Breakdown in friend group - who is right?

You weren't paraphrasing with direct quotes. You were trying to suggest I had actually said those things. You're admitting to falsely attributing statements to other posters and you don't even realise. I'm not sure how you've reached your age and not worked out how making things up works.

And the vote is 83% YABU. That is in response to your statement in the OP:

"My initial thought is that P is being ridiculous but, the more I think about it, W has always made a big deal out of birthdays and now P won’t be W’s focus on her birthday, her DD/DS will be."

Eg, "the more I think about it" you are not sure P is being unreasonable. 83% of posters appear to disagree.

Btw, it has occurred to me that this is precisely the kind of thread that the DM will eat up. I can see the headlines now "Poster takes to Mumsnet to ask whether it's unreasonable to have a baby on your friend's birthday". That's not a paraphrase, btw. That's actually the way they'll put it.* *

I hope W and P don't recognise themselves.

I wonder if W and P are on here. .

I'm not struggling to keep anything straight. I absolutely confirm I was incredulous about the possibility that you were genuinely uncertain about whether P was being unreasonable. Hence why I asked. I am STILL incredulous. I note you are ignoring the fact that you made up a false quote and attributed it to me so I don't think you're in a strong position to accuse anyone else of struggling to keep their story straight.

I was not attempting to start an argument - why would I when you are already arguing with so many posters on the thread? But I was absolutely sincere in asking whether you were genuinely uncertain about whether P was being unreasonable.

No matter how you try to deflect, the fact that you actually started a thread on MN to ask total strangers whether your friend was being unreasonable to object to someone else having a baby on her birthday is mind-boggling. Hence why the voting has gone the way it has.

Your belligerence is not winning you any favour OP, let it go. Many of us are incredulous that your friendship group is this immature and yes, toxic.

Mumsnet is a strange place indeed. There are daily threads from women asking for tips and advice on being assertive, calling out rudeness and not taking any shit from people and everyone helps and encourages her to be asaertive and call it out.

Yet on this thread everyone has had a go at the OP for being rude, childish, grow up etc and now everyone is offended by the OP giving them the same response back! Don't dish it out if you can't take it back simples 🙄

As bonkers as this thread is I can see why the OP doubted whether she was unreasonable to think P was wrong its easy to realise when written down in black and white that P is being a selfish cow and petulant child all because she's got sour grapes that W might not make much effort for her birthday and will of course understandably want to prioritise her own child! But when someone is acting upset and emotional even when they're wrong we all feel empathy and try to understand.

Also going by the OP's posts W sounds like a thoughtful person so P really has no reason to be upset that she won't be prioritised anymore because if W is that thoughtful and makes alot of effort surely she would buy a card and a nice gift and have flowers delivered etc even if she didn't see P for a dinner and drinks.

P is just a self centred cow any true friend would be concerned and offer support not have a strop that they have to share a birthday. I'd be thrilled for any of my friends if they gave birth on my birthday a new baby is supposed to be a happy occaison especially if the labour goes well. I struggle to remember birthdays so there's no way I'd forget that my friends child shares my birthday lol

Wait, hold my beer Willis! I thought the issue was about them doing both of those things on the same day? So if induction and birthday party are half a week appart, does it even matter? How peculiar? Couldn’t w still attend the birthday lunch if she is being induced 3 days later? Maybe hold the margaritas? But surely she could still go? Is it far away from where she plans to deliver?
Keep a bag in the car, don’t leave home without the notes, that kinda jazz. a cursory kiss on the cheek, ‘so good to be able to make it, darling, let’s all sing and cut your cake’ and then, ‘whoop I am pooped, this tricky third trimester ect ect, you’ll have to excuse me but you lot carry on, in fact let me buy a round of shots for you all’
under her breath p is going to mutter, ‘that w, what an utter legend, I’m going dedicate my next karaoke song to her and her unborn baby’
sounds like a fabulous time all round

This has got to be a joke!

Do you not think they'd all be better off without P in their lives?

I didn't say I was unfairly treated, just that you were obnoxious - and then went on to invent a quote about what I supposedly said. I disagree that the tone of my comment was befitting of your response. So I guess we'll have to disagree on that.

And I'm not "admitting" anything. I think it was perfectly obvious from my question that I was really struggling with the possibility (as apparently are others) that you were genuinely uncertain as to whether your friend was BU for objecting to someone else having a baby on her birthday (even typing that sentence out feels completely surreal).

This is going to sound a bit bonkers but hear me out. Could P and the gang go for a birthday celebration near to the place W is being induced? I don’t mean race it up on the ward, but maybe a restaurant down the street? Then if the magic happens, great, you’re all there to join in and what’s better to celebrate a birthday and an actual day of birth for someone you all care about. Or if it doesn’t pan out for that day, W can come join in the fun with p, and at least they won’t have to go far.

Really weird behaviour from P, personally I'd be delighted if a friend had a baby on my birthday! I always think it is lovely to share a birthday with someone, and that would include a close friend's child! If this is out of character, could she be suffering some sort of mental breakdown?

I didn't say "innocently ask a simple question". You just made that up.

I am incredulous, as it appears are many others, that YOU innocently started this thread, and were genuinely wondering whether P was being unreasonable in objecting to W having baby on P's birthday. My comment was 'aligned' with a supposedly hostile comment precisely because said poster seemed to be expressing the scepticism that many have with this scenario - namely that you could ever have entertained the idea P was NBU.

But actually, I don't care. I was just passing the time of day and from the way you have responded, it's sounds as if at least 2 out of 3 people in this weird, weird scenario are very well matched. Which could go some way to explaining why you did not immediately realise that P was completely unreasonable, irrespective of any others friends' reactions.

I know which one I’d rather have as a friend. I’m too old for stroppy friends that create drama over nothing.

did you miss the word "since" ? used to note events in chronological order?

OP said her initial post was perfectly polite (which it was)
then she got a number of rude replies, and responded back in the same vein, which she's never denied.

I agree with her, if you can't take it, don't dish it out.

Which poster called you a nasty bitch?

At least we know what P, W and the OP have in common and why they are friends (in between not speaking to each other) 😂

If that's the drama about birthdays, I want to know more about weddings and hen parties 😂😂

So, yes, when that poster just flat-out lied about me in her smug, holier-than-thou comment, I pointed out that her lie never happened. Is that ok with you?

See, now you're being obnoxious to me, when all I did was ask whether you genuinely believed P may not have been wrong, which is partly why I think many posters are so incredulous. Have it your way though.

Calling posters "nasty bitches saying nasty bitchy things and then squeal victim when they’ve dug themselves a hole". is not really posting 'perfectly politely'.

Yes some people might have been rude, but you take it to a whole new level.