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AIBU?

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Breakdown in friend group - who is right?

461 replies

Tornad · 24/06/2025 09:00

I’m not either of these two people.

P, W and 3 others have been friend since school, almost 30 years. Now all getting married, having children, etc. Don’t live locally to one another but still close and see each other very regularly (almost always as a group or one-on-one - i.e. we would never meet up as a three or a four without everyone being invited).

W has always been high maintenance as a friend. She expects us to be there for her, get birthday presents, attend birthday events, etc. She also gives out the same energy. She will always organise gifts,I’ve heaven and earth to attend special moments and be on the end of the phone. So, she’s not a hypocrite or a taker. She just expects a lot from friendship in general.

P has always been more relaxed. Unreliable, late to things, forgets things, doesn’t respond for months at a time, didn’t hear her phone… but she’s really fun to be around. Witty, cool, energetic. But, since having her own kids, P has also become quite high maintenance. Everything is a drama, the world is ending every couple of weeks, everything revolves around her DS. She’s very “crunchy mum” and makes her opinions known on our parenting and nutrition. I’m hoping this will pass because I wouldn’t befriend her if I met her now.

Anyway. W is pregnant and being induced early. She hasn’t said but I assume this is for medical reasons. They don’t tend to induce early just for fun. The date for the induction is P’s birthday. P is furious about this. She thinks that W has done this on purpose to usurp her birthday. She has vowed to never speak to W again and says that it’s “the final straw”.

My initial thought is that P is being ridiculous but, the more I think about it, W has always made a big deal out of birthdays and now P won’t be W’s focus on her birthday, her DD/DS will be.

Who is right here?

OP posts:
rrrrrreatt · 24/06/2025 09:07

Surely this is a joke? P is a grown up, they should be mature enough to share their birthday with a child.

I hope W makes some new friends. You list out P’s redeeming personality traits but not W, P is so self centred they assume W’s induction is about her and neither of you seem to even consider how W might feel about waiting to be induced or going through birth.

cakeintrain · 24/06/2025 09:06

What’s a “crunchy mum”?

P is obviously U.

Figcherry · 24/06/2025 09:06

P is so our of order that I wonder if this situation is real.

AcrobaticCardigan · 24/06/2025 09:05

WTF - I can’t believe you have to ask!

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 24/06/2025 09:05

Grow up, all of you.

LizzieSiddal · 24/06/2025 09:05

Your first thought is correct, P is behaving disgracefully. FF sake, she’s a grown adult having a go at a life long friend because she has to give birth on P’s birthday.

P needs to grow up and apologise. And her behaviour would make me question my friendship with her.

Toscanini · 24/06/2025 09:04

W is right P ridiculous

FortyElephants · 24/06/2025 09:03

P is being a total twat.

TheSlantedOwl · 24/06/2025 09:02

This can’t be a serious question OP.

P is being massively U.

YellowGrey · 24/06/2025 09:02

P is massively in the wrong! You don't get offered a choice of induction dates.

lnks · 24/06/2025 09:02

P is extremely unreasonable. W can’t choose exactly which day to be induced.

Edited to add,’I think you are also being unreasonable to even be considering that P is being unfair

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