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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My neighbours have disappeared

108 replies

poppetandmog · 24/06/2025 17:35

This is really none of my business but it’s such an odd situation, I had to share. My garden backs on to two other houses. We don’t know these neighbours - they technically live around the corner from us on a different street but because of the way the houses are positioned and with our house being slightly elevated, we can see in to their gardens and to a lesser degree, in to their houses. One of the neighbours has 3 small boys (I’d guess ages 5-10) and we would often see them playing football all in the garden. We’d also see them coming and going to school/work etc as they tended to use their back door.

it suddenly occurred to me the other day that I hadn’t seen them in months. No cars on the driveway either. Being nosey, I checked to see if the house was for sale, thinking they’d moved somewhere else but it isn’t. I’m now kind of worried as it’s just really odd for a family to disappear, but as we don’t actually know them, i could be totally wrong. Should I report this to someone to check they’re okay? There’s probably a logical explanation but if something has happened to them, I’d feel terrible noticing and doing nothing. Thoughts?

OP posts:
TinyTempest · 24/06/2025 21:41

pottylolly · 24/06/2025 17:37

Just let the police know: they have ways to check if someone’s safe. They won’t, however, tell you either way.

Don't you think it would be better for the OP to knock on the immediate neighbours doors?

I mean it's probably the first question the police would ask.

butterflies898 · 24/06/2025 21:38

It’s such a shame that someone showing concern for their community has been met with snarky comments.

YenSon · 24/06/2025 21:31

There could be many reasons. Perhaps one of the parents has died, perhaps there has been domestic violence and the children are in safe housing with a parent, perhaps a job has taken them somewhere. If you want, you can let the police know.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 24/06/2025 21:29

Are you my neighbour? We’re on a trip to DH home country for a few months. I hope you don’t report us to the police.

Seriously if there are kids who attend school, school will know where they have gone and done something about it if it was worrying.

ConfusedSloth · 24/06/2025 21:29

Our neighbour disappeared last August. Just gone one day. About a month ago, someone came to clear out the house - he’s been in a car crash and had been in hospital since August, and sadly just passed.

It was very odd to experience.

overthehillsandverynear · 24/06/2025 21:28

It's such a British thing to think, 'better to mind my own business,' but it's nice to think of others, like you have. I'm sure nothing untoward will have happened, especially as it's a family, rather than a solitary person, but I'd be tempted to ask their immediate neighbour as others have suggested.

ModelDreamer · 24/06/2025 21:28

My adjoining neighbours are quiet, they don't let me know when theyre going away or ask for help with bins. They haven't been around for nearly 4 weeks now which is strange for them. I keep wondering whether they are OK. But remind myself their son would notify police if there was any issue, just i can stop worrying.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 24/06/2025 21:24

I realised I hadn’t seen one of my neighbours for a few months, but the husband was still coming and going as usual.

I then had a dream he had murdered her!

I mentioned it to the other neighbours and they’d actually moved into another house they owned. He was just coming back frequently to finish up working on the house before putting it up for sale.

SaturdayDream · 24/06/2025 21:19

My next door neighbours once upped and left one evening. No for sale signs etc and then new people moved in very quickly.

Then about a year later I did the same thing because it was nobody else’s business that I was moving.

Craftylemonduck · 24/06/2025 21:18

Just because it’s a new build doesn’t mean it’s the owner occupier. Every new housing estate has to have a percentage of social housing e.g Local Authority or Housing Association -
if they have got in to rent arrears they could have been served a notice quite quickly and been evicted.

JLou08 · 24/06/2025 21:14

I moved out of a rented house last year. I kept having a nosy to see how much it would go back up to let for as we never had a rent increase in 10 years and it was way below market value. It took 6 months for it to go up for sale. It could be a similar situation with your old neighbours.

DevonMum123 · 24/06/2025 21:14

I would ask their next door neighbours. Surely they would know. Whole family would not disappear without someone raising alarm.

BadWoIf · 24/06/2025 18:59

Can you see into the house at all, to see if its still furnished, dying houseplants etc?

amylou8 · 24/06/2025 18:57

Could be lots of reasons, especially if they rent the house. If they've got kids in school they'll be well on the 'radar' so highly unlikely anything untoward has gone one.

Marble10 · 24/06/2025 18:55

Walk past a few different times, particularly at night to see if any lights are on or curtains closed etc?
It is weird how we see our neighbours even ones we don’t interact with and still make up scenarios about their lives as if we know them

cannotbetooarsed · 24/06/2025 18:50

I would probably go and ask a neighbour. I think it’s refreshing to read that someone actually cares about other peoples wellbeing.

Lilyhatesjaz · 24/06/2025 18:47

There is a house who's garden backs on to ours which is rented. People often arrive and leave sometimes after a short time. I don't think you can assume a house is owned because it is a new build, they are low maintenance and easy to let.

GasPanic · 24/06/2025 18:47

There are near endless reasons why someone might move.

They might move for their job on a temporary basis.
They might have moved to live in and look after parents.
They might be in the process of divorce and putting the house up for sale.

DDivaStar · 24/06/2025 18:36

There's loads of reasons they could have gone. You know nothing about them.

DiscoDancingDoris · 24/06/2025 18:19

Have they taken their stuff with them?

Berryslacks · 24/06/2025 18:19

Maybe they have won the lottery? I lived in a new build. Next door was bought by a landlord and rented out from the get go. So most likely this family were renting from an investor who bought the property new. The family have probably moved on.

GRex · 24/06/2025 18:10

Ask their immediate neighbours. It won't hurt to report it, but most likely they just moved.

poppetandmog · 24/06/2025 17:59

Thanks everyone. I’m probably being silly and will just mind my business. I know they own the house as it’s a new build estate and we all moved in around the same time. But you’re right, I’m sure there’s a logical explanation. Thanks.

OP posts:
NoodleNuts · 24/06/2025 17:49

I've just moved house and my old house is empty and not yet up for sale, my neighbours probably wonder where I have gone. Hopefully they won't report me to the police!

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