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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flaky friend - last straw AIBU??

256 replies

Fitasafiddle1 · 24/06/2025 11:40

I have a long standing friend that I like a lot. Over the years she has bailed out of virtually all invites from most of our friends, including me. Only managing a handful of times. Sometimes without telling them/ us and just not turning up. She can be very avoidant. I thought it might be social anxiety, but she does a hobby that requires a lot of socialising at times that she manages well.

This time however it was important as I had something to tell her in person, she bailed an hour before dinner and was so flippant and she said she was going to a gig in town and she’ll see me another time. Up to now I have been quite relaxed about her flakiness.

I sent a message to say I was finding it hard to have any meaningful friendship with her, as she keeps letting me down and now she is cross and upset with me?! She is giving me the silent treatment now. I feel like it is kind of gas lighting and a strange response. Wdyt?

OP posts:
BankHolidayMonday · 24/06/2025 11:45

She is giving me the silent treatment now.

stick with that and bin her.
She has shown exactly what she thinks of you, why bother?

Fitasafiddle1 · 24/06/2025 11:45

I do feel shut down, that’s exactly it. I thought we might be able to talk about it. Maybe I do need to give up on her at this point, even though I would prefer not to. It’s hurtful and embarrassing.

OP posts:
MageQueen · 24/06/2025 11:45

She's fkaley and unrealiable and you dont like t. So what if she' sgiving you the silent treatment - she wasn't exactly a good friend in the first place was she?

Pearlz · 24/06/2025 11:42

I think it’s good you were honest with her and her response is really disappointing. Given how she’s responded it’s clear you’re not going to be able to talk things through and resolve this in a way that works for you so sadly yes I think this relationship is over. You can’t keep going as things are and she’s shut down your attempt to discuss/work on it. So you’re out of options. Sorry for you, it’s horrible

Shoxfordian · 24/06/2025 11:42

I'd drop her, she's too unreliable to be a good friend

New2you · 24/06/2025 11:42

I wouldn’t have mentioned anything but instead would have just reduced effort to organise catch ups with the friend.