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Next door sex noises with kids in house

134 replies

Dayushorribilis · 24/06/2025 07:21

Wondering what (if anything) to do about next door neighbour family.

They’ve been next door for about a year. Always slightly ‘chaotic’ but nothing too bad eg they are very messy and noisy, they have pets running everywhere including a monkey in a cage, the mum doesn’t seem to have a job and screams at the kids a lot (no dad present).

I WFH and have noticed that often the kids aren’t at school during the day. They do go sometimes but not all the time. Kids seem to be early teens.

Over the last couple of weeks I have been disturbed multiple times in the day by very loud sex noises coming from next door. The mum is clearly enjoying herself with someone who I can also hear. It’s not massively enjoyable to hear this but I wouldn’t care except that there have been times that the kids are there too. I’ve seen them in the garden whilst mum is inside upstairs clearly having sex. I think this is wildly inappropriate to the point of wondering if I should report the whole situation to someone. Would you?

Part of me is hesitant because ‘Having sex whilst kids are in the house’ is fine, but when you add ‘daytime’ ‘plus ‘they should be at school’ plus ‘really quite loud’ I get bothered.

OP posts:
AutumnFog · 24/06/2025 09:26

ZippyBrick · 24/06/2025 09:12

This is great. Is there anything you're aware of, suggesting it's animal abuse to have a monkey in a cage. You can't just make up definitions for reporting

Considering she can't even take care of her children it's highly unlikely the monkey is being adequately cared for.
If by some slim chance OP is imagining the sex noises, the monkey is being cared for, the children are frequently genuinely too ill to go to school but well enough to be left in the garden, and the "yelling" is just her calling the DC down for dinner then SS and the RSPCA won't find any issue.
I would hazard a guess that she's not randomly imagining these things and the most logical explanation is the obvious one in which case it needs reporting.

Bumdrops · 24/06/2025 09:26

Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility

the persistent attitude of : none of your business / keep your nose out perpetuates child abuse

how many times have we heard on here someone describe abusive childhoods and say I wish someone had asked / done something to help / why did no one care ??

OP - report to Social Service and RSPCA

those saying nothing to report here : you are part of the problem, and rather than dig your heels in / think whatevvver ?!! Actually take 5 mins and read up on safeguarding children / signs of child abuse (not TikTok)

Thatsalineallright · 24/06/2025 09:25

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Your definition of a good sex life (one that everyone is jealous of according to you) is having loud sex while your children listen in. Thankfully, you're in the minority.

ShiningStar3 · 24/06/2025 09:24

If she's loud enough for the neighbors to hear then her kids can surely hear, and exposing children to sexual activity constitutes as abuse. Although I'd be concerned for the monkey, too (more the that it's being kept as a household pet, not that it can hear her 😅)

Nobody is saying you have to be celibate til the kids have moved out but as a parent you have a duty to protect your children. I can't imagine even being able to get in the mood knowing children are around and could overhear.

Gloriia · 24/06/2025 09:22

Bridport · 24/06/2025 09:19

Aren't you late for school?

Grin
ZippyBrick · 24/06/2025 09:20

Bridport · 24/06/2025 09:19

Aren't you late for school?

Left the kids off school today, we have to get to the petshop for some monkey food and then my FWB is coming over later

Reallyneedsaholiday · 24/06/2025 09:20

Make a loud recording of applause, cheering, clapping and general encouragement and play it in the room adjacent to theirs, everytime you hear them at it.

Comedycook · 24/06/2025 09:19

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Wtf

Being able to have sex with any old random bloke is not a flex. Pretty much all women are able to do that if they are so inclined...most don't because you know, standards. The idea that the op or anyone else would be jealous of this woman is laughable

Namechangerage · 24/06/2025 09:19

Voyager54 · 24/06/2025 09:04

Apart from all the comments made and other issues. I think the only way forward about the sex noises is to politely mention it to the couple that their noises are rather loud!

Many years ago I had a similar with neighbours and they said they could hear us and we had a good laugh about it.

Oh this did make me laugh!

Yes it sounds like they will all just sit and have a cup of tea together and tinkly laugh about it 🤣

Do you think this woman sounds like she will take kindly to OP saying something? Really?

Bridport · 24/06/2025 09:19

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Aren't you late for school?

Namechangerage · 24/06/2025 09:18

OP I would report this for sure, trust your gut. If it’s nothing then no problem.

Coffeeishot · 24/06/2025 09:16

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Wow you are in fire today !

Namechangerage · 24/06/2025 09:14

HairyMaclaryInTheDairy · 24/06/2025 07:28

Social services aren't going to be interested that a mum has a sex life, and the kids' schools will already be perfectly aware that their attendance is patchy. I don't see anything here that needs reporting... unless there is more you are not saying.

What’s wrong with you? You’d seriously just ignore this situation? Having loud sex during the day when you know you are in earshot of children is child abuse. It’s a bit different to trying to be discreet at night and your child accidentally walking in. All the other bits of this story add up to a worrying picture - social services should definitely take a look.

Dayushorribilis · 24/06/2025 09:14

Unless the monkey has a rudimentary grasp of the English language and can make both male and female sounds, it’s not the monkey I’m hearing.

Thanks for the comments. I will investigate an anonymous mention to children’s services. I do feel sorry for the kids. The house isn’t well looked after and there are a lot of raised voices. The kids look clean enough but a bit dishevelled generally. It’s just this loud sex thing that’s pushed me over the edge as it’s so grim. They can obviously hear it too. God knows who the man is but obviously he doesn’t care either.

OP posts:
ZippyBrick · 24/06/2025 09:12

AutumnFog · 24/06/2025 09:06

Neglect - children in garden alone while mum is having sex
Abuse - exposure to sexual activity
Abuse - depending on the extent the yelling
Potential Neglect - state of the house
Potential Neglect - DC are appearing healthy (enough to be alone in the garden) and potentially being phoned into school as unwell
Illegal animal abuse - monkey in a cage

I'm astounded that you don't see anything worth reporting

This is great. Is there anything you're aware of, suggesting it's animal abuse to have a monkey in a cage. You can't just make up definitions for reporting

ZippyBrick · 24/06/2025 09:10

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Confusedorabused · 24/06/2025 09:08

MNpenisadvisor · 24/06/2025 07:24

Sorry but... A MONKEY IN A CAGE?

That's what got me as well! THAT should be reported, is it even legal?

AutumnFog · 24/06/2025 09:06

HairyMaclaryInTheDairy · 24/06/2025 07:28

Social services aren't going to be interested that a mum has a sex life, and the kids' schools will already be perfectly aware that their attendance is patchy. I don't see anything here that needs reporting... unless there is more you are not saying.

Neglect - children in garden alone while mum is having sex
Abuse - exposure to sexual activity
Abuse - depending on the extent the yelling
Potential Neglect - state of the house
Potential Neglect - DC are appearing healthy (enough to be alone in the garden) and potentially being phoned into school as unwell
Illegal animal abuse - monkey in a cage

I'm astounded that you don't see anything worth reporting

Voyager54 · 24/06/2025 09:04

Apart from all the comments made and other issues. I think the only way forward about the sex noises is to politely mention it to the couple that their noises are rather loud!

Many years ago I had a similar with neighbours and they said they could hear us and we had a good laugh about it.

peachescariad · 24/06/2025 09:01

This is a huge safeguarding issue and sounds like neglect. You must report.

HunnyPot · 24/06/2025 09:00

Report to social services. God knows who these men are that are agreeing to have sex while the children wait in the garden.

Thatsalineallright · 24/06/2025 08:59

ZippyBrick · 24/06/2025 08:55

The kids are in the garden, they're not sat on the next couch. Do you not have sex when the kids are asleep in the next room?

Not sex loud enough for the neighbours and kids to hear. Do you? Why on earth do you find it sexy and enviable for your kids to hear you having sex?

YesHonestly · 24/06/2025 08:58

ZippyBrick · 24/06/2025 08:55

The kids are in the garden, they're not sat on the next couch. Do you not have sex when the kids are asleep in the next room?

The kids aren’t asleep.

The sex is loud enough to be heard by neighbours, so it’s likely that the children can hear.

Having loud sex in the vicinity of children is not ok and is actually considered a form of abuse, why is this so difficult for you to understand?

Gloriia · 24/06/2025 08:58

'It’s one thing to have a sex life and your children accidentally catching you, it’s another to have loud, obvious sex in the vicinity of your children and could actually be considered as a form of child abuse.'

This. Please report op. What you can hear is bad enough god knows what they they actually witness living there. She clearly needs help and support and yes as others have said a monkey in a cage?!

Aknifewith16blades · 24/06/2025 08:58

OP, you can call NSPCC and have a chat about concerns.