36 year old couple… How bad are our finances?

I think house is more important and pension. What will you do when you retire if you don’t own a home?? Will your pension be enough for renting? I’d be worried about that

As others have said, it’s about what you want for your other 2. I see on here ‘all we need is each other, we don’t need holidays, clubs etc’ but that’s the parents choice not what the child might want. I was one of 3 and loved the companionship but was very envious of the clubs all of my friends did and I do think I missed out there.

Honestly your finances imo are shite…don’t have another baby, you can’t afford it. Save and buy a house. Focus on the dc you already have.

From your OP, it sounds like you only have one LISA between the two of you. Open another, if that’s the case, so you have one each. Make sure you also have some accessible savings - you don’t mention any - and make sure the credit card is paid off before the end of the 0% interest period. What are your pensions like?

I absolutely would not have another child in your circumstances, and I’m saying this as someone who did.

Yeah, just go for it. No big deal. It only another kid. Something tells me this poster isn’t the most responsible person when it comes to making fertility decisions.

This just about sums up the attitude in this country.

Pop another kid and go on benefits.

Get a house asap before third child. Then consider what you’d do if it was twins.

Completely depends on current accommodation. Is it big enough for a third child, and will you be able to stay there indefinitely/until you have enough saved to comfortably secure another house of suitable size for 3 kids?

you Sound financially literate you are aware of where you are at only thing is when you apply for a mortgage they will ask how many dependents to workout you outgoing but honestly you’ll find that your mortgage typically is less than your rent x

Im sorry to be so practical and un fun here . But statistically theres a 30-40% chance that your marriage is going to split up. No one thinks it will happen to them.

But when it does, most women are left with the vast majority of childcare and costs of caring for the children until they are independent. Child support ( if you get any from your ex ) stops when they leave school, but you (the mum ) will still need to support them until they leave uni / college / get their own place.

Most women are lucky if their ex has their kids for one of two weekends a month and a week in the summer. So you will be doing and paying for almost everything.

So my questions are

1. will this relative still house you if you split up? Ie is it your family or his?
2. What if their financial circumstances change and you need to leave ?
3. What are your personal ( not joint ) plans to house yourself and your existing 2 kids with your assets of £12K? ( half of your 23K saving}. Is that enough for a deposit where you live ?
4. If not, will you be able to get a council house or private rental in the area where your kids are at school and where your work is , or would you have to move to another area ?
5. How much rent will you be able to afford on your own after paying for childcare for your existing school aged children ?
6. Have you worked out the cost of childcare for a baby / toddler / preschooler and factored that into your personal ( not joint) budget?
7. What pensions do you have ?

Yay! You might have twins if you’re lucky! 😀

As someone who had the third child at 37 it’s a no from me. I found the pregnancy and the baby so much harder. Ds has Sen needs so ten years on I still work part time due to the support he needs and we have struggled financially . And we own A house.

id focus on buying a property first , 25k is 10% on a250k house . Where I live that’s a decent 3 or 4 bed, do you live in an expensive area?

more importantly do you have pensions? We are ten years old than you and pay around £300 a month into pension and worry it’s not enough.

It's a personal choice. I know I'd be more focused on supporting the two dc you have through uni costs than having another dc, though.

3 dc is a lot more expensive than 2, in terms of cars, holidays, having enough bedrooms etc. I'd be worried how much the choice would negatively impact your older dc.

You can't yet buy a house with thr family you have, why have a other with at keast a 10 year gap and put yourself massively backwards again? The time has passed.

Personally I wouldn’t, the age gap between children is pretty big. We have a 5 1/2 year age gap between our youngest and middle child and that has its challenges.
For instance our middle child is heavily into sport but little one gets bored at the longer sporting fixtures so instead of us all being able to go and cheer them on, only one parent gets to go.
Homework, whilst sitting down and trying to help eldest with some tricky homework the youngest is super tired after a day at school so I’m trying to keep him awake so he doesn’t danger nap whilst trying to be helpful to the other 2.
There are tons more examples but both if these have happened in the last 3 days so fresh in my mind.
We have our own house (mortgaged) but three lots of extra curricular activities/childcare, school trips, clothes, food etc means that by payday there’s not much left.
We wouldn’t be without any of our children, baby number 3 was a happy surprise but it does stretch everything very thin having the 3 and trying to give them the kind of life experiences we want them to have whilst juggling the wants and needs of 3 very different ages and personalities.

I’m a single parent and my income is similar, slightly more depending how many extra hours I put through each month. My kids are older, only my 17yr old DD still at home. I have 60k savings, but like you, it’s for a house deposit, which i’m purchasing next year when I can relocate when DD goes to uni. Currently paying £1400 in rent. I would struggle a bit if my salary needed to support 2 adults and 2 DC. Depends how much your outgoings are though. Personally I wouldn’t add another DC into the mix as cost of living is high, and you’d need to purchase a bigger house as be difficult sharing with such a large age gap. Also be hard in general as the things pre teens / teens want to do, are not the same as you’d be able to do with a baby and toddler. I’d say that ship has sailed and it would make life harder for you on many fronts, but your life, your choice.

Go for it

Are the two children both yours as a couple or from other relationships?
Seems odd to want another when you have two of those ages and are moving into a different phase with them. I know people who have done it and it’s massively affected their options in later life.
We are all different but I would be wanting the security of a home if my own before anything else. Is it even an option where you live? Where I am you’d be better off renting than buying with those numbers.

In your circumstances I don't think it would be right. Everything major that you do as a parent should consider what's best for the children you already have and I think this would be unfair on them.

I'm not sure why you've decided to keep the debt, you'll need to pay it off at the end of the interest fee term so it's good to have the funds saved up ready. Stick the money in premium bonds if nothing else so you get a chance of earning something.

Having a baby is fine if your finances add up, without knowing your outgoings nobody can help with that. It's worth considering how you'd get in financially if you had twins, or if your new child had disabilities requiring more caring time. If you're happy that would be covered then go for it.

Do you really want to go back to newborns, toddlers, juggling childcare and work etc etc when you're nearly at the stage of 2 secondary age DC, who will be a bit more independent, but at the same time becoming teenagers so puberty, exams etc? Seems nuts to me.

Otherwise, your income and house deposit looks like a reasonable position providing it will buy you a suitably sized home where you live - eg if you could get a 3 bed for £150-200k on a 80/90% LTV mortgage. However, if prices are much higher where you are, you might need a lot bigger deposit, which would mean at least a year or two of frugal living and hard saving, which also doesn't tie in with another baby.

Do you expect your incomes to increase at all?

Realistically start trying now, a few months/6 months maybe a year to conceive. 9 months pregnancy. Your baby will be a toddler or younger when your eldest is doing their GCSEs.

It's a stressful time anyway, but throw in a younger child who needs all your attention, seems unfair.

The amount you can borrow to buy a house takes into account the number of dependents you have. Also your DC are still at the cheap stage. They are about to get much more expensive and also harder to parent.

If I were your relative I'd be very annoyed that I was giving you a discount on rent so you could save for your own home if you turned around and had another baby. That's really selfish. Expect to damage that relationship if you do this.

Go and see a mortgage broker before making any decisions. They can help you figure out what you can afford to buy, the difference that another child would make to that and how much more you need to save.

Why not focus on your two children. One is about to become a teenager, a time when they’re going to really need you emotionally. You won’t be able to give them much of your time if you’re dealing with a newborn, will you. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

I am one of 4 and I definitely didn’t get enough attention and emotional support from my parents because they were spread so thin. And that’s with a SAHP for most of my childhood. By contrast, DP is an only child and he’s the most emotionally healthy person I know. He has that quiet self-assuredness that can comes from lots of support, attention and stability as a child.

I wouldn’t have a third child in your circumstances. What’s your pension provision, death in service, health insurance life insurances like ? All the tedious stuff for when when you are getting on in years and or the horrible details of dealing with one of you dying or being seriously ill.

Give the two children you have a better chance in life. You can give them more time and fund school trips or hobbies more easily.