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Original poster

To wear this bridesmaid dress when I’m not a bridesmaid?

137 replies

IcyBlonde15 · 24/06/2025 14:49

I was meant to be bridesmaid for a friend 2 years ago, long story short the wedding didn’t happen but I still have the dress I was supposed to wear. I was gutted I wouldn’t get wearing as I loved it. My brother is getting married this summer, and the bride asked me to be bridesmaid but I have chose to just be a guest based on having young children with me etc. I have been wondering about possibly wearing my bridesmaid dress for this occasion. Her wedding party are all in black so there’s no chance I will clash with them or be mistaken for a bridesmaid. Do you think I could wear this dress or is it just to bridesmaidy? Opinions welcome

To wear this bridesmaid dress when I’m not a bridesmaid?
To wear this bridesmaid dress when I’m not a bridesmaid?
OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 24/06/2025 15:20

I don't think it's very bridesmaidey from the front. As long as hair was done without an elaborate updo or obvious braid and you had a shawl then would be fine

PopThatBench · 24/06/2025 15:17

chatgptsbestmate · 24/06/2025 15:01

Gosh. I'd have to disagree. In my experience (last week) wedding guests wore very elaborate long dresses! And it was 'just' a village hall wedding. I felt quite underdressed in my maxi dress!

Show quote history

Oh my god really? Last time I went to a wedding was 2022 (I was MOH) to be fair so my info might be outdated 😂

paradisecircus · 24/06/2025 15:16

I think it's nice. It's not as if you're trying to muscle in on the actual bridesmaids or anything. I'm sure nobody will be that worried about what you wear.

rowenwren · 24/06/2025 15:14

The best person to ask is the Bride surely. Personally I think it’s a bridesmaid dress that doesn’t pass for a guest dress, but the Bride is the only person who can answer you really

randomchap · 24/06/2025 15:12

Talk to the bride perhaps? Her wedding so surely her opinion is the one that matters

AvidJadeShaker · 24/06/2025 15:11

It may look less bridesmaids if shortened, maybe to ballerina length.
It is lovely.

JoshLymanSwagger · 24/06/2025 15:09

Show her the dress. Not just a photo.
Let her decide.

BasiliskStare · 24/06/2025 15:06

crumblingschools · 24/06/2025 15:02

Anyway of removing the bow?

I'm pretty sure a decent alterations person could use part of the bow to make the band go all the way round the dress. We have a church at the end of our road and a lot of weddings have women in floor length dresses. If that is not going to be true of this wedding , then yes have it taken up a tad @IcyBlonde15

wandererofthekingdom · 24/06/2025 15:04

I think it depends on the wedding and how grand and dressy it is, and what the actual bridesmaids are wearing. If you're going to look more bridesmaidy than them I'd say no, and if its a casual wedding.
I think if its a very formal dressy wedding you'd get away with it. I'd investigate having it shortened though.

crumblingschools · 24/06/2025 15:04

Even if it is a bit bridesmaidy you were asked to be a bridesmaid, so not like you are turning up in a bridesmaid dress in protest in not being asked

crumblingschools · 24/06/2025 15:02

Anyway of removing the bow?

BasiliskStare · 24/06/2025 15:02

I am also in the lose the bow camp & if long dresses are going to be worn by many, do it - but I would check with bride. Without the bow I think it just looks like a posh frock - especially if the colour is completely different to the wedding party.

stopringingme · 24/06/2025 15:02

Can you get it shortened

middleagedandinarage · 24/06/2025 15:01

Could you get it taken up? I think if it was knee length or just above it would be fine. Otherwise I probably wouldn't tbh

chatgptsbestmate · 24/06/2025 15:01

PopThatBench · 24/06/2025 14:57

It’s very bridesmaidy. But as you were asked to be one, I’d ask SIL if she’d be okay with you wearing it.
It’s not a dress I’ve ever seen a “guest” wearing though.

Gosh. I'd have to disagree. In my experience (last week) wedding guests wore very elaborate long dresses! And it was 'just' a village hall wedding. I felt quite underdressed in my maxi dress!

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 24/06/2025 15:00

It is 100% a bridesmaid dress, I wouldn't wear that. Just opt for something typically guest ish instead and avoid the awkwardness that turning up in that would lead to.

BarnacleBeasley · 24/06/2025 15:00

I think you'd get away with the bow and not look like a bridesmaid if you got it shortened.

Crunchymum · 24/06/2025 15:00

BankHolidayMonday · 24/06/2025 14:56

I think it's unfair to ask the brides - what do you expect them to do? Even if they would mind, they won't tell you, you put them on the spot and dont' actually resolve anything.

Not many people would say "I would prefer you'd wear something else", no one does that, unless you are on full bridezilla mode.

Show quote history

It depends on the relationship of course but the OP says she was initially asked to be bridesmaid so I assume she has a decent enough relationship with her future SIL, she can ask.

OP "honest opinion, am I okay to wear this as a guest? No worries if not, happy to get a new dress"
SIL "Oh gosh no it's a lovely dress, feel free to wear it"

Simples!

BogRollBOGOF · 24/06/2025 14:58

As it's very different to what the bridal party are wearing, go for it. You're close family, it's nice to be dressed up.

Bridesmaids are usually styled differently to guests with things like flowers and hair styling, so there's another difference.

If it was going to blend more with the colour scheme and other bridesmaids that would be different.

chatgptsbestmate · 24/06/2025 14:58

DappledThings · 24/06/2025 14:54

I don't think it looks particularly bridesmaidy at all. Certainly not from the front, maybe the bow at the back but how much will people be staring at your back if you're not walking down the aisle?

I agree. It just looks like a long "normal" frock, to me. Its lovely btw, I'm not being critical, it just doesn't look bridesmaidy to me

dontcomeatme · 24/06/2025 14:57

Remove the bow though, it's awful x

AnchorWHAT · 24/06/2025 14:57

I think if the bow was removed you could if its a formal wedding and everyone is dressing up. Why not ask the bride her opinion.

PopThatBench · 24/06/2025 14:57

It’s very bridesmaidy. But as you were asked to be one, I’d ask SIL if she’d be okay with you wearing it.
It’s not a dress I’ve ever seen a “guest” wearing though.

dontcomeatme · 24/06/2025 14:56

If you hadn't of told the story behind the dress and just asked if it was appropriate to wear to your brothers formal wedding everyone would have raved about it being perfect.
I would wear it OP, a bridesmaid dress is just a dress 🤷🏻‍♀️ it's beautiful x

BankHolidayMonday · 24/06/2025 14:56

Crunchymum · 24/06/2025 14:54

Ask your future SIL. If her bridesmaids are all in black she may well be fine with your choice.

Edited

I think it's unfair to ask the brides - what do you expect them to do? Even if they would mind, they won't tell you, you put them on the spot and dont' actually resolve anything.

Not many people would say "I would prefer you'd wear something else", no one does that, unless you are on full bridezilla mode.

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