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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?

510 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

OP posts:
Happyholidays78 · 23/06/2025 17:53

I get frustrated by this, have your bloody stuff/wallet/table number ready for goodness sake!

SuburbanSprawl · 23/06/2025 17:53

I don't say I never get frustrated by faffers - I do. And I'm pretty sure I rarely allow myself to faff.

On the other hand, neither do I humph and tut at faffers, because what would be worse than being a hapless faffer would be to become an ohfergodsaker.

"What's she doing now? Bloody hell, she's looking for her loyalty card! I mean, does it really matter? Just move! Oh for God's sake..."

Those people are much more irritating than faffers.

Owt · 23/06/2025 17:53

There was a thread on here a while back, a woman got beeped at the petrol station as she filled up, got back in her car and then sat there sanitising her hands 🙄 people are so oblivious and selfish

KimberleyClark · 23/06/2025 17:51

Brightmoonlight · 23/06/2025 17:45

Once I went to that dismal dump in Cornwall called the Eden Project. The tills are staffed by grannies and grannpas who really enjoy going through every word in every brochure with every kid in the party. "Helped" by doting parent of course. "Did you hear that Cordelia?"
They also try and upsell different memberships. Guilt is one of their strengths.
Did I enjoy the experience NO. Did your grandkids enjoy their day. For the first 30 mins.
Avoid unless it has installed a funfair.

I went to the Eden Project last week and didn’t find it dismal at all. Expensive, but I enjoyed walking around the Rainforest Biome.

TwistedWonder · 23/06/2025 17:51

I’ve just gone back from holiday and the faffing about at airports did my head in! From fannying about at bag drop to getting right to the front at security before realising they’re wearing a metal belt (and taking an age to remove it) to seeming bemused they have to find their passport at the bottom of their bag at passport control or show their boarding pass at the boarding gate before faffing about blocking the disks on the plane while they fanny about with their hand luggage (and still have to be told several times by cabin crew to put it in the overhead locker.

We actually had one who had to be told 4 times by cabin crew to strap her baby onto her lap and she only did after being told we would miss our slot and have to wait another hour if she didn’t.

And that’s without the ones arguing the toss as to why they shouldn’t have their 500ml shampoo confiscated from hand luggage or why it’s unfair to expect them to pay for their full sized suitcase they want to take on as hand luggage

FrivolousKitchenRollUse · 23/06/2025 17:49

Also add people who seem shocked that they have to pay for items. Despite being stood in the queue for 5 minutes they then wait for the cashier to tell them how much it is before they realise they need their purse/wallet to pay and faff about getting it out.

nonamehere · 23/06/2025 17:47

Myblueclematis · 23/06/2025 17:27

Oh this one drives me mad too. I always have my card out ready to pay once I've loaded up the belt but it's the ones paying with their phone that make me grind my teeth, it's never ready to pay, they faff about with it, then it doesn't work for a couple of attempts, so they then talk to the cashier while they try to decide why it's not working, meanwhile my ice cream is beginning to defrost ... 🙄

This is a genuine question...so if you get your card out as soon as you've finished loading, where do you then put it to free up your hands to load the shopping after it's scanned? I'm very quick at finding my card in my bag after scanning, but according to previous posters, waiting until then is too slow.

gsiftpoffu · 23/06/2025 17:46

I've just got in from work and filled the car up with petrol on the way home. I waited nearly 15 minutes for the two faffers using the two pumps to stop fucking faffing and leave. I have no idea what the man was doing but he put the nozzle in the car, then went and got the plastic gloves on, then he came back pressed the nozzle to start pumping, stopped, went and looked at something on the dashboard, came back, fannied some more with the pump, then left it pumping (or maybe not as he later gesticulated that the pump wasn't working), then got the water and squeezy mop thing and washed the windscreen, fannied with the pump again, it seemed to now be pumping. Meanwhile I saw that the woman at the other pump was finished faffing, or so I thought. She got in her car and faffed around for another 3 minutes before finally driving off. I'd finished filling the car up by the time the bloke eventually drove off.

I don't get the whole faffing thing. How can it be that hard to fill the car with fuel and leave. They were pay-at-the-pump pumps too, so not even like they then had to go into the shop and wait in a queue.

A lot of people seem to have no awareness of what is going on around them and I think a lot of people don't give a shit either if others have to wait and there's a massive queue.

Brightmoonlight · 23/06/2025 17:45

Once I went to that dismal dump in Cornwall called the Eden Project. The tills are staffed by grannies and grannpas who really enjoy going through every word in every brochure with every kid in the party. "Helped" by doting parent of course. "Did you hear that Cordelia?"
They also try and upsell different memberships. Guilt is one of their strengths.
Did I enjoy the experience NO. Did your grandkids enjoy their day. For the first 30 mins.
Avoid unless it has installed a funfair.

Notaripoff · 23/06/2025 17:44

My DS and I still laugh about the time shortly after covid, when everyone was still doing click and collect orders at the supermarket, that we watched a man painstakingly inspect every.single.item in his large order before oh so carefully placing it in the bag. It was like he'd never seen a tin of beans before. All the time the queue of cars behind him was getting longer and longer. He was completely oblivious. Meanwhile I wanted to roll down the window and yell 'It's only a loaf of bread, Dave, shove it in and move on'.

Topsy44 · 23/06/2025 17:39

Joystir59 · 23/06/2025 17:03

People in public loos! What the fuck do they do when they know (cos I've rattled the handle) people are waiting?

Definitely this! Drives me bonkers!! There should be a time limit to spend in a public loo if there’s a long queue with a sign ‘faffers can wait until queue dies down’.

ruethewhirl · 23/06/2025 17:36

DyslexicPoster · 23/06/2025 17:32

Like the queue for the ladies? What the Geff are people doing in there? Not have a quick pee that's for sure. My friend says she pees, then stands up for a bit then pees again to ensure her bladder is completely empty. I mean, save that for home where you pee 99.99% of your life.

However when I'm using a self service till I faff. I have dyslexia but I presume I'm also dyspraxic. It takes me twice as long at least as using a manned till and I feel zero guilt. If shops want me out faster they need to man a till.

So you feel no guilt about taking longer to do something you find harder, and quite right too. But can you not see that people might also take longer to pee, for various reasons, than you deem sufficient, and shouldn't have to feel guilty about that?

DyslexicPoster · 23/06/2025 17:32

Like the queue for the ladies? What the Geff are people doing in there? Not have a quick pee that's for sure. My friend says she pees, then stands up for a bit then pees again to ensure her bladder is completely empty. I mean, save that for home where you pee 99.99% of your life.

However when I'm using a self service till I faff. I have dyslexia but I presume I'm also dyspraxic. It takes me twice as long at least as using a manned till and I feel zero guilt. If shops want me out faster they need to man a till.

KimberleyClark · 23/06/2025 17:31

Topseyt123 · 23/06/2025 17:22

No. Wheels make things so much easier, especially if you have any mobility issues or hidden injuries.

I have an arm that is held together internally with metal plates. Carrying stuff any distance through places like airports would be a problem for me, but with wheels it is fine.

I do accept the point about mobility issues and disabilities, but my point was more that they should go on the hold,then you wouldn’t have to be carting them around the airport at all. Most of what you need even for a long haul flight can be carried by most in a backpack or shoulder bag. But these days people want to bring stuff for a week’s holiday on board rather than putting it in the hold.

BeesAndCrumpets · 23/06/2025 17:30

RobinEllacotStrike · 23/06/2025 15:57

I understand why you were annoyed.

But YABU - people move to the beat of their own drum, not yours. Best thing is to focus on the things you can control in the world, not on the things you have no control over.

I'm in this corner.

Getting stressed about something you have no control over is bonkers (think - football, the weather, traffic..)

The loo thing is funny. The people who are before you (and in the loo when you are waiting) may've waited for longer, and just neeeed longer? I don't know, but that's what I like to think anyway. And if it takes me 30 seconds longer to make sure my tuck is right at the front, then so be it.

People take their time, because it's their time and most of the time, it's really no time at all.

Myblueclematis · 23/06/2025 17:27

ThomasShelbysfagend · 23/06/2025 15:23

When people get to the till then it’s an utter surprise to them that they need to get a card out to pay. Then ensues a delve in bags and pockets looking for it.
Then… after paying, faffing and fanying around putting the card back into the purse, back into the bag, zipping the bag up carefully… then packing the shopping…
Dear God!!

Oh this one drives me mad too. I always have my card out ready to pay once I've loaded up the belt but it's the ones paying with their phone that make me grind my teeth, it's never ready to pay, they faff about with it, then it doesn't work for a couple of attempts, so they then talk to the cashier while they try to decide why it's not working, meanwhile my ice cream is beginning to defrost ... 🙄

CatBooksWineInThatOrder · 23/06/2025 17:24

ohtowinthelottery · 23/06/2025 14:47

Same at the petrol station. Queue of cars waiting to fill up but they go in to pay, faff about choosing sweets, pay then stroll back to their cars then pratt about putting their cards back into their purse/wallet, check their phones, look in their vanity mirrors before finally getting around to putting their seat belts on, starting the engine and moving off the pumps.

Sort your sh*t out elsewhere not at the petrol pump.

Petrol station faffers drive me nuts, do they not see the queues? I’m in and out of there like it’s an F1 pit stop.

Tractorcrisis · 23/06/2025 17:23

Oh and people who want the most complicated coffee ever invented while I’m trying to get my DC a quick drink…

Topseyt123 · 23/06/2025 17:22

KimberleyClark · 23/06/2025 16:45

I think the definition of what constitutes hand luggage needs to be tightened up considerably. Anything with wheels shouldn’t be allowed.

No. Wheels make things so much easier, especially if you have any mobility issues or hidden injuries.

I have an arm that is held together internally with metal plates. Carrying stuff any distance through places like airports would be a problem for me, but with wheels it is fine.

Walker1178 · 23/06/2025 17:22

I had to go to the pharmacy the other day, normally there’s a ridiculously long queue but thought I’d hit payday when I arrived and it was just the two already being served ahead of me… but no, turns out they were time wasters too! By the time I got served it was back to the usual stupid queueing out the door.

To go to our local tip now you have to book a slot online. You can arrive anytime within your 30min booking time and whilst it might seem inconvenient it works really well. The last couple of times we’ve been in/out in no time

Fairyliz · 23/06/2025 17:20

Personally I’d like to shoot the fuckers but I’m assuming that’s not allowed?
I bet they still have people faffing around in prison though so it probably wouldn’t help,

Tractorcrisis · 23/06/2025 17:20

Oh I have a huge issue with people standing in doorways. Or taking the whole width of a door space while moving at a snail’s pace. I do think some of it is purposeful - “please notice how important I am, and my priority of this space” - ”the king has arrived and the shopping trolley is my chariot”.

Shenmen · 23/06/2025 17:15

Tiddlywinksrus · 23/06/2025 17:03

Stop being in such a rush, you are taking the enjoyment out of life. Take a chill pill as they say :)

If you think standing in a queue at the supermarket whilst some uselessly slow person who is too with it work out they need to pack quickly is the fun bit of life I feel for you 😁.
The fun starts after the queue.
I work full time, have 4 kids and love partying so I do not have time to watch people adjusting their mirrors.

zigazigaaaing · 23/06/2025 17:12

I used to feel like you, but have learnt to slow down and be more patient. We live in a society where we’re taught every minute counts. Other people selfishness or stupidity used to really wind me up, but then who is that damaging, you’re only making yourself suffer. try to not sweat the small stuff, and next time your in the tip que have a good podcast on or enjoy a daydream, pack a nice coffee, you get my point.

Tiddlywinksrus · 23/06/2025 17:03

Stop being in such a rush, you are taking the enjoyment out of life. Take a chill pill as they say :)

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