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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?

510 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

OP posts:
yakkity · 23/06/2025 16:11

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:30

Most of this I agree 100% with

I’m not a faffer and don’t really hold with faffers.

The one thing I don’t agree with is re moving off from a petrol pump - I think people are fine to just make sure the sat nav is on, set their mirrors straight if needed, have a sip of water etc before moving off. Then they’re all ready and safe to drive.

Why would you need to reset your mirrors? They don’t go rouge whilst you are in the shop

if I have to set my sat nav I budge a bit forward so people can pull in behind me or pull over into the big space lots of petrol stations have. I don’t sit taking up the pump

Shearebel · 23/06/2025 16:08

yakkity · 23/06/2025 15:18

I’m convinced the people who are leaving a parking spot who see you waiting and then fanny about are doing it intentionally. It’s like a petty little control thing

I find people hovering parking spots quite annoying, I think unless someone is indicating, engine on, reverse lights on etc you need to keep moving especially if you’re causing an obstruction. I had an albeit fairly extreme example last week, I was in (admittedly popular and usually full) street parking but loading 2 under 5s into car seats, putting away pushchair and I had a car just sat in the road waiting for me, zero care to the long queue of cars he was blocking. I’m not a faffer but equally manoeuvring the kids takes the time it takes.

I was finally in, engine on - but then my daughter dropped her favourite toy and started bawling so I had to get out again. At this point he did finally drive away in frustration but he’d happily allowed probably 18 cars to get stuck in traffic behind him.

Figcherry · 23/06/2025 16:08

Sunshineismyfavourite · 23/06/2025 16:02

My DH is literally you OP.
He absolutely hates being kept waiting and an unprofessional lack of urgency and awareness.

His (least) favourite is a local shop with a woman behind the till. She is literally Mrs Overall (iykyk) and is the slowest human being on earth.

She will take an item out of the basket and inspect it. Turn it over a few times. Maybe mumble a comment saying she hasn't tried this yet or hasn't seen it before and then scan it and very very very slowly place it in the bag. But then towards the end, she might come across something heavy and will then take out several items from the bag so she can place said heavy item into the bottom of the bag.

Absolutely excruciating.
And of course there is a long old queue forming - she has absolutely no sense of urgency.
I always use the self scan!

Edited

Don’t move to France, lots of elderly customers still pay by chq in the supermarket! At least the supermarket prints the chqs now, they didn’t 5 years ago.

Judiezones · 23/06/2025 16:07

OP have you seen the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry waits to buy ice cream behind a woman who wants to sample all the flavours?
Very much like the situations you're talking about.

Howmanyflags · 23/06/2025 16:06

I think I'd start by looking at why I was so irritated by these things. Wanting to be efficient is one thing, but things annoying you to the point it becomes a detrimental irritation isn't a healthy response to living in a society which unavoidably involves compromise and things not always going as smoothly as you'd like them to. Concentrate on the things you can control, plan around the things you can't, and give a bit of compromise about the rest!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 16:04

Paganpentacle · 23/06/2025 15:57

why would your mirrors need adjusting?
Surely that would have been done when you first get in the car?

I said if they do! Mine generally don’t , but if for example people are swapping driver at the petrol station they might. In that case, best to adjust them first and move of safely.

Plus it’s conceivable that for some people a child has knocked them climbing out of the car - that’s not going happen a lot but it could happen!

Sunshineismyfavourite · 23/06/2025 16:02

My DH is literally you OP.
He absolutely hates being kept waiting and an unprofessional lack of urgency and awareness.

His (least) favourite is a local shop with a woman behind the till. She is literally Mrs Overall (iykyk) and is the slowest human being on earth.

She will take an item out of the basket and inspect it. Turn it over a few times. Maybe mumble a comment saying she hasn't tried this yet or hasn't seen it before and then scan it and very very very slowly place it in the bag. But then towards the end, she might come across something heavy and will then take out several items from the bag so she can place said heavy item into the bottom of the bag.

Absolutely excruciating.
And of course there is a long old queue forming - she has absolutely no sense of urgency.
I always use the self scan!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/06/2025 16:02

YANBU. People who dither and faff anywhere are supremely irritating. When I’m a dictator I shall have them all thrown into rat-infested dungeons for a few days. That’ll larn ‘em!

Spirallingdownwards · 23/06/2025 16:02

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:54

I despair of what on earth some people do in the loos! They can’t all be pushing out a huge constipated shit surely?

If its me I am struggling out of and back into my shaper control underwear! Please bear with me 🤣🤣

NaeRolls · 23/06/2025 16:01

MiddleAgedDread · 23/06/2025 15:34

I'm guessing it's the same people who walk through a door way / out of a lift / off an escalator and then stop dead! Absolutely no spatial awareness of the world around their self-absorbed little world.

Or the people who try to enter the lift/train without waiting for the people inside to get out! It's both a rudeness issue and an inability to understand the laws of physics, maybe!

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 23/06/2025 16:00

'stopped and chatted to one another, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...'
This at petrol pumps, why?! Also the women putting lipstick on, brushing hair etc while still parked at the pump, move!!!!!

rubicustellitall · 23/06/2025 15:59

Every shop. every pub. every everything where you purchase something takes so long it is infuriating. People know they have to pay so be ready, its easy,its not hard except it seems for faffers who make a huge show of either counting out to the penny or can;t unzip the purse I mean really??
Then if in a pair Derek has to consult Jean and her him..you need potatoes does it really matter just get the bloody potatoes, then a faff of getting a bag for life out of another bag for life omg its endless...

RobinEllacotStrike · 23/06/2025 15:57

I understand why you were annoyed.

But YABU - people move to the beat of their own drum, not yours. Best thing is to focus on the things you can control in the world, not on the things you have no control over.

Paganpentacle · 23/06/2025 15:57

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:30

Most of this I agree 100% with

I’m not a faffer and don’t really hold with faffers.

The one thing I don’t agree with is re moving off from a petrol pump - I think people are fine to just make sure the sat nav is on, set their mirrors straight if needed, have a sip of water etc before moving off. Then they’re all ready and safe to drive.

why would your mirrors need adjusting?
Surely that would have been done when you first get in the car?

bombastix · 23/06/2025 15:57

Strong Venn diagram crossover with meanderthals with these types. My brother in law once pointed out that they had the whole day to get through. They just don’t have a lot else to do!

CaptainHammer · 23/06/2025 15:56

This annoys me too. However I get even more annoyed with people not doing their jobs and moving people on. The tip workers were waiting for them to move too, hurry them up a bit!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:56

BunfightBetty · 23/06/2025 15:49

So many people about who should be forcibly fitted with wing mirrors.

I think there are alot of men who genuinely have no idea other people are around them - they seem utterly oblivious to the fact they are standing RIGHT IN THE WAY- or pace back and forth in a busy area.

Lazygardener · 23/06/2025 15:55

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

Ah, today's MN pension bashing post, such a joy. Yes, as we shuffle towards that dark night, nevertheless we can spare a little of our rapidly diminishing time on this earth to experience the exquisite pleasure of annoying other people at the dump.

AmadeustheAlpaca · 23/06/2025 15:54

My pet hate is when standing at a till with a long queue and someone slowly and carefully puts all their large amount of shopping away before paying. Even though there are areas nearby for packing. Then they faff about with paying.
I love self service tills. Everyone who uses them seems to be more efficient and fast, apart from, of course, the people who pretend they have no idea how to use it and get the assistant to put their shopping through for them.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:54

DisappearingGirl · 23/06/2025 15:40

And toilets. When you're somewhere with only 3 or 4 women's loos and there is a queue of 20 people. And people amble in, spend an age in there and amble out. Sure, there's times when you need to take longer. But sometimes you can see all 4 loo doors from the queue and all 4 are in there for aaaages. Surely some/most people are just having a wee - so why take ages faffing when there's a massive queue.

I despair of what on earth some people do in the loos! They can’t all be pushing out a huge constipated shit surely?

OnyourbarksGSG · 23/06/2025 15:54

I call these people Feathery Strokey Fuckwits. I detest dawdling in busy public places. A slow stroll by the canal? Fine. Stopping the make small talk with a line of 7 people waiting pass then just Fuck Off

Devilsmommy · 23/06/2025 15:50

The one that pisses me off the most is the ones in the supermarket who can see I'm pushing a buggy and pulling a trolley behind me. Somehow they seem to think that fuck arsing about in the middle of the aisle at that precise moment is what's needed😡 knowing I can't get past on either side. There's a special place in hell for these kinds of people 👿

BunfightBetty · 23/06/2025 15:49

So many people about who should be forcibly fitted with wing mirrors.

wordywitch · 23/06/2025 15:48

I have form for being a very impatient person when it comes to things like this and sometimes I still get wound up by faffers, but for the most part I have chilled out quite a lot. A few years ago I moved to a road with a level crossing at both ends and no over/underpass for pedestrians. I decided to use the time I spend there waiting for trains to pass to practise my patience as there is nothing that can be done about how long the gate is down (which is sometimes for a full 5-7 minutes before the train comes and the record for waiting there was 18 minutes once) and it mostly worked. I have more patience for things that I have no control over, though it’s still a work in progress given that I screamed the other day after sitting on hold for 50 minutes only to be told by the clueless customer service rep that they had no idea how to help me with my query 😜

hazelowens · 23/06/2025 15:46

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:47

Oh god - petrol station shoppers!

I honestly think they shouldn't sell anything except petrol.

The petrol garage I worked for was petrol/diesel only and you would still get people who had no means of payment so we had to fill in paper work which would take time and it was always at the busiest times.

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