To ask if you've thrown one of your teenagers out? How did it turn out?

What did her Dad do during this?

A friend kicked her 16 year old son out as he was taking drugs, dealers coming round etc and it was unsafe for his younger siblings. She was divorced and was able, with some difficulty, to persuade his Dad to take him in. Her plan if that hadn't worked was to send him to stay with his grandparents, who lived in a village, so away from his friends and dealer.

His Dad was a very laissez faire parent, so he probably kept up his bad habits there, but is doing some bar work, so he has some structure.

Another friend paid her 18 year old daughter's rent in a house share while she was in college near their home, to avoid the constant rows at home. The daughter was motivated to continue in college so her mum would keep paying her rent. It worked out OK in the end, and they have a reasonable relationship, and the daughter is close to her younger siblings.

If a kid is just 16, I think family is the main
option. If there is violence against parents or siblings, then I think it should be possible to get social services to house them, though it'll be a major fight to get them to take responsibility, but if a young person is homeless, they do have a duty of care

@Wouldthisbotheryoutoo I agree , it has to be a last resort.
However, these situations don't always have a drug, debt and/or sex work angle.
I'd be interested to hear your opinion re what happened in my family in my post above.
It's not black and white. Allowing a teenager who is physically and mentally abusive to other siblings ro remain in the family home could likely be seen by social services as 'failure to protect.' An abusive presence in the home is not acceptable regardless of gender, sex and age.

@House0fBamboo What? 😱 Did they get reported? Surely even decades ago leaving a 13-year-old would’ve been considered abandonment.

People always say that, chciken them out I wouldn’t stand for it
equivalent to LTB

but if you don’t want them to go fur th er adrift into drugs debt maybe even sex work
I really think that has to be a last resort

I was thrown out at 18 and I went though a lot of bad stuff as I had lived a sheltered life and I wasn’t ready for the big bad world.

On the plus side I did grow up and learned to manage my finances.

I harbour a lot of hatred towards my parents and brother for doing this, especially as my brother was able to live at home rent free until he was 30 and buy multiple properties.

Now that I am a parent myself I just can’t imagine doing this to any of my children as I know the bad feeling that comes with it and I never want them to experience what I did.

Best of luck to you xx

13 year old brother. He doesn't speak to them now.

Dp's parents went the other way and moved out leaving him to run a house and pay bills at 16 whilst looking after his

I forced my eldest to leave after she began to physically abuse her much younger siblings Prior fo this she abused me for years. Noone ever talks about this dynamic. I felt as though I was living with an abusive partner thst I could not ask to leave/leave.
She was suffering from mental heslth issues but I had to protect the other children.
She went to live with family members.
I continued to see her and went with her to her weekly CAMHS sessions.
6 years later and she will graduate with a first class honours degree in two weeks. She came home in her last year of sixth form. Things weren't great but they were a hell of a lot better than before. No aggressive behaviour, violence or threats.
Since she went to university she has grown up, reflected honestly on the past and apologised for her prior actions. I told her I'd already forgiven her years ago.
She is self aware and takes responsibility for her actions.
Our relationship is great and I am thankful every day that we are in the place we are today.
I don't think.anyone understands this type of situation unless they've lived the nightmare of walking on eggshells around your child and hiding upstairs in a barricaded room with two little ones pretending we are having a disco to drow out the screaming., shouting and smashing noises.
I made a choice in a very difficult situation and I was judged harshly by some.
I was/am a single parent and I believe this wouldnt have got to the point it did if I'd had another adult in.the house.

It's near on impossible to throw them out unless you don't care that they end up on the street or another equally precarious situation.

Gone are the days of cheap accommodation they can afford. I was asked to leave my parents at 18, it was fine I moved into a bedsit. Now I would struggle to pay for that if me and dh split and I have an alright job.

A friend of mine got chucked out by her parents at 18. They were very religious and she didn't want to obey the rules. IIRC she had her A-levels - got into university - I think at one point she lived in a commune.
She ended up with a doctorate specialising in speech therapy/other forms of communication for very disabled people.