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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It’s just theft isn’t it?

111 replies

HiRen · 23/06/2025 17:34

Am back in the UK for my annual summer break. Just back from the supermarket. Stood behind a pretty old (going to guess at least 80yo) woman who was weighing fennel in the veggies aisle, to get a barcoded sticker that she could self-scan. She did one sticker, then a second, then a third. I moved over to the right a step, intending to lean over to offer help (I’m crap with tech, reasonable assumption she might be too). Immediately clocked she was holding the fennel up a bit, ie semi-lifting it off the scales. Then I watched her select “potatoes” on her fourth attempt. Saw her do it again on her fifth attempt - she’d lifted the fennel higher.

Basically, she was deciding what she wanted to pay for the fennel. She left four stickers behind, all decreasing in price, all for potatoes.

I’m normally all for being empathetic towards people on a budget, especially a fixed budget like an pension, and I know about the col crisis. But this was fennel, in Waitrose. She was LOADED with gold jewelry and had a small LV crossbody bag. She can afford 98p (the fifth sticker price) for a bulb of fennel. It made me half want to tell someone on my way out to double check her shopping scan.

No AIBU I suppose. I’m just properly cross. This isn’t the 80s anymore. Things cost more than they used to. Fennel shouldn’t be expensive - but it is. That’s how it is for everyone, and for more essential stuff than bloody vegetables. They don’t steal. She was blatantly stealing, and it was the repeated effort, and the sneakiness and slyness in the way she did it that made me so cross.

OP posts:
Zebedee999 · 23/06/2025 19:34

FutureCatMum · 23/06/2025 17:36

This has nothing to do with you. Move on with your life.

It's everyones issue as society in general is breaking down. It used to be trust based but no more. Can't even leave eggs and an honesty box outside your house without someone stealing the lot.
Even the police aren't interested anymore. Why condone such behaviour?

KimberleyClark · 23/06/2025 19:20

Tesco have apparently sold more carrots than they’ve ever had in stock,due to people entering more expensive produce as carrots at the self checkout.

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 23/06/2025 19:20

If it bothered you that much,why not report her to CS?

yakkity · 23/06/2025 19:18

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 17:48

Ohh mind your own honestly 🙄.

Maybe they can put cashiers back in supermarkets if the companies are bothered by this - but presumably they can’t be arsed to pay for the staff.

This is a forum for discussion. It surprised the OP so she is discussing. Why do you feel you should police what people talk about. Sheesh. You aren’t that important

PandoraSocks · 23/06/2025 19:16

Whereabouts in London was this @HiRen ?

SuburbanSprawl · 23/06/2025 19:14

I'm with you. It is stealing.

Thing is, no one here is saying it isn't stealing. They're just saying that it's stealing that doesn't matter. Or stealing that's none of your business. Or stealing that the shop is just asking for. Or stealing that anyone might do.

No. It's stealing. It's not the Great Train Robbery. But it is dishonest.

PetiteBlondeDuBoulevardBrune · 23/06/2025 19:03

Why judge her on the way she stole? The weighing scam is not better or worse than ‘forgetting’ to scan or putting an item in your bag, isn’t it?

xanthomelana · 23/06/2025 18:58

dovetail22uk · 23/06/2025 18:28

I definitely think that supermarkets will put up their prices regardless, yes. And that shoplifting has no effect on prices, other than they might use this as some kind of justification. Like how they say it's inflation but inflation is just corporate greed. Try looking at their profits.

It absolutely has an effect on prices. We wouldn’t bother with stocktakes and shrink if it didn’t matter.

purser25 · 23/06/2025 18:52

It is stealing and I bet she would have something to say about a youngster steeling. Years ago I worked in a supermarket in the days of deli counters etc. This lady came to my till and for some reason I looked at one of her brown vegetable bag she had stuffed something more expensive inside then there was bacon put in another brown bag with something like carrots in. I just glared at her and ran up all the goods. Wish I had torn her bag so she had vegetables everywhere. Does anyone remember Lady Isabella Barnett a magistrate who known to be hard on any criminals she was prolific shop lifter. Sadly she took her own life and the poor shopkeeper got a tremendous abuse.

ExitPursuedByABare · 23/06/2025 18:48

The other week I got a trolley from the trolley park and there was a pack of three tins of tuna in it. I went into the store and handed them to an employee. She looked at me in astonishment.

Livpool · 23/06/2025 18:45

Fangisnotacoward · 23/06/2025 18:27

Why don't we all just pay what we feel like for some fennel? No? Because at some point we were taught stealing is wrong.The costs are passed on to the customers.

I'm not going to get judgey if someone shop lifts some basic food essentials, times are hard for lots of people. But I draw the line at someone being able to pick and choose what they fancy paying some some fennel.

Edited

I agree with this - fennel isn’t a necessity. Not like someone stealing a loaf of bread so their children don’t starve

ChopstickNovice · 23/06/2025 18:42

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:16

It is pointless, and I should move on. I’ve thought about why it’s bothering me so much; at home I probably wouldn’t even clock this let alone have the time or energy to come to MN about this. I think it’s just all the things I feel when I come home. It’s just so sad to see all the things that have changed for the worse. Councils not picking up litter or cutting grass/trimming hedges anymore; people driving like rude maniacs with no manners; pushing and shoving to get on a bus; no politeness or civility; everything costs so much and for such poor quality. Maybe I’m going to the wrong places! But I lived here for decades before I left and it wasn’t like this. I just miss how there used to be some “fat” in people’s ordinary lives here, space for extras. Now that seems to be reserved for a minority - and this woman ostensibly falls into that minority so why was she stealing??

I really agree OP. The more the world in general goes downhill the more stuff like this upsets me! Rudeness, selfishness, mini law breaking seems on the rise :(

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 18:39

Greenartywitch · 23/06/2025 18:39

Really?

You are feeling self-righteous because an 80 year old woman is getting a few pennies off a bloody vegetable?

You must have a lot of time in your hands...

right

Greenartywitch · 23/06/2025 18:39

Really?

You are feeling self-righteous because an 80 year old woman is getting a few pennies off a bloody vegetable?

You must have a lot of time in your hands...

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 18:38

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:28

Well. Seems like at least two people think that supermarkets might be the UK equivalent of Big Pharma or Big Tech or Big Oil! Fair game given they seemingly make obscene profits from life’s necessities. Maybe they are 🤔. Are they?

“Profits at Waitrose soared last year, but staff across the supermarket and its sister brand John Lewis have missed out on a bonus once again. For the 52 weeks to 25 January 2025, profit before tax at the John Lewis Partnership tripled from £42m to £126m. Adjusted operating profit at Waitrose was £227m, up £122m.”

Crushed23 · 23/06/2025 18:37

Dangermoo · 23/06/2025 18:08

Why was her age relevant?

I presume because it shows how widespread the problem is. TBH I’d be shocked to see an 80 year-old shoplifting in Waitrose.

I read something on another thread that I wish I could find to quote it fully, but it was something about the breakdown of the social contract. The COL and housing crisis mean people don’t see the point in working hard and/or paying for stuff any more. They feel scammed by the system so have no qualms about cheating and taking shortcuts themselves. I don’t agree with it, but I think it’s an interesting point. (I think it was originally said in relation to ‘quiet quitting’.)

Lostcat · 23/06/2025 18:36

Promo981 · 23/06/2025 18:29

Yes it does. Other consumers have to pay more as a consequence of theft. The shops aren't going to take the hit.

Shops can’t just charge whatever they like for stuff, that’s not how it works. If you don’t like the cost of fennel at Waitrose, go buy some leeks at Ildi- that’s how the market works.

If Waitrose are losing a lot of money due to shoplifting they will pay staff to monitor the self checkout. - sufficient staff to look after your stock is part of the cost when your run a business.

Promo981 · 23/06/2025 18:29

FutureCatMum · 23/06/2025 17:36

This has nothing to do with you. Move on with your life.

Yes it does. Other consumers have to pay more as a consequence of theft. The shops aren't going to take the hit.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:28

Well. Seems like at least two people think that supermarkets might be the UK equivalent of Big Pharma or Big Tech or Big Oil! Fair game given they seemingly make obscene profits from life’s necessities. Maybe they are 🤔. Are they?

OP posts:
dovetail22uk · 23/06/2025 18:28

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:26

!!!

Do you really think this?

I definitely think that supermarkets will put up their prices regardless, yes. And that shoplifting has no effect on prices, other than they might use this as some kind of justification. Like how they say it's inflation but inflation is just corporate greed. Try looking at their profits.

HateLongCovid · 23/06/2025 18:28

For all those saying it’s not anyone’s business. Does this go for other crimes as well. Burgling a house -Not my house not my
business. Someone being attacked. I don’t know them not my business. For crime to thrive, it just takes lots of good people to do NOTHING!

Fangisnotacoward · 23/06/2025 18:27

Why don't we all just pay what we feel like for some fennel? No? Because at some point we were taught stealing is wrong.The costs are passed on to the customers.

I'm not going to get judgey if someone shop lifts some basic food essentials, times are hard for lots of people. But I draw the line at someone being able to pick and choose what they fancy paying some some fennel.

corlan · 23/06/2025 18:27

Of course it's theft but some people are too blinkered, or just too dishonest to see it. I have a friend that happily told me that she buys ordinary eggs at Waitrose (Waitrose seems to attract this sort of thing!) but swaps the eggs in the box for a more expensive type before she scans them. She told me like it was quite a clever thing to do.Didn't seemto have any self awareness that she's a tea leaf.

Velmy · 23/06/2025 18:27

Being cross about fennel is very Waitrose.

HiRen · 23/06/2025 18:26

dovetail22uk · 23/06/2025 18:24

Supermarkets just keep putting the prices up if people shoplift or not. You should try it.

!!!

Do you really think this?

OP posts: