To think it's not really true when people say you don't need much for a baby?

You will find every Tom Dick and Harriet has an opinion on every blasted thing you do. I have 5 children. Just do whatever you like and learn to smile and nod while thinking of other things.

I wish past me had one of these.

The 'old rags' are for nappy changes / bum wiping. Seems quite reasonable to me.

Sounds like you have been sensible. You right you don't need much for a baby. I wouldn't pay a changing bag but a nice rucksack with lots of pockets. Babies grow so quickly and you be gifted alot of clothes I took much clothes wise. Babygrows and vests

Back in the day I was planning to buy all the stuff we needed when I went on mat leave at 38wks but got caught out as DD arrived at 37 wks when I went for a planned checkup (preeclampsia and urgent delivery). I had a packet of newborn vests, a moses basket and that was it. I hadn't even brought a hospital bag! Called DM after delivery "DD has arrived can you bring newborn nappies, sudocream, babygros etc!" She was just 🙄 🥳

We were lucky to be gifted a lot of clothing from ILs and friends. Used my roomy work rucksack as changing bag when we went out. Was much better organised for DD2!

A lot of the expensive branded merchandise aimed at new parents is just a way of ripping them off and makes them feel if they don't have x, y ,z then they're not a proper parent.

I bought a huge amount of clothes form a really nice woman at a car boot sale for a fiver. Washed them all before using obviously. We were given a crib, just bought a new mattress and bought a second hand cot, again bought a new mattress. We did buy a new pram, car seat and baby bouncer.

I just laid him on a towel to change and no changing table, chucked stuff for him in a rucksack I already had so no extra bag.

Oh dear god @Wanderdust, the nesting comments. We moved house at 37 weeks (idiocy) and it's called unpacking. I got so many comments about nesting from the various visiting health professionals, then afterwards got comments about why didn't we have curtains and it's in my notes that our house was full of boxes! There were only 5 left when the baby was born, most of which held said curtains!

Truly . all you actually need are nappies , blankets and a sling.
And when it comes to nappies you need many fewer than you think. Get a top hat potty! ;)

Two random things I bought were complete lifesavers. One was a proper hiking baby carrying thing with a metal stand.

I could stand the hiking carrier up and put the baby in by myself and go hiking or go through an airport and push a luggage trolley at the same time. The other was a wind up swing that I could put ds1 in and he was unable to squawk through the hypnosis.

I was a very young single mum and I went travelling and hiking alone with the baby a lot. I must have been very strong! And insane.

I'm extremely tired now and he's in his late 30s 😂

Ah the unsolicited advice of parenting! Fun isn't it? I think someone has already said that if you can learn to let this stuff go now it'll stand you in good stead for life with kids. There will always be someone with more/less stuff. There's usually a percentage of those who are competitive about how much/little stuff they have. There will be people who buy their child gifts up to the ceiling at Christmas and those who spent £5 at the charity shop and call it done.

Best bet is to do what works for you (and the planet I guess, we could all be more mindful there) and be confident in your decisions.

Sure you'll do just fine :)

Oh and get ready for the "nesting" comments!! Dear god, that drove me bananas! Yes, I'm organising and rearranging my home to make space for another human to come live with us... Completely reasonable thing to do but no, if you're pregnant, your maternal side must be kicking in and suddenly you're nesting?! Piss off, nobody ever says this to men!

YANBU, I think some people like to stealth brag about how minimalist they are, or have just forgotten what it's like having your first baby.

Honestly, if you don't want your life to be a PITA (rather than just surviving) then there is a fair outlay of stuff at the beginning and it can feel really cluttered in a small space. Unfortunately you don't really know what is going to be useful for you and your particular baby until after it's born!

I've just asked ChatGPT for a list of essential purchases for a first baby, and it's given me a list of around 50 items, <10 of which are decribed as optional. I'd agree with almost all of them, at least from my own experience. They're not all big things, but they soon mount up in terms of cost/space, even if you get them second hand.

You might also find you end up buying new clothes for yourself as it might be a while until you can wear all of your pre-pregnancy stuff again (I wish I'd been more savvy with this, and just chosen more maternity wear that was also breastfeeding-friendly, i.e. not high-necked smock dresses with no front fastening!)

Just use your common sense, and if there's anything you're not sure about you can hold off until after baby's here, if it would be easy enough to buy online or in the supermarket (and won't be too much of a faff to assemble at short notice when you're looking after a newborn baby at the same time).

The clutter will evolve, but won't really go away for quite a long time sadly - but you will get more used to it.

FWIW, my purchases that were a bit wasted:

*Stretchy sling wrap - didn't use at all, couldn't be bothered with the faff
*Ewan the sheep - quickly learned the power of white noise and bought a small machine from Amazon for around £25 instead, chargeable and lasts all night
*Breast milk storage bags/bottles - sadly didn't end up able to pump enough milk to be worth storing
*Snuzpod - probably could have just gone straight to the cot, which is just a travel one with a bassinet mode. Didn't need the sides of the Snuzpod lowered often enough to be essential

And my purchases that other people often deem unnecesary, but I wouldn't have been without:

*Plenty of 0-3 month size babygros/vests etc - we don't have a tumble dryer, and baby was born early Autumn so weather was not cold enough for central heating but not often good enough to dry clothes outside. I hadn't realised how many changes of clothes you can get through in a day with a newborn, and you don't want to be doing loads of laundry if you don't have to. So I would overstock on these (cheap and cheerful is fine), even though they grow out of them quickly.
*Nappy bin
*Foldable changing table - much kinder on your back than doing it on the bed/floor, which could be 10+ times per day in the beginning
*Bath seat
*Moses basket - kept downstairs for daytime naps, or in the early hours of the night when he took longer to settle to avoid disturbing DH - I'd then just sleep on the sofa next to him.

But your journey will be your own. Good luck!

I was the same with my first - had a spare room that was just a box room but it was filled with stuff! I still have the picture 🤣 Completely normal! Babies do need a lotta stuff (whether it's new or second hand is irrelevant).

Pregnant with second... Yip, house is slowly filling back up with stuff stored in the loft! Mostly second hand from my first but still loads!

I know people hate it on Mumsnet but…that’s the reason for a baby shower!

You will get lots of comments on everything once you have the baby Op. Don’t stress about other peoples opinions on baby paraphernalia, enjoy your pregnancy and best wishes.

Yup. Our tiny flat was full with just the boxes for the pram and moses basket. We even deliberately bought a tiny pram. It was better when they were unpacked and the pram was in the hall. Most things can be ordered with next day delivery though! A lot of things I thought I wanted we've found that we don't actually need. I thought I needed a rucksack for with the sling, but actually my old marathon backpack is better because it has pockets on the straps. My old yoga mat is good for a play mat. Teatowels work just as well as muslins. He's allergic to baby shampoo and baby lotion, but vaseline is OK. We just use the kitchen bin instead of having a nappy bin and empty it every day. I'm still trying to work out what to do when he outgrows his moses basket though!

Some things you really need and some things you don’t. It’s figuring out which that’s tricky. Everyone ends up with at least one thing they regret buying.

I never understood changing tables. It’s such a short period of time that you’re changing them lying down so buying furniture for that seems absolutely bonkers to me. I just changed my son on the bed or the floor. No changing mats or any kind. But some people feel they need them. I loved our next-to-me but other people say their baby never slept a single night in one.

It's definitely a perspective point of view and vastly chanhes depending on circumstances

When I had my first I'd just turned 20 and we were living the bare minimum so dd had the basics and that was pretty much it. No fancy toys, mainly car boot or sensory things I made. We still had quite a bit of "stuff" but it was mainly gifts from people, some of which went unused.

By the time we had our second dd, we were better off and looking back I think we subconscious bought more of the hype stuff because we're influenced and had the means to do so.

I bought sleep suits and nappies, wipes, cotton wool and cream, ex bought a baby bath and thermometer. I was given a few little outfits, with a hat and cardigan.

I bf so we only had one bottle that we were given at the maternity unit.

My only major expenses were a buggy/carrier/isofix car seat system, and a Mothercare sling.

We borrowed a cot for which I bought a new mattress, and eventually a high chair. My friends made me a blanket which was lovely. I made some sheets and a cot bumper. I didn't need a changing mat or bag, a towel and my rucksack were fine.

I think we spent about £400 in 2008.

You do need stuff just not as much as is marketed to you.

My youngest is a girl, and wore her older brothers pyjamas when she grew into them. My DM said she would be confused about whether she was a boy or a girl because they were blue stripes/had trains/space rockets on.

I can assure you all now DD is not at all confused about the fact that she is a girl although she did go through a phase of wanting a penis like her brothers

OP, buy as much as you want to- if you live in a small flat it will seem like a lot. Sometimes when you leave the house with a new born it can seem like you need a donkey to carry it all. What people might mean is babies don’t have to cost a lot. Because they don’t care if their clothes are second hand primark or designer, or if they their days ate spent at home or in a five star hotel, as long as they’re with people they have a bond with. Unlike teenagers, who seem to need money spent on them constantly, and are fussy about brands. Babies don’t care about nice bags. Use a bag for life, for all they care.

A lot of stuff is needed, but most of it can be obtained second hand at a low price. That's the joy of Facebook marketplace.

I have found that I get given so many clothes, there is no need to buy those. Same with toys.

I was going to say the same thing about prams. I didnt have a "pram" for my 1st. I had a travel system which had a seat that laid completely flat.

Then for DS2 I had a SilverCross pram with an stall bassinet which converted into a seat. It could also be used as a moses basket which was great.

There are multiple people on this thread who have said prams aren't necessary.

Some babies hate them and some manage to use wraps/slings instead.

I wonder if they mean prams - as in old style ones rather than more modern ones that change into pushchairs later on or are travel systems - I had one like that lasted all three.

I ended up with load of pushchairs - and with clip on side car and buggy board and slings and many pushchairs/strollers/travel systems

Best bet is sadly as other posters say is not to invite comments - honestly people all feel need to tell you how you are parenting wrong - it's irritating but this is sadly just the start.

How many people are really touring your flat to know what you have?

I can’t say anyone would have seen our bedroom ( which Ds shared under 18 months). Maybe the midwife?

I don’t think anyone cares either. I mean nobody would know if you have 5 sleepsuits or 100. They are in a drawer or basket hidden surely