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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It’s just theft isn’t it?

111 replies

HiRen · 23/06/2025 17:34

Am back in the UK for my annual summer break. Just back from the supermarket. Stood behind a pretty old (going to guess at least 80yo) woman who was weighing fennel in the veggies aisle, to get a barcoded sticker that she could self-scan. She did one sticker, then a second, then a third. I moved over to the right a step, intending to lean over to offer help (I’m crap with tech, reasonable assumption she might be too). Immediately clocked she was holding the fennel up a bit, ie semi-lifting it off the scales. Then I watched her select “potatoes” on her fourth attempt. Saw her do it again on her fifth attempt - she’d lifted the fennel higher.

Basically, she was deciding what she wanted to pay for the fennel. She left four stickers behind, all decreasing in price, all for potatoes.

I’m normally all for being empathetic towards people on a budget, especially a fixed budget like an pension, and I know about the col crisis. But this was fennel, in Waitrose. She was LOADED with gold jewelry and had a small LV crossbody bag. She can afford 98p (the fifth sticker price) for a bulb of fennel. It made me half want to tell someone on my way out to double check her shopping scan.

No AIBU I suppose. I’m just properly cross. This isn’t the 80s anymore. Things cost more than they used to. Fennel shouldn’t be expensive - but it is. That’s how it is for everyone, and for more essential stuff than bloody vegetables. They don’t steal. She was blatantly stealing, and it was the repeated effort, and the sneakiness and slyness in the way she did it that made me so cross.

OP posts:
Lostcat · 23/06/2025 18:25

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:19

Oh fgs, I was hardly going to hunt her down and drag her to the police station! And it is my mum’s supermarket. I was with my mum. She actually is on a budget. It IS my business. I also have the right to vote here, and I do. It’s 100% my business.

As for “can’t be arsed”, do you think Waitrose executives or partners (whatever they call themselves) are idly drinking tea and eating biscuits instead of working? You think they haven’t priced theft and spoilage and loss into their prices?

Does your mum own Waitrose? Otherwise it’s not her supermarket- not her profit margin.

By “can’t be arsed” I mean these are companies who are out to maximise profits. They will be well aware of the scale of this sort of thing based on stock etc. They are perfectly well able to equip their shops with staff to monitor this sort of thing, but they chose not to in order to maximise their profits. So , yeh, if they are not worried, no need for you to do their work for free eh? Just honestly mind your own and get on with your day. And If your mum doesn’t like the prices she really doesn’t need to shop in Waitrose.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:25

Here you get a handheld scanner that you take around the store with you. There are scales in the veggie aisle. At the end up put your scanner up to a machine thing and it charges you then.

OP posts:
Aavalon57 · 23/06/2025 18:24

I agree with you, OP! I’d be fuming. Giving her the side-eye. I’d have probably said something as well. “Do you need some help?”, “Machine not working?” “I’ll get a member of staff.”

dovetail22uk · 23/06/2025 18:24

HiRen · 23/06/2025 17:34

Am back in the UK for my annual summer break. Just back from the supermarket. Stood behind a pretty old (going to guess at least 80yo) woman who was weighing fennel in the veggies aisle, to get a barcoded sticker that she could self-scan. She did one sticker, then a second, then a third. I moved over to the right a step, intending to lean over to offer help (I’m crap with tech, reasonable assumption she might be too). Immediately clocked she was holding the fennel up a bit, ie semi-lifting it off the scales. Then I watched her select “potatoes” on her fourth attempt. Saw her do it again on her fifth attempt - she’d lifted the fennel higher.

Basically, she was deciding what she wanted to pay for the fennel. She left four stickers behind, all decreasing in price, all for potatoes.

I’m normally all for being empathetic towards people on a budget, especially a fixed budget like an pension, and I know about the col crisis. But this was fennel, in Waitrose. She was LOADED with gold jewelry and had a small LV crossbody bag. She can afford 98p (the fifth sticker price) for a bulb of fennel. It made me half want to tell someone on my way out to double check her shopping scan.

No AIBU I suppose. I’m just properly cross. This isn’t the 80s anymore. Things cost more than they used to. Fennel shouldn’t be expensive - but it is. That’s how it is for everyone, and for more essential stuff than bloody vegetables. They don’t steal. She was blatantly stealing, and it was the repeated effort, and the sneakiness and slyness in the way she did it that made me so cross.

Supermarkets just keep putting the prices up if people shoplift or not. You should try it.

WhereAreMyKids · 23/06/2025 18:22

I thought the self-service checkouts had scales in both the bagging area and scanning area so surely would have come up as an error?

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:21

No, I don’t live in Italy. Why, do I sound like someone you know who does?!

OP posts:
Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:19

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:16

It is pointless, and I should move on. I’ve thought about why it’s bothering me so much; at home I probably wouldn’t even clock this let alone have the time or energy to come to MN about this. I think it’s just all the things I feel when I come home. It’s just so sad to see all the things that have changed for the worse. Councils not picking up litter or cutting grass/trimming hedges anymore; people driving like rude maniacs with no manners; pushing and shoving to get on a bus; no politeness or civility; everything costs so much and for such poor quality. Maybe I’m going to the wrong places! But I lived here for decades before I left and it wasn’t like this. I just miss how there used to be some “fat” in people’s ordinary lives here, space for extras. Now that seems to be reserved for a minority - and this woman ostensibly falls into that minority so why was she stealing??

You don't live in Italy do you?

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:19

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 18:12

Errr vigilantism sounds like exactly what you are suggesting.

Like I said if the supermarkets are bothered, perhaps they can pay for staff to serve at tills or monitor self service. But they can’t be arsed can they? Presumably because this kind of thing ends up costing them less.

It’s not your business, not your life, not your supermarket. Mind. Your. Own.

Oh fgs, I was hardly going to hunt her down and drag her to the police station! And it is my mum’s supermarket. I was with my mum. She actually is on a budget. It IS my business. I also have the right to vote here, and I do. It’s 100% my business.

As for “can’t be arsed”, do you think Waitrose executives or partners (whatever they call themselves) are idly drinking tea and eating biscuits instead of working? You think they haven’t priced theft and spoilage and loss into their prices?

OP posts:
HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:16

AutumnLeaves91 · 23/06/2025 18:10

I mean, seems a bit pointless (and weird) for you to be so hung up on this in my opinion. Move on for your own sake.

It is pointless, and I should move on. I’ve thought about why it’s bothering me so much; at home I probably wouldn’t even clock this let alone have the time or energy to come to MN about this. I think it’s just all the things I feel when I come home. It’s just so sad to see all the things that have changed for the worse. Councils not picking up litter or cutting grass/trimming hedges anymore; people driving like rude maniacs with no manners; pushing and shoving to get on a bus; no politeness or civility; everything costs so much and for such poor quality. Maybe I’m going to the wrong places! But I lived here for decades before I left and it wasn’t like this. I just miss how there used to be some “fat” in people’s ordinary lives here, space for extras. Now that seems to be reserved for a minority - and this woman ostensibly falls into that minority so why was she stealing??

OP posts:
myheadsjustmush · 23/06/2025 18:15

The OP was just giving context with her description.

It doesn't matter if the person in question was 80 and dripping with real gold or fake gold, or a 20 year old in designer trainers.

Thieves are thieves.

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 18:12

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:05

I don’t understand this response. She’s stealing, from somewhere other people shop. Of course it’s the business of other shoppers.

Society is organized here based on laws and the rule of law. If everybody minded their own business, there would be no juries in courts of law. Just what are you suggesting? That people be left to commit crimes? I’m not suggesting vigilantism.

Errr vigilantism sounds like exactly what you are suggesting.

Like I said if the supermarkets are bothered, perhaps they can pay for staff to serve at tills or monitor self service. But they can’t be arsed can they? Presumably because this kind of thing ends up costing them less.

It’s not your business, not your life, not your supermarket. Mind. Your. Own.

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:11

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:09

No, not only. And even if it were “only” why should 80yo women with crossbody LV bags be spared? That’s literally what she was (obvs don’t know exact age but thereabouts): that’s the bag she had, she jangled her bracelets and had two necklaces on, it was a Waitrose in a London suburb where every other car is a Range Rover or Mercedes. And she wouldn’t pay 98p for a bulb of fennel!

They could all have been fake. Her age is irrelevant.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:10

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:08

Why was her age relevant?

It’s no more relevant than any of the other details. I mentioned it because (1) I thought she was struggling with the tech - my mum isn’t far off 80 and she struggles (2) I told myself maybe she’s on a fixed pension.

OP posts:
AutumnLeaves91 · 23/06/2025 18:10

I mean, seems a bit pointless (and weird) for you to be so hung up on this in my opinion. Move on for your own sake.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:09

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:05

Yes, but only if they are an 80 year old woman, with a cross body LV bag and of course it just had to Waitrose.🙄

No, not only. And even if it were “only” why should 80yo women with crossbody LV bags be spared? That’s literally what she was (obvs don’t know exact age but thereabouts): that’s the bag she had, she jangled her bracelets and had two necklaces on, it was a Waitrose in a London suburb where every other car is a Range Rover or Mercedes. And she wouldn’t pay 98p for a bulb of fennel!

OP posts:
GaryAvisFanClub · 23/06/2025 18:09

"I only take stuff from the big stores, because they can afford it - I never target the smaller shops"

They can afford it because they pass it onto us.

You're completely right, OP. I don't tend to feel cross about this stuff because life's too short but it is theft.

Gnarab24 · 23/06/2025 18:08

Mumsnet is hilarious.
shoplifting? Ignore it
bad teeth? You should resign from your job right now because no one will take you seriously.

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:08

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:05

I don’t understand this response. She’s stealing, from somewhere other people shop. Of course it’s the business of other shoppers.

Society is organized here based on laws and the rule of law. If everybody minded their own business, there would be no juries in courts of law. Just what are you suggesting? That people be left to commit crimes? I’m not suggesting vigilantism.

Why was her age relevant?

myheadsjustmush · 23/06/2025 18:06

I'm with you OP.

And it does affect everyone (well, those honest people who actually pay for their goods). The costs are passed on one way or another.

I've heard shoplifters justify their actions by saying, "I only take stuff from the big stores, because they can afford it - I never target the smaller shops" 🙄

It's theft, pure and simple. 😡

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:05

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

I don’t understand this response. She’s stealing, from somewhere other people shop. Of course it’s the business of other shoppers.

Society is organized here based on laws and the rule of law. If everybody minded their own business, there would be no juries in courts of law. Just what are you suggesting? That people be left to commit crimes? I’m not suggesting vigilantism.

OP posts:
Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:05

LittlleMy · 23/06/2025 17:52

Yes let’s everyone just mind their own business because we don’t care if anti social shoppers go unchallenged resulting in constantly increased prices for the law abiding 👍

Yes, but only if they are an 80 year old woman, with a cross body LV bag and of course it just had to Waitrose.🙄

PandoraSocks · 23/06/2025 18:00

Blimey, that's pretty inventive.

GreenCandleWax · 23/06/2025 18:00

FutureCatMum · 23/06/2025 17:36

This has nothing to do with you. Move on with your life.

It has plenty to do with OP as she is a Waitrose customer who will eventually be paying more for groceries because of people like this. And it should be to do with all of us if we see someone acting dishonestly.

ThatSchoolOfficeLady · 23/06/2025 17:55

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

Shoplifting isn't a result of new technology. Shoplifting goes waaaay back to the beginning of self service shops.

LittlleMy · 23/06/2025 17:52

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

Yes let’s everyone just mind their own business because we don’t care if anti social shoppers go unchallenged resulting in constantly increased prices for the law abiding 👍