36 year old couple… How bad are our finances?

Teenagers can be very expensive from school trips and hobbies through to university, I would think extremely carefully about another child. Can either of you increase your income, do any further qualifications and/or seek promotion? And use any increase to save and invest for future. Do you have pensions too?

My DS has just finished his 3rd year at uni. It's not been expensive for me in the slightest. He's had his loan and a job all the way through Where's the expense?

I think that's a bit of an extreme comment in the context of OP's situation.

They already have two children and are clearly not in a good situation at all financially - I wouldn't deliberately be bringing another into this world with so few resources to go around.

I don't think that is anything like suggesting that only wealthy people should have children.

Absolutely no from me. Big age gap when your older 2 are about to lead very different lives as they become teenagers. They will need all your support going into exams and they uni is very expensive.
Owning your own home has to be a priority. Renting is so insecure particularly as landlords are selling up in droves.
I'm sure a 3rd would be very loved but...that isn't enough.

Personally, I wouldn't but everyone has different ideas on what a child needs (£ wise)
Cars, holidays etc plus you would need to get a bigger house when you do buy !

A great point about a family member subbing you reasonable rent , but to then choose to have another child is taking advantage a bit.

My opinion only of course!

I wouldn’t personally. Yes you could grab a second-hand cot on Facebook Marketplace, but I’d want to ensure mine got braces, uni help, swimming lessons etc. I’m not talking skiing and fencing lessons … even basic scouts is £50 a term these days.

You are not in a terrible place financially, but not great either. Your joint income isn’t huge, you are renting, and it is unlikely you will be able to continue saving if you have another child. You are also vulnerable while you are renting in case circumstances change and you have to move out or your rent increase. Your kids are also entering teenage years which are expensive! I would focus on what you’ve got rather than having another child.

Are you ready to buy now? f you get a 25 year morgage now you'll have it paid off by 61. Personally I wouldn't want to be paying a mortgage beyond 65. Everyone is different though.

I was reacting purely to the poster that said if your children don’t do extra-curriculars, you have ‘low standards’. If only well off people were encouraged to have kids, because you’re neglectful if you can’t afford banjo lessons, what then?

25k tiny savings!? How out of touch are you 😂😂

39% of people have 1k or less.

another daily reminder of how delulu some mumsnetters are..

Is the discounted rent from the family member specifically so you can save a deposit to buy a house? Has there been any discussion of how long this is for? If I was expecting to subsidise you for 3 years and you had another child so I was out of pocket for 10 years/indefinitely I might be pisssed off.

They are irresponsible if they rely on the state to provide for them or their children go short of basics.

Surely it depends where the OP lives, if they want a house to buy in London, they are in a terrible position, if it's in one of the cheapest areas of the UK, they might be fine.

I think this only applies if the landlord was claiming back expenses. Otherwise, there’s no issue.

https://www.myersclark.co.uk/business-expense-when-charging-reduced-rent/

£4k a month after tax with only 2k of credit card debt? Without a mortgage I wouldn't have another child just yet but you should be able to afford some kind of property.

My questions would be around long term housing.

How long is the relative willing to offer a discounted rent? If they are doing this to help you save, they might feel used if you actually use the discount to afford another baby… which will make your housing needs (whether rented or bought) even more expensive in the future.

What if something happened to the relative?

I would say this is a baby or house decision.

Have a baby and your finances will take a massive hit, while your future housing needs become more expensive and unreachable.
v
Stick with your 2 kids and keep your income and earning potential, use the advantage to buy a home.

How do you balance the quality of life for your 2 kids v your desire for a 3rd baby?

Its not about education - it's about lifestyle choices. Plenty of my friends are poor, have kids and are very happy. People on this thread would call them "irresponsible" etc.

They are educated enough to know that, thank you.
But this is beside the point really. OP already has 2 children. It's about finances.

They don't have an average income. This is a fact not a criticism.
They are both on the minimum wage of around £25Kpa .

The average (median) salary is £37K.

This is true - lots of people are waiting longer but it's not guaranteed.

Nobody is really talking about the cost of waiting to buy a house. Yes it gives you time to save but it also means house prices may go up in that time.

That’s absolute nonsense. There’s no obligation to charge a particular level of rent for a property.

Do you really want to start all over again with a baby with a ten year gap @UpQuick? You’re just starting to get your life back. I’d save like crazy and buy that house if it was me.

I wont say the figures, but our household income is many times yours.
We decided we couldn’t afford a third and live the life we wanted and I’m very glad we did. While they're expensive for nursery/baby stage, it is absolutely nothing to the expense of owning a teenager.

Have you thought what would happen if you lose your (average paying) job, or your partner does? You don’t have a household rainy day fund, which is irresponsible when you have kids. And £2K debt. You would be crazy to bring a third child into the world.

Perfect finances is not what this is about. It's about providing the basics.
I didn't say they should wait . I said they don't appear to be in a position at all to buy.

And, FWIW, many of the my social circle are having their 1st child at 35 because of the cost of housing.