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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?

510 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

OP posts:
partyboat356 · 23/06/2025 15:45

Yes, it's extremely aggravating and YANBU!

abnerbrownsdressinggown · 23/06/2025 15:44

Anycrispsleft · 23/06/2025 15:29

Tips seem to be a magnet for this sort of fuckery. The one in my hometown has space for 4 cars and it's always queued for miles so sometimes you see people who are passengers in the cars, if they don't have too much stuff, getting out the car and then walking down to the tip. They can then get back in the car and leave, speeding things up for the remaining queuers - crucially, without slowing down the people who are parked in the tip, because it's a big tip and there are several containers for every type of rubbish/recycling. But one of the guys who works there doesn't like it because they're jumping the queue, so he sends them back to wait in their cars. God it irritates fuck out of me every time I go.

Our local tip (sorry, recycling centre) only allows cars - no foot passengers or cyclists. And is appointment only. Which is absolutely ridiculous considering they are also waging a war against using cars.

They also don't let any vans in as they claim vans are commercial use. Which is flipping stupid if you've hired a van to move and want to drop some stuff off at the tip (sorry, recycling centre) as part of the move. So, if you have a van you have to drive to the other side of the borough to use the big tip (sorry, recycling centre). Eejits.

OldMcDonaldHadABigMac · 23/06/2025 15:42

A lot of people are just vacant.

Gepl · 23/06/2025 15:42

DisappearingGirl · 23/06/2025 15:40

And toilets. When you're somewhere with only 3 or 4 women's loos and there is a queue of 20 people. And people amble in, spend an age in there and amble out. Sure, there's times when you need to take longer. But sometimes you can see all 4 loo doors from the queue and all 4 are in there for aaaages. Surely some/most people are just having a wee - so why take ages faffing when there's a massive queue.

The best situations are those where you’re queuing, you hear the person inside flush, and then hear the hand dryer….. and then silence for 5 minutes before they emerge.

RNApolymerase · 23/06/2025 15:41

Ah, faffers. Request to the full weekly shop at petrol station people - please move your car from the pump to one of the other parking spaces if you're going to be ages thankyou.

DisappearingGirl · 23/06/2025 15:40

And toilets. When you're somewhere with only 3 or 4 women's loos and there is a queue of 20 people. And people amble in, spend an age in there and amble out. Sure, there's times when you need to take longer. But sometimes you can see all 4 loo doors from the queue and all 4 are in there for aaaages. Surely some/most people are just having a wee - so why take ages faffing when there's a massive queue.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 23/06/2025 15:38

yakkity · 23/06/2025 15:18

I’m convinced the people who are leaving a parking spot who see you waiting and then fanny about are doing it intentionally. It’s like a petty little control thing

I totally agree. Either being petty or liking the fact they are keeping you waiting.

rubicustellitall · 23/06/2025 15:35

OP I am with you ...sunday drivers are my worst to encounter.. Derek and jean off for a mooch at a stately home or garden centre, pootling along at 20 mph and you know they are only going for coffee to get them out of the house. Get off the fking road...Every sunday, mix it up please folks go on a tuesday, but no tuesday they cut the lawn, couldn't possibly do both...hate hate hate it!

MiddleAgedDread · 23/06/2025 15:35

Gepl · 23/06/2025 15:28

People fanny about it to a shocking degree.

The worst is train travel. If you have a seat reservation, it’s a simple system consisting of a carriage letter and a seat number. Yet people wander up and down the aisle, staring deeply at their ticket like it’s War and Peace, debating with the person their travelling with whether it’s the right seat - it has the right number and this is the right carriage, but is it the right seat?? It’s absolutely painful.

OMG these!! Same on a plane.....you're in row 16 Sandra, it's not likely to that close to the front is it?!? Makes me wonder how most of them managed to book a ticket in the first place.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 23/06/2025 15:35

@comeandhaveteawithme

I think the kids paying thing isn't that bad. They are at least teaching their kids how shopping works.

DinoLil · 23/06/2025 15:34

My local dump is still appointment only from covid.

MiddleAgedDread · 23/06/2025 15:34

I'm guessing it's the same people who walk through a door way / out of a lift / off an escalator and then stop dead! Absolutely no spatial awareness of the world around their self-absorbed little world.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 23/06/2025 15:31

CanIinterestyouinasarcasticcomment · 23/06/2025 15:16

The people at petrol stations that get back in their car, adjust the mirror, fasten their seat belt, start looking for their keys, or have a quick drink, start the car, then slowly pull away, completely ignoring the huge line of people waiting.

Just get in the car and piss off!! Surely your mirror is adjusted and your keys should be in your hand!!

Don't begrudge drivers a quick drink or a quick minute to adjust something that's been irritating them the whole drive.

It's much better than them doing that instead of paying attention to where they're going / their actual driving.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:30

Most of this I agree 100% with

I’m not a faffer and don’t really hold with faffers.

The one thing I don’t agree with is re moving off from a petrol pump - I think people are fine to just make sure the sat nav is on, set their mirrors straight if needed, have a sip of water etc before moving off. Then they’re all ready and safe to drive.

Anycrispsleft · 23/06/2025 15:29

Tips seem to be a magnet for this sort of fuckery. The one in my hometown has space for 4 cars and it's always queued for miles so sometimes you see people who are passengers in the cars, if they don't have too much stuff, getting out the car and then walking down to the tip. They can then get back in the car and leave, speeding things up for the remaining queuers - crucially, without slowing down the people who are parked in the tip, because it's a big tip and there are several containers for every type of rubbish/recycling. But one of the guys who works there doesn't like it because they're jumping the queue, so he sends them back to wait in their cars. God it irritates fuck out of me every time I go.

Gepl · 23/06/2025 15:28

People fanny about it to a shocking degree.

The worst is train travel. If you have a seat reservation, it’s a simple system consisting of a carriage letter and a seat number. Yet people wander up and down the aisle, staring deeply at their ticket like it’s War and Peace, debating with the person their travelling with whether it’s the right seat - it has the right number and this is the right carriage, but is it the right seat?? It’s absolutely painful.

SayDoWhatNow · 23/06/2025 15:25

I think this is partly cultural. When I first met my DH, he would do things like wait in a long queue at a bakery/cafe and then spend ages asking the assistant for recommendations, asking about the baked goods and faff around making up his mind what to get. While steam came out of my ears and I got more and more stressed about holding up the line.

We talked about it a few times and his perspective was basically that he had waited his turn like everyone else and wanted to get the most out of it. And he expected that everyone else would do the same, because that's how things work in his home country. He was quite surprised to think that everyone else was trying to be speedy and cause the least inconvenience possible to total strangers.

Over time, I think we've both mellowed out a bit. I'm less stressed about taking the time I actually need, and he's more aware that he might be trespassing on other people's consideration and faffs less!

Brenda34 · 23/06/2025 15:25

I used to be exactly like you OP. I'm not sure why I've changed but just reading your post reminded me how horrible it felt to be like that. I don't know what changed me but I'm relieved to not be like that any more. It's so stressful!

PandoraSocks · 23/06/2025 15:24

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

They are probably decluttering their houses in anticipation of death. They get criticised for not doing so on MN.

Everything is the fault of pensioners, according to MN.

ThomasShelbysfagend · 23/06/2025 15:23

When people get to the till then it’s an utter surprise to them that they need to get a card out to pay. Then ensues a delve in bags and pockets looking for it.
Then… after paying, faffing and fanying around putting the card back into the purse, back into the bag, zipping the bag up carefully… then packing the shopping…
Dear God!!

Spirallingdownwards · 23/06/2025 15:19

I agree with some of your examples but not others. For example, when else are you going to ask the bus driver your queries but when you get on and get to the front of that queue?

yakkity · 23/06/2025 15:18

I’m convinced the people who are leaving a parking spot who see you waiting and then fanny about are doing it intentionally. It’s like a petty little control thing

CanIinterestyouinasarcasticcomment · 23/06/2025 15:16

The people at petrol stations that get back in their car, adjust the mirror, fasten their seat belt, start looking for their keys, or have a quick drink, start the car, then slowly pull away, completely ignoring the huge line of people waiting.

Just get in the car and piss off!! Surely your mirror is adjusted and your keys should be in your hand!!

squashyhat · 23/06/2025 15:16

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

🙄

StrawberrySquash · 23/06/2025 15:13

The worst is trying to manage family/friends. People get funny if you try and move them along, but please can we get to this attraction before it closes.