Gender swap situation

My teenage son shares a house at university with a non-binary person who he is friends with. He's faultless when it comes to using their preferred pronouns, and is completely respectful of them. As a result they've developed a really lovely friendship over the past year, which I hope with continue for a long time to come.

I think your daughter can make the effort if the friendship is valuable to her. If not, maybe she should tell her friend she can't cope with it, and distance herself.

I’d tell my kids to back quickly away from any friend who gave them nasty looks or made them tread on eggshells, no matter the reason. I also don’t support compelled speech in any circumstances. DD would probably be much happier focussing on other friendships and I’d tell her so.

As a teacher who had to always refer to my colleagues by Mr/Mrs/Ms XYZ in front of children, I have to say it's a pretty normal.part of life to get used to calling someone by a different name as happens quite commonly after marriage. Children seem to adapt to it very quickly when a member of staff has got married or divorced.

It's also not uncommon for children to change the name they are known by - I've taught quite a few over the years (Naphtali became Zac, Oninye became Mary, Theodora became Teo). Again kids seem to take this in their stride.

Using different pronouns is a similar process. Sometimes you slip up, you apologise and move on, just as you do if you call the new Mrs Smith Miss Jones by accident.

Bugger, missed it!

She’ll probably ( hopefully) be calling her self Salamander next week.

Your DD is doing nothing wrong here, and the fact the the brother can ‘get away with’ calling Sally Sally is a bit of a nudge about the family’s common sense. Maybe explain that Sally is a bit confused at the moment ( hormones?) but Sally was born a girl and is going to grow up to be a woman, even if she cuts her breasts off and takes some tablets to grow some facial hair. (hopefully this will not happen).

I can’t believe I have got here before all the activists who will tel you to tell your daughter to ‘affirm’ and that Sally has actually been Ron since nursery. They must be having a lie in.

Good luck OP.

Well you will get a lot of MN agreeing with you as I am sure you know.
Personally I would try very hard to use the correct pronouns.