Gender swap situation

@ninjahamster

I’ll correct this for you.

"I’ve offered a solution. I have been an inpatient in hospitals several times with trans women biological men on my ward with no issues. It is not something that worries me but if girls are upset that trans girls biological boys are in their changing room, then surely the answer is another changing area for the trans girls biological boys?

Don’t we already have these facilities they are called the boys changing room.

You do not consent for me or other women and girls.

It's ridiculous.

The male child is and will always be male.

He has been taught that his identity trumps consent.

It's a dangerous lie. This is why pronouns/ social transition is not a neutral act.

We should not teach children to disregard boundaries because of gender identiy. We should not be calling children who tell the truth unkind or bigots.

Just call Sally Ron until Sally doesn't want to be Ron.

Not the correct pronouns but the ones Ron wants others to use.
Basically, if she wants to remain friends in the short term at least she has to go along with it.

And a woman was raped on an NHS ward by a man with a trans identity and was gaslit by the police that it couldn't have happened because there was no 'man' on the ward.

Nice to know that the safety and dignity and consent of female children is 'not something that worries you.'

The school in question does not offer the girls and alternative, it puts the male child first.

One of my childhood best friends changed their name. It’s been probably 10 years now. I can’t do it. It just doesn’t stick. So I use them interchangeably based on how hard I am trying to remember. They don’t care.

Ah sorry! I did that really annoying thing of posting the OP! I apologise!

Alongside single sex?

This. By all means have an opinion on trans issues but to pretend your child can't learn a new name is ridiculous! 2 thirds of the staff in my school have changed names since I've worked there and even the 4 year olds have coped.

If it was actually "Ron" i would have my daughter change the Sally's ringtone to Mrs Weasleys howler sound bite....

@ninjahamster

You say you think some unisex changing rooms are a solutions for teenage girls?

You have to be kidding?

What teenage girls want to change in front of teenage boys?

WTF!!

I’ve offered a solution. I have been an inpatient in hospitals several times with trans women on my ward with no issues. It is not something that worries me but if girls are upset that trans girls are in their changing room, then surely the answer is another changing area for the trans girls? I worked at a college, we had a set of toilets that were used by trans students.

How is it bigoted to not want girls to conform to ridiculous ideas of male/female gender bollocks?

You’re sporty and outgoing, hate pink and want to wear your hair very short and play football so you must really be a boy?? Seriously?

This is the bollocks that we need to stamp out, instead of pretending to girls they’re obviously born in the wrong body because they’re not being feminine enough.

Trans is just another fad at this age and supporting delusional ideas of gender limitations is only going to lead to further harm to those poor kids later on.

@Sabire9

"Most people have a gender identity which is concomitant with their biological sex"

Please could you give me a few examples of female gender identity please?

It’s not “kind” to pretend to a child confused about their identity that they are the opposite sex.

It is kind to support them and teach them to accept their body, personality and their preferences for what they are.

It is kind to say to a tom boyish girl that she absolutely can have short hair, wear boyish clothes and take part in typically more boyish activities.

It’s kind to say to a girl, whether gender non conforming or not, that it’s absolutely fine and normal to be attracted to other girls.

It is not kind to lie, pretend she is a boy who can grow up to be a man, and it is not kind to let her believe that taking synthetic testosterone and surgically operating on her female body to remove her healthy breasts and create a fake phallus from the muscle tissue on her arm or thigh will make her male. It will lead her on a path to sterility, permanent medication and lifelong health complications.

Read some detransitioners’ stories to hear first hand what health problems they have as a result of adults “being kind” to them.

Fine, have a phase, change your name even, experiment with clothes, hair and make up. But it doesn’t charge who you really are.

No it's not detracting. I want to understand how far using preferred pronouns go for you.

In schools in a city in the South of England girls are forced to change for PE with boys who use 'she' pronouns. There are no single sex options for the girls.

How do you think this impacts the girls?

Because this is where your 'be kind' it's just pronouns leads.

Is this the first whiff of transgenderism in ‘Sally’ that your DD has noticed? I mean, has it come completely out of the blue?

I have a friend whose son became her daughter, but she discussed this stuff at length with friends. They even helped her choose her new name. Similar age to yours.

There are ways you can do your best to avoid fucking up. Avoiding using their name at all as much as you possibly can is one of them. Calling them "my friend" or "this lovely human" and they/them are others.

If your DD is trying but occasionally fucks up, their friend (see what I did there) shouldn't be a sod about it - but humans are messy complicated little beings and 14 year old humans even more so.

I wish this madness would end, it’s exhausting

Well, that wasn’t the point of the post and we are detracting from. The original discussion but I think some unisex changing rooms are a solution.

yes but you are changing the meaning of the word. You would be using "he" to refer to a woman.

But again, people can pretty much do as they like, dress as they like, pretend to themselves all they like. Right up until it starts to affect me, then they will meet a pushback on some of it.

I am with your daughter OP, it is difficult and is a bit of a minefield.

The trouble with gender is that it is a construct , increasingly ( and I am not critical of this) a personal, internal construct. The individuality and uniqueness inherent within gender identity is all part of it.
The trouble is that someone's internal chosen reality and identity may be at odds / not coherent with their external appearance or who they have been known as previously by friends and relatives.
Then it is these people who are vilified when they occasionally get confused or can't keep up.
That isn't really fair in my mind.
A bit more tolerance and understanding all around perhaps.
But that doesn't seem to go down well if voiced as a possibility ....

Mary wasn't telling you her sex had changed though.

Please can you answer my question of whether male teenagers who use she pronouns should be allowed to change with girls?

Do you think this is kind to girls?