Asking a child if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend

81 replies

CoffeeBreak8 · 23/06/2025 23:45

My FIL asks my children (albeit in a jokey/playful way) if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend at school. I have 2 sons and 1 daughter, all aged between 6 & 9. I can see it makes them feel awkward and leads to them teasing each other. I just think it’s really weird and have replied saying “no they don’t, they just have friends” but he asks every time. Am I being unreasonable finding this question inappropriate?

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CoffeeBreak8 · 24/06/2025 00:02

Maybe I just tease him back and say to my kids “don’t worry, grandad is old and asks old fashioned questions… of course you don’t have boyfriends and girlfriends, ignore him!.”

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CoffeeBreak8 · 23/06/2025 23:55

He’s in his 70s. He’s a lovely grandad and not sleezy. I just find that question so irritating and makes my children uncomfortable. I may need to be firmer and tell him to stop asking that question. I’ve tried to do this in a nice way but feel I need to be more assertive in future.

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Sprookjesbos · 23/06/2025 23:51

I'm with you. I've got kids in the same age bracket. I hate it and I think it embarrasses kids and also discourages or makes them question healthy boy/ girl friendships. So annoying. Usually asked by people of my parents generation.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 23/06/2025 23:51

Why is he sexualising children? Big red flag. No unsupervised visits and I'd be tempted to cut him off completely.

Lavendersong · 23/06/2025 23:51

How old is FIL ?

it’s a very old fashioned question to ask these days to DC in school

and yes it is creepy nowadays

CluelessAboutBiology · 23/06/2025 23:49

YANBU. I’ve heard many people say this over the years I’ve been on your planet and never understood why. It’s not funny, it’s cringey, it’s slightly creepy and confuses the kids.

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