Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable

367 replies

Watermoves · 24/06/2025 21:44

My partners favourite take away is Chinese. I’m not keen, I’m vegetarian (raised this way) and just find its bland and boring. I have eaten Chinese but I don’t really like it.

Therefore we often have Indian, Mexican, pizza etc if we have a takeaway all of which he also really likes. I often offer to get him a Chinese or suggest he gets one if I’m working late etc but he always says no.

it come to a head tonight as he wanted a Chinese take away and I didn’t fancy it but suggested I would get something else. He said it’s not the same eating a takeaway alone. I kinda get that, but I would have got myself an Indian. (We would be eating at the table together just different food)

He basically said I should suck it up and eat the Chinese food every so often for him? My rationale is that I shouldn’t have to eat what I don’t want or like?

who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
AltitudeCheck · 24/06/2025 22:16

I'm with you OP. Of all the takeaways near me the Chinese is my least favourite. I've had amazing (vegetarian) Chinese food in other towns and cities so it's not the cuisine, it's the restaurant, everything I've tried comes in a gloopy grey sauce and tastes bland. I'd rather make myself beans on toast!

user101101 · 24/06/2025 22:16

I love most food but if i don’t like something I’m not going to eat it so seems a waste of money! Try cooking your own Chinese food or buying from a different restaurant shouldn’t be hard to find something you like really

mrpenny · 24/06/2025 22:16

CaptainFuture · 24/06/2025 22:01

Look for better takeaway! Menu from local Chinese... not huge.. but good!

It does look good but mostly Japanese/ Korean??

BlueyNeedsToFuckOff · 24/06/2025 22:15

miraxxx · 24/06/2025 22:10

That is not a typical chinese takeaway menu.

And most of the dishes don’t seem to be Chinese!

Lmnop22 · 24/06/2025 22:14

I think it’s harsh for him to never get his favourite because its not your favourite.

Plus getting two takeaways means often you’re paying supplements for not ordering enough and two delivery fees and two different arrival times etc so you will likely spend extra and eat at different times.

So I think that sometimes you should eat Chinese food and other times you can order from elsewhere. The fairest way!

Nackyposter · 24/06/2025 22:14

LadyLucyWells · 24/06/2025 21:48

Order chicken and chips from the Chinese for you?

She’s a vegetarian

Nackyposter · 24/06/2025 22:13

CreteBound · 24/06/2025 21:46

How many takeaways do you have?

Spectacularly misses the point 👏👏

Tagyoureit · 24/06/2025 22:12

What are you ordering when you do order a Chinese if you don't mind me asking?

A plain chow mein is just the best thing ever!

But I really cant see how him having chinese and you having Indian or pizza is such a big deal, you're both having a takeaway which you'll both enjoy.

honeyfox · 24/06/2025 22:12

miraxxx · 24/06/2025 22:10

That is not a typical chinese takeaway menu.

That's closer to a Japanese menu.

Cocorico22 · 24/06/2025 22:11

As if there are no veggie dishes on the menu. Have the ma po tofu!! Far from bland, ya heathen 🤣

honeyfox · 24/06/2025 22:10

I can't be excited about chinese food either, not in the takeaways close to me.

miraxxx · 24/06/2025 22:10

CaptainFuture · 24/06/2025 22:01

Look for better takeaway! Menu from local Chinese... not huge.. but good!

That is not a typical chinese takeaway menu.

lovemycbf · 24/06/2025 22:08

LadyLucyWells · 24/06/2025 21:48

Order chicken and chips from the Chinese for you?

She has already said she’s a vegetarian

ByMerryTiger · 24/06/2025 22:08

Watermoves · 24/06/2025 22:06

I think I just genuinely don’t mind if we eat different things we often do for normal dinner. He said he wants me to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese - I just can’t

He wants you to be ‘excited’ about food you don’t like? In what way is that reasonable? Have you asked him this?

Presumably there are foods he actively dislikes? Would he be able to be excited about them if you required it?

Idontjetwashthefucker · 24/06/2025 22:08

Watermoves · 24/06/2025 22:06

I think I just genuinely don’t mind if we eat different things we often do for normal dinner. He said he wants me to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese - I just can’t

Weird, can't say I've ever been excited to eat a takeaway lol

oviraptor21 · 24/06/2025 22:07

I'm with you OP. It's quite hard to find a Chinese that does a decent range of tasty vegetarian dishes. I've opted out of our 'best' local Chinese takeaway for that reason.

Tessiebear2023 · 24/06/2025 22:06

peidhDassffeks · 24/06/2025 22:03

He’s being unfair and precious; we get different stuff if we don’t fancy the same thing and I wouldn’t expect DH to eat the same thing if he didn’t enjoy it

Yeah, I couldn't enjoy my favourite meal if I knew the other person wasn't enjoying theirs (and I forced them into it).

miraxxx · 24/06/2025 22:06

There is actually an elaborate Chinese buddhist vegetarian cuisine tradition . In East Asia, you can easily find wholly vegetarian Chinese restaurants fyi. Hw, western chinese takeaways do not do have much vegetarian options apart from stirfried vegetables and maybe the odd soup. You'd still have to be careful with the stocks and sauces which may not be vegetarian. If you are vegetarian, your options from the chinese takeaway are going to be very limited. Your partner is being unreasonable.

Watermoves · 24/06/2025 22:06

I think I just genuinely don’t mind if we eat different things we often do for normal dinner. He said he wants me to be ‘excited’ to have a Chinese - I just can’t

OP posts:
tripleginandtonic · 24/06/2025 22:04

LadyLucyWells · 24/06/2025 21:48

Order chicken and chips from the Chinese for you?

She's a veggie

peidhDassffeks · 24/06/2025 22:03

He’s being unfair and precious; we get different stuff if we don’t fancy the same thing and I wouldn’t expect DH to eat the same thing if he didn’t enjoy it

Tessiebear2023 · 24/06/2025 22:02

Watermoves · 24/06/2025 21:53

I have tried several things from the menu, just all kinda tastes like dishwater to me. Might be just rubbish Chinese’s lol but I just can’t get excited about it! I love Thai and Japanese, but no where like that round here to deliver

So it's not the noodles or the rice that you find boring, it's the Chinese sauces?

It could be that your local is just a really bad Chinese, but regardless of that, your bf should be more sympathetic. It's not as if you haven't tried, you just don't like it, and no one should be making you eat it (or making you feel bad about not eating it).

Idontjetwashthefucker · 24/06/2025 22:02

InfoSecInTheCity · 24/06/2025 21:57

I actually agree with him, he compromises every time for your benefit by going for options you like over the option he would prefer. It isn’t unreasonable for him to ask you to compromise every now and then too. There are lots of vegetarian options on most Chinese menus.

No-one is stopping him having the food he wants, he on the other hand is trying to guilt OP into eating what she doesn't want. Why do they have to have the same?

I don't like Indian food, my ex loved it, he'd have that and I'd have Chinese/pizza/Korean

Confusedbylifeingeneral · 24/06/2025 22:01

LadyLucyWells · 24/06/2025 21:48

Order chicken and chips from the Chinese for you?

She is veggie!

CaptainFuture · 24/06/2025 22:01

Look for better takeaway! Menu from local Chinese... not huge.. but good!

To not want to eat Chinese - help me to see if I’m being unreasonable