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Original poster

To wear this bridesmaid dress when I’m not a bridesmaid?

137 replies

IcyBlonde15 · 24/06/2025 14:49

I was meant to be bridesmaid for a friend 2 years ago, long story short the wedding didn’t happen but I still have the dress I was supposed to wear. I was gutted I wouldn’t get wearing as I loved it. My brother is getting married this summer, and the bride asked me to be bridesmaid but I have chose to just be a guest based on having young children with me etc. I have been wondering about possibly wearing my bridesmaid dress for this occasion. Her wedding party are all in black so there’s no chance I will clash with them or be mistaken for a bridesmaid. Do you think I could wear this dress or is it just to bridesmaidy? Opinions welcome

To wear this bridesmaid dress when I’m not a bridesmaid?
To wear this bridesmaid dress when I’m not a bridesmaid?
OP posts:
NotMilanese · 24/06/2025 16:49

I did this many years ago. People thought I was a bridesmaid. I still cringe at the thought...

MummaMummaMumma · 24/06/2025 16:32

It's just a nice dress.
If you're worried, ask the bride.

PopeJoan2 · 24/06/2025 16:32

It might be because you said it was a bridesmaid’s dress but it seems too “bridesmaids” to me.

SuperSange · 24/06/2025 16:29

It'll be perfect shortened and without the bow. Find a tailor and have it adjusted.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/06/2025 16:28

It’s clearly a bridesmaid dress and it’d look weird wearing that when not a bridesmaid

ohyesido · 24/06/2025 16:28

If it’s not similar to the actual bridesmaids gowns on the day you should wear it.

Maddy70 · 24/06/2025 16:28

If you had it made Into a short dress it would be ok. But otherwise a big no from me

stayathomer · 24/06/2025 16:27

Another for ‘find out what the bridesmaids are wearing’- if they’re wearing totally different colours and styles go for it- if lilac/ pink personally I wouldn’t

fatphalange · 24/06/2025 16:26

You could have it dyed or have it altered to be shorter, but the length is kind of needed because of the high waistline. However the style is quite dated so I really don’t think it’s worth the effort of having it modified anyway. You could charity shop it and pick up something a) much nicer b) definitely not a bridesmaid gown.

Azureshores · 24/06/2025 16:26

Yes it's fine. The etiquette for weddings is don't wear white and don't try to upstage the bride - who cares if it looks a bit bridesmaid-y?

mustytrusty · 24/06/2025 16:24

Wear it. It's just a dress. Nobody will know that it was going to be a bridesmaid dress.

Butteredtoast55 · 24/06/2025 16:20

Without the bow and with a little length off it, I think it would be lovely and non-bridesmaidy.

amalii · 24/06/2025 16:20

What do guests usually wear? I’m not English. I think the dress is perfectly fine seen as the brides party is wearing black. I would just get rid of the bow. And maybe double check with bride if she’s ok with u wearing it

Justchillinhere · 24/06/2025 16:16

If you have to ask, maybe you're not really comfortable with it yourself, if that's the case buy something else and use that for another event, I think it's nice, probably with a light covering round the shoulders.

MageQueen · 24/06/2025 16:09

I think even wth the new belt, it would be better shorter than in my picture.

chocolatemademefat · 24/06/2025 16:08

So you’d be a stealth bridesmaid. Haven’t committed to the whole thing but happy to look the part! I’d buy something more suitable.

viques · 24/06/2025 16:07

I think if it was a different colour and you took off the bow you could get away with it, but that particular colour is such a bridesmaidy colour, no one would actually choose it for anything other than a bridesmaid dress.

JayJayj · 24/06/2025 16:06

I think I’d probably shorten it to just below the knee and shorten the bow bit to match.

I have a similar dress in navy from when my friend hit married and I’m going to shorten it so it can be worn again as otherwise it seems such a waste.

housethatbuiltme · 24/06/2025 16:04

Wear it, its fine.

I have an old 'bridesmaid' dress I just wear to the beach or trips out on hot sunny days never mind worrying if I could wear it to a formal event lol.

A bridesmaid dress is just a dress, usually a 'formal' one that someone decided to stick under the bridesmaid label instead of the 'guest' label but they are pretty interchangeable.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 24/06/2025 15:58

It is very bridesmaidy.

I would ask the bride though.

TheignT · 24/06/2025 15:58

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/06/2025 14:56

I'd get the bow removed and ask the bride.

Seconded.

Kiwi83 · 24/06/2025 15:57

If not a bridesmaid you shouldn't wear it, you'll look like you weren't included in the bridal party but are trying to gatecrash. This happened at a wedding I went to recently. A family member was upset at not being asked and she and her daughter wore bridesmaid dresses. There were many jokes made at their expense.

CoastalCalm · 24/06/2025 15:57

I think it is lovely minus the bow

Catwoman8 · 24/06/2025 15:56

I agree with previous posters, it is very bridesmaid-y. Taking the bow off and shortening it may work as others have suggested, but if it were me, I would just sell it and buy something else.

Khanga27 · 24/06/2025 15:55

Would be fine if it wasn’t full length. Would you consider having it shortened? Otherwise there would be few events you could wear it for to be honest.

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