistically couldn't cook often that's different....and all vegetarians aren't the same. Some will cook meat/fish for others but not eat it themselves, some can't bring themselves to touch it and refuse to cook it. I could imagine too that "vegetarian food with meat added" would not be the same as a meat/fish meal.