Breakdown in friend group - who is right?

So actually this thread is about the fact that P and another friend aren’t talking to you rather than a breakdown between W and P?

The most pathetic AIBU I have ever read.

Of course your friend cannot chose the day she is induced. This is far far more important - there is nothing more important than the safe delivery of your child.

Absolutey ridiculous.

@Tornad Fingers crossed for your friend W, hope it all goes well and her baby is okay. ❤️

P is obviously a twat with main character syndrome. How is that even a question?

I read the thread title thinking that it's not likely that one person is 'right' and the other 'wrong', because most fallings-out between friends are more nuanced and they each contribute in some way to the problem.
Then I read the thread. Nope. P is entirely wrong. Hopefully she will recover some reason and sense of humour at some point and apologise to poor old W.

now, the adult approach is phone other friend and say are you ignoring me? Seriously? Because w is getting induced on Ps birthday? What I should have said to P is build a bridge and get yourself the fuck over it, imagine having a go at a pregnant woman for being induced early. There’s a reason for it- imagine how you’d feel if something happened to the baby because she didn’t get induced that day. So if you want to ignore me go right ahead. Let me know if you change your mind.

and to p - we have heard about nothing but your baby and how you judge our parenting for months now and you dare explode at me for supporting our friend for getting induced early?? You dare be upset at her?? For prioritising her baby? Your prioritise your baby 24/7 and would freak out if she ate some shop bought muesli but W can’t focus on hers when baby needs to be born early? The only thing W shoukd be focussed on is her baby, and you just do not care about anyone else at all anymore but expect us all to prioritise you, including W to put your fucking birthday above her baby’s health.

P sounds like a massive pain in the arse and possibly mentally unwell. If all of you are now having children, it’s time to start behaving and thinking more like grown ups. Kids birthdays are a big deal, grown ups birthdays aren’t. P and the whole group need to get a sense of perspective and calm down.

I was going to say they all sound about 12 years old.

Op you've had some really weird messages on this thread.
Several posters berating you for giving the situation (i.e. whether to continue with a friendship of more than 30 years, something I think most people would take a little time to ponder rather than just dumping a friend the moment they do something annoying) any "headspace" at all while missing the irony that they, people who have no involvement in said scenario and which will have no effect on them whatsoever are themselves giving it "headspace" and wasting their time commenting!

And this sort of shit is why I left my old friendship group! So much drama and bitchiness

I will never understand why grown adults make such a big deal about birthday's.

Surely P's concern should be her friends health and why she requires an induction.

This whole drama is ridiculous

Well this thread went sideways 😳

@Tornad I would give up on some of the side conversations here, it’s probably not worth it.

I think you should probably just listen to those who are saying to not get involved. Drop the whole thing let a few weeks pass and then pick up with the group as normal. This whole situation has probably been moved into the drama category unnecessarily. If P was in a snit about her birthday the best course of action would have have been to do the “hmmm mmmm I can see how you would feel that way” thing and not try to change her mind. Let it be between her and W.

I think this might be because your poll isn't entirely clear.

"My initial thought is that P is being ridiculous but, the more I think about it, W has always made a big deal out of birthdays and now P won’t be W’s focus on her birthday, her DD/DS will be."

So which option is which? I initially voted YABU because I agree with your initial thought - P is being ridiculous. Then realised I had to switch to YANBU for that.

P = 100% ridiculous

@Tornad well you are not wrong and rather than just keeping your head down you've tried to smooth things between two friends - not much more you can do. It is really hard to let go of friends but if P is going off on her own route like this, you really don't have to keep trying to hold on. Don't be made to feel guilty.

Utterly bizarre that another friend in the group is now ignoring you given you’ve pointed out P’s twatty ignorance! Do you think they may just be trying to stay well out of it?

The long and short of it is that people can't understand why you are giving head space to this ridiculous saga!

You now seem to be arguing with people on this thread.

I'm sorry to say but you all need to grow up.

Does P stand for prat or princess? Coz she is one.

"My initial thought is that P is being ridiculous but, the more I think about it, W has always made a big deal out of birthdays and now P won’t be W’s focus on her birthday, her DD/DS will be.
Who is right here?"

What are we supposed to be agreeing with?

Sometimes I really do wonder if I should make more of an effort to have local adult female friendships. I then read or hear about stuff like this and realise I'm better off maintaining the friendships I already have and pottering about as a semi loner.

They both sound loopy. Considering you all have families do you not spend your birthdays with your actual families so siblings, partners or children? Just because she is induced on the day doesn't mean her baby will arrive on the day does it? My only experience of induction lasted 3 days and failed so I'm no expert here. It was an early induction for heightened risk of still birth and if someone had moaned about something like this to me I'd have ended the friendship.

I'm an adult that does like a fuss on my birthday but even still this is absurd.