To choose convenience over facilities for 3 month old starting nursery?

3 months?! Please don’t do that. Why did you even have a baby if you are going to put them in nursery at that age, they need to be with their parent (either one) at such a young age. Neither option of nursery will be good for them.

Not sure the judgement re putting a 3 month old in childcare is necessary. Presumably everyone who thinks it is inappropriate are in the luxurious position of being able to afford plenty of time off work.

I’d go with option 1 OP, particularly if it’s temporary. Babies don’t need facilities or curriculum - they need nice, caring, well trained/experienced people to look after them. And don’t make life harder for yourself than it needs to be both in terms of finance and time. Working when you have small children is hard enough as it is!

True but that doesn't mean it's a good thing.

I'd go with 1. Unless you have a child with SEND the curriculum won't matter. Caring staff with an interest in playing with the children is all you need.
I mention SEND as if your child does need extra support they will be better with staff who have had extra training and can get the ball rolling with involving other services and will be able to adapt to the child's individual needs. That is a bridge you can cross when it comes to it though and you could look at moving them when they get older if they need more specialised support.

I didn’t send my kids to nursery at 3 months, youngest was 10 months but we went with premium that was a 20min each way commute from home and the opposite direction to work. In my case the staff, quality of premises, food offered and facilities were all better.

Option 1. Sounds similar to the choice I made and have no regrets. The converted house thing makes for a homely cosy atmosphere and the short journey makes life so much easier if you or DC is tired or even if (when) you get the call to come and bring them home because they have vommed everywhere or have red eyes or any of the other reasons that can and do happen with little ones.

I’m very pro nursery but think 3 months is very young for that setting and you may be better looking at a part time nanny or childminder. At my DCs nursery they rarely have any under 9 months and they are all in a 0-2 room.

Also, in-house care DH is against. He finds it weird as he spends some time working at home and doesn’t want a third party in the house which I understand.

This is the DH who thinks it's okay to leave a weeks' old baby to cry, isn't it?

I wouldn't pay any attention to his opinion.

Doesn't make it right

Having been recently bitten by this - do they both have availability? It might make the choice for you tbh!

My youngest was with childminder from about 5 months and it felt so safe. She carried her a lot in her arms..would let her sleep whenever she needed . It was like a family environment with other kids etc

No parent of a toddler can give that either

@safetyfirst1 I went for the smaller, closer nursery over the further away one with bigger better facilities. It had a family feel, he wasn't away in a baby room, it was more like a multi-generational household but without being beholden to school runs etc as he would have been at a childminder. He also gets plenty of social interaction and I dont care what anyone says, he needs it.

We also discounted a nanny because we didn't have space for my child with the nanny and my husband who was ill/recovering at home.

Only now that my son is nearly 18 months do I start to notice the gap between his place and the other nursery's facilities.

Mine started 2 days/week at 9 months and 4 days at 13 months. I think I'd find 4 days away at 3 months really hard but I assume you feel it's necessary.

Pretty unusual in this country. I worked in a baby room about 15 years ago and we had a 3 month old and it was very unusual then.
Luckily he was a very chill baby so just sat in a baby bouncer and 'watched' as we didn't have the time to do much with him beyond feeding and changing.

Will it be in close contact with older children OP? I would worry a lot about it getting sick, it won't have got a lot of vaccinations by 3 months.

From the nurseries I've worked in and seen I couldn't leave a 3 month old in one either. They need to form secure attachment to a primary caregiver.

I say no 1. The driving will be frustrating.

This is a very good point.

Questions not being asked are

How old is the baby now?
what country are you in?

The most important thing for me when I was considering a nursery for my baby was safety. I had to find a nursery I knew they would be safe. Looked at first aid training and how many staff were fully trained, where were nappy changes being carried out, sleeping arrangements ect- I’d go with where you feel baby will be most looked after. Cosmetics ect don’t really matter to a child. The nursery I picked use to put small babies in front carriers too so they had plenty of fresh air and made sure they stuck (as close to possible) to mums routine. Where did you have the better feeling from?

I'd go for the nearest to home. If DC is poorly and you have to collect them you want the most convenient.

Whole point of nursery is convenience so why would you add complications of a commute?

Side-stepping the discussion on whether any nursery is the right option.... I think convenience beats facilities at this age IF (and only if) the quality of care is excellent. There's no learning "curriculum" as such at this age. It is really important the nursery has decent staff ratios and I'd want some personal recommendations on their baby care. Ideally you want a consistent key worker who will be in on the days/schedule your baby is in and a good idea of how much your baby will be held/interacting with the same care giver.

3 months is totally normal in many parts of the world, including some of our nearest neighbouring countries.

Let's do the OP the courtesy of assuming that there is a reason why she is returning to work after 3 months and that she doesn't need your judgement.

OP, I’m guessing you haven’t had the baby yet. 3 months is too early - could Dad not take some shared parental leave?

I mean it might be the threat of actual destitution…
having said that I think OP’s husband is being a twat here putting his own preferences first and a nanny would be a much better option if going back to work in unavoidable - as it is for a lot of self employed people in the real world…

Nursery at 6 months was the only option (other than quitting) when I had mine as that’s the only maternity we got then. In the USA 6 weeks is common. You have to do what you need to do

This is crazy logic. A Nanny will have your child 1on1, they will have 100% attention on your baby. Even if they occasionally check their phone, your baby will still get 95% of one persons time and attention.

At a Nursery your baby will have to share one Nursery Nurse with two other babies. So the best case scenario is that they get 33% of the attention of a childcarer. And that’s best case! In my experience - nursery workers are young, under qualified and more interested in chatting to each other than paying attention to the children (obviously not talking about all, I’ve also met some amazing ones, but they are an exception rather than the rule.)

I’ve worked in childcare for over 25 years and refused to send my own babies to nursery. I’ve never stepped foot in one that I would have been happy to send my own babies to. And I’ve been in dozens and dozens of nurseries as part of my work.

A nanny works in your own home and so you can keep an eye on them to make sure they are doing their duties properly. And frankly your baby’s needs should trump what makes your husband comfortable.