Friend pissed off I didn’t eat all of the dinner she made me

If you are invited for lunch by a friend to be served at 12, would most people have a full English at 9am?

I bet most people wouldn't. A few of the terminally-starving MN posters would, plus bacon roll at 10 or 11 of course but most people in real life?

I'm not the OPs friend, and where did I mention curry...?

But oohhh... let me see. Perhaps OPs friend thought it would be nice to have her friends round for dinner? Perhaps she thought it would be nice to cook a meal for them?
But I stand by OP and her husband both behaving thoughtlessly, by having a burger and chips mid-afternoon, knowing her friend was hosting dinner for them, and had presumably put time, effort and expense into doing so. Not to mention the food waste afterwards.
I mean, yes, perhaps the friend over-catered and over-served, but that doesn't remove OPs thoughtlessness.

I do too. Regardless of where I eat I prefer to choose my portion size and nit be made to feel bad that I'm not eating more.

what exactly was rude?

So rude! No wonder your friend was annoyed.

They’re determined that it must be rude, so they have to act as if the OP gorged herself on burgers half an hour before going to her friends house, then pushed the food around her plate for a bit before throwing it all in the bin.

And?
I eat little and often. On many days I will have two lunches, I get hungry again very quickly but I can’t manage a huge plate of food, no matter how hungry I am.

I can’t abide all this “gosh, how rude” bollocks

The op hadn’t ‘just’ had a bbq, the food wasn’t really filling and she ate most of what was provided by the friend.

Why do people keep misrepresenting what happened to make a point? Infuriating!

if the food hadn't been plated up there needn't have been any waste at all.

Is that what the OP ACTUALLY said?

why? you chose to swelter over cooking curry, nobody made you do it.

By the logic some posters are working on - eat as little as necessary as long ago as necessary to make sure you clear your plate - you’d have to check what the portion size is ahead of time and work back. Where does it stop?

Even if this was feasible, there’s no way I’d be going hungry all day to accommodate a particularly big plate of food. Turn up with an appetite, sure. But I’m not going to deny myself a light meal several hours earlier if I’m hungry at that point.

I'm here but I have just had a free BBQ, I know you've been cooking all day and it's really great, but the BBQ was really filling so I'm sure you'll understand that I can't eat much. Really rude, how would you have felt if you were the cook?

For me if I ate a burger at 2.45pm I'd definitely be ready for dinner at 6.30pm but might not eat it all. If there's a large portion served a lot of people wouldn't be able to eat it all. My OH for example never eats much in one go even if he hasn't eaten for several hours

“Going for an afternoon barbecue” suggests an event based around food and therefore eating a lot of food. But the op has very clearly said this was not the case.

People seem to be hung up on this bbq angle. The food doesn’t automatically increase because it’s served at a barbecue. It’s no different to the op getting peckish at home and having a light meal mid-afternoon. Which for many of us would not affect appetite four hours later.

Total non-issue.

She had 1 burger nearly 4 hours before dinner

Absolutely this. The friend sounds controlling. The only way it’s an issue is if the OP turned up and declined to eat anything at all because she’d already eaten say an hour before. Absolutely cannot wrap my head around anyone being upset that someone didn’t clear their plate entirely.

YABU You have wasted their time preparing and the money they spent on that food.

I have no idea of their finances but I would be annoyed at food waste.

Had you not had food at the BBQ it is more likely that you would not have wasted their food.

You knew they were cooking for you. You still made that choice.

yes because they went for an afternoon bbq before the dinner thats why

What a load of shite.

Of course it’s not rude. Surely the most important thing is having a nice evening with your friends and not if you left a bit of dinner. My god there are some uptight people on here!

You knew they were cooking for you ...yes you were rude

You’re judging a different story. OP did eat dinner so it’s a total non event.

If she’d swanned in, burped loudly and said, “none for me thanks I’ve just come from a burger eating contest” with her gold medal swinging round her neck, then yeah… you’d have a point.

Woman eats burger for lunch and then most of a plate of curry for dinner? This is not a problem.

what makes sense is that it's rude to accept a diner invitation, and then decide to have a late lunch meaning you are too full to eat at diner. When you expect the diner to be even earlier than normal, when you know you'll be even less hungry, it's even more inconsiderate.

As it is rude to plate people's food.

Both rude. It's not that complicated is it.

I’d chat to them about their day and did they enjoy the BBQ, how have they been, so good to see you guys again… etc. etc.

Makes no sense. I eat a normal sized dinner and I don’t like feeling full before bed. If I ate at 8 and went to bed at 10 or 11, I’d still feel it on my stomach. That’s just how I’d feel. Other people are different. OP ate at 3, expecting to eat again at 7. That’s fine, she knows her own stomach and plenty of people are hungry 4 hours after eating. And she ate plenty of the food her friend gave her.

She’s done nothing wrong but people are losing their minds at how rude she’s been and then others getting in a state that anyone would serve dinner as “early” as 7.

All of it is a total non-event and the OP’s friend is precious and pathetic to be bothered by another human being using their own judgment and eating to their own appetite, then still enjoying friend’s dinner anyway. Literally nothing happened other than: human beings eat food they want to eat. What a news flash.