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Original poster

To think they are desperate for a reaction?

104 replies

Mitzuvon · 23/06/2025 15:18

So I was friends with a group of three other women, they were all friends before me and I was good friends with just one of them and then slowly integrated into the group (6ish years ago).

Anyway the person I was good friends (Friend 1) with we’ve just slowly drifted apart. We haven’t spoken this year (I asked to meet up with one (Friend 2?) as I was in her city for work and she made an excuse).

Friend 1 has since got engaged and I only found out because I saw the large engagement party she threw. And the other two friends have gone ott posting about it on social media - countless stories and posting photos (which they don’t usually do). I just text the friend that it was amazing news and congratulations, never questioned why I wasn’t invited.

Anything I’ve posted the other two have looked at immediately (which again they wouldn’t usually do). I know the event isn’t about me, but if they were my friends they would have at least reached out just to see that I was ok, as I know it would hurt them to just not be invited to a big event.

OP posts:
FumbDucker · 25/06/2025 08:07

Yes @beAsensible1 makes an excellent point! If your as snarky irl as you have been on this thread, F2 & 3 may have been expecting a ‘just me and the kids from now on’ kind of post from you perhaps.

beAsensible1 · 25/06/2025 07:36

If they don’t usually watch your stories but they both are, then yes they are probably checking to see if you posted some thing snarky.

as maybe after you congratulated the one getting married they realised they hadn’t invited and have been sent on the snoop.

be gracious, say nothing and smile politely.

Original poster
Mitzuvon · 25/06/2025 07:32

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 23:46

No I didn't say something to try and hurt you. Every word I said was genuine.
And I don't know what you think sarcasm is but it isn't any of your incredible reaction.
I have no idea what your issue is frankly so won't bother engaging further.

Show quote history

Good, bye 👋

OP posts:
RawBloomers · 25/06/2025 00:36

OP, I think you just have to accept that your friendships with the other women are not seen as close by them anymore. There may also be a feeling of greater loyalty to friend 1 than to you because of their longer history together. I understand why you’re hurt, but there’s no point focusing on it.

It sounds like you haven’t really seen any of them month's and you were already given the cold shoulder by friend2 (?not entirely clear from your posts, but that’s what seemed implied?) so this may be something that’s been building for some time from their perspective but you weren’t aware. Bound to feel shitty for you, but little you can do about it. Presumably, since you haven’t seen them in a while and they live in other cities(?again not entirely clear but seems implied?), you have a bunch of other friends you see more of now? I would focus on them and try and just appreciate the good times you had with these other women, but leave them in your past.

DinaofCloud9 · 25/06/2025 00:08

What reaction do you think they are looking for? Do you mean from you specifically?

Monty27 · 25/06/2025 00:02

@Mitzuvon I don't think the group considered you as a member. Only you can work out why, accept it and move on to make new friends.
You could always ask them.

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 23:46

Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 22:19

It’s called sarcasm. You said something to try and hurt me and putting “kindly” doesn’t change that. And how can I put words in your mouth when I quoted what you said 😂.

Maybe they have zero interest in me, maybe they hate me, maybe they did it purely to get a reaction and maybe there a middle ground. Ultimately I’ll never know - even if people do something purely to be horrible they would never freely admit it.

I think it’s bizarre when people state things as facts such as “they have no interest in you”. You are not them and therefore sure you can give an opinion on your interpretation but you can’t state anything about their reaction as a fact.

Show quote history

No I didn't say something to try and hurt you. Every word I said was genuine.
And I don't know what you think sarcasm is but it isn't any of your incredible reaction.
I have no idea what your issue is frankly so won't bother engaging further.

Original poster
Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 22:58

Codlingmoths · 24/06/2025 22:27

Op I don’t think you realise how to someone who’s just read the threat you come across as totally rejecting of any viewpoint that doesn’t align with yours, and really snapping back at perfectly legitimate comments, like the one about the timeline, which makes perfect sense. If you do that in real life then I see why they didn’t reach out.
what do you want here? Your op says friend 2 wasn’t available to meet last time you tried. No one has reached out. I am sorry and it must hurt but it sounds rather like they have all moved on with original friend. These things can be hard to understand but they happen. But if you disagree, rather than have a go at me, reach out to see if anyone wants to meet up/ post something friendly and see if anyone engages. And invest in other friends.

It’s not that. It’s the fact that someone tried to derail it by saying I was lying about timelines - a timeline they made up in their own head.

Friendships aren’t linear, I can go months without speaking to a friend and we just pick up where we left off.

There was no point to posting the thread as you can’t sum up group dynamics and history of 6/7 years in a paragraph. So how can anyone give a proper and unbiased opinion. They just can’t.

And as I said it doesn’t help anything for me to sit there and dwell on it. And I’m never going to ask them why. I’ve said my congratulations, I’ve not started an argument or any drama, there’s no comeback on me for them saying “I’m bitter” - I just have to be happy with my actions.

OP posts:
Codlingmoths · 24/06/2025 22:27

Op I don’t think you realise how to someone who’s just read the threat you come across as totally rejecting of any viewpoint that doesn’t align with yours, and really snapping back at perfectly legitimate comments, like the one about the timeline, which makes perfect sense. If you do that in real life then I see why they didn’t reach out.
what do you want here? Your op says friend 2 wasn’t available to meet last time you tried. No one has reached out. I am sorry and it must hurt but it sounds rather like they have all moved on with original friend. These things can be hard to understand but they happen. But if you disagree, rather than have a go at me, reach out to see if anyone wants to meet up/ post something friendly and see if anyone engages. And invest in other friends.

Original poster
Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 22:19

ByMerryTiger · 24/06/2025 22:16

You are really quite remarkably unpleasant.

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Oh the irony that saying this also makes you quite remarkably unpleasant.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 22:19

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 21:12

I said they clearly have no interest in you. Why put words in my mouth?

And I am being kind as I know what it's like to be dropped by friends.

But now you are mocking me.

Show quote history

It’s called sarcasm. You said something to try and hurt me and putting “kindly” doesn’t change that. And how can I put words in your mouth when I quoted what you said 😂.

Maybe they have zero interest in me, maybe they hate me, maybe they did it purely to get a reaction and maybe there a middle ground. Ultimately I’ll never know - even if people do something purely to be horrible they would never freely admit it.

I think it’s bizarre when people state things as facts such as “they have no interest in you”. You are not them and therefore sure you can give an opinion on your interpretation but you can’t state anything about their reaction as a fact.

OP posts:
ByMerryTiger · 24/06/2025 22:16

Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 22:13

Oh god are you STILL here 😂. You’re obsessed.

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You are really quite remarkably unpleasant.

Original poster
Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 22:13

Frozo · 24/06/2025 21:31

OP is simply very angry that no one agrees with her - and she directed that anger at you. Not your fault at all, and your response wasn’t remotely unkind.

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Oh god are you STILL here 😂. You’re obsessed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 22:12

CaptainFuture · 24/06/2025 21:22

Well that's an extreme interpretation of what @DiscoBob put, which was actually measured and kind! 🤨

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Yes it was suppose to be extreme, it’s called sarcasm.

If you’re going to say something that you know isn’t kind then just say it. There’s no need to say “kindly”

OP posts:
ClaredeBear · 24/06/2025 22:10

just give their pots a few likes and positive reactions and move on. As you say, you’ve drifted apart, so try to be graceful about it even if it stings a bit. X

ByMerryTiger · 24/06/2025 21:40

Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 21:07

😂😂😂😂

Kindly - they fuckjng despise you and would spit at you if they waked by you.

Not one ounce of kindness really was there in what you said. Lord MN loves the feeling of trying to twist the knife.

Sorry but I won’t allow what you said to hurt me, just as I haven’t allowed what they’ve done to hurt me. I’ve done too much work on myself to let something like this get me down or have control over me.

This thread was therapeutic to get it out. But still talking about it days later is giving it far too much room and attention.

Show quote history

Christ, OP. That is not what that poster said at all. They weren’t unkind at all.

Your reactions on this thread - and to these women doing stuff on social media that has nothing to do with you - are not healthy.

Frozo · 24/06/2025 21:31

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 21:29

Thank you too. I'm kind of taken aback by the response! Genuine kindness taken as being an absolute dick?!

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OP is simply very angry that no one agrees with her - and she directed that anger at you. Not your fault at all, and your response wasn’t remotely unkind.

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 21:29

Frozo · 24/06/2025 21:25

OP did the same and popped at me earlier. Unfortunately, I popped back so I got the pile on instead.

You didn’t deserve that response. OP clearly has convinced herself that they’re this close-knit group when they obviously aren’t.

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Thank you too. I'm kind of taken aback by the response! Genuine kindness taken as being an absolute dick?!

Frozo · 24/06/2025 21:25

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 21:23

Thank you. I've no idea where that vitriol came from?! Really quite bizarre.

Show quote history

OP did the same and popped at me earlier. Unfortunately, I popped back so I got the pile on instead.

You didn’t deserve that response. OP clearly has convinced herself that they’re this close-knit group when they obviously aren’t.

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 21:23

CaptainFuture · 24/06/2025 21:22

Well that's an extreme interpretation of what @DiscoBob put, which was actually measured and kind! 🤨

Show quote history

Thank you. I've no idea where that vitriol came from?! Really quite bizarre.

CaptainFuture · 24/06/2025 21:22

Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 21:07

😂😂😂😂

Kindly - they fuckjng despise you and would spit at you if they waked by you.

Not one ounce of kindness really was there in what you said. Lord MN loves the feeling of trying to twist the knife.

Sorry but I won’t allow what you said to hurt me, just as I haven’t allowed what they’ve done to hurt me. I’ve done too much work on myself to let something like this get me down or have control over me.

This thread was therapeutic to get it out. But still talking about it days later is giving it far too much room and attention.

Show quote history

Well that's an extreme interpretation of what @DiscoBob put, which was actually measured and kind! 🤨

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 21:12

Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 21:07

😂😂😂😂

Kindly - they fuckjng despise you and would spit at you if they waked by you.

Not one ounce of kindness really was there in what you said. Lord MN loves the feeling of trying to twist the knife.

Sorry but I won’t allow what you said to hurt me, just as I haven’t allowed what they’ve done to hurt me. I’ve done too much work on myself to let something like this get me down or have control over me.

This thread was therapeutic to get it out. But still talking about it days later is giving it far too much room and attention.

Show quote history

I said they clearly have no interest in you. Why put words in my mouth?

And I am being kind as I know what it's like to be dropped by friends.

But now you are mocking me.

Original poster
Mitzuvon · 24/06/2025 21:07

DiscoBob · 24/06/2025 19:41

Kindly, they clearly have absolutely no interest in you. You seem like you want them to but they don't.

Their lives are their own and it's sad to drift away from friends but it happens every day. You should stop following them or friending them or whatever it is on SM.

Maybe try and concentrate on your other friendships and maybe making new friends. Do you have other close friends and family?

😂😂😂😂

Kindly - they fuckjng despise you and would spit at you if they waked by you.

Not one ounce of kindness really was there in what you said. Lord MN loves the feeling of trying to twist the knife.

Sorry but I won’t allow what you said to hurt me, just as I haven’t allowed what they’ve done to hurt me. I’ve done too much work on myself to let something like this get me down or have control over me.

This thread was therapeutic to get it out. But still talking about it days later is giving it far too much room and attention.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock000 · 24/06/2025 21:06

The others will always pick a side. She was their friend first.
What created the distance between you both?

Cakefolk · 24/06/2025 21:01

@Frozoyou’re hilarious