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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?

510 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

OP posts:
ItDoesntHaveToBeASnowman · 23/06/2025 21:02

NewBeginnings77 · 23/06/2025 18:51

I suffer with both lichen sclerosus and anal fissure. If I've had a wee i may well be pain and applying cream. If I've had a poo, well to put it quite simply the feeling like I've had barbed wire stuck up my arse means I cant physically move for a few mins as the pain is too intense. HTH.

Lovely. But I suspect the majority are just sitting in there doom scrolling to be honest.

ItDoesntHaveToBeASnowman · 23/06/2025 20:57

Slightly different. But I get the fucking rage with people on public transport who cannot Sit. The Fuck. Down. For Five. Minutes.

I choose my train seat, grab my water and book and headphones, bag goes up on the rack, and I’m good for the two-hour journey.

But there’s always someone who is up and down like a fucking Jack rabbit. Rummaging in their bag. Toilet. Rummaging. Away looking for the trolley. Rummaging again. Banging your chair and bumping your elbow every single time.

SIT THE FUCK DOWN.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 20:48

Lyocell · 23/06/2025 18:31

Not read the thread but has anyone mentioned airports yet?! When you are queuing to go through the security gates at departures - people wait until the very last minute and then suddenly are surprised they have to find their liquids or can’t carry their 1litre gym water bottle, or souvenir Swiss Army knife through 🤯 gives me the fucking rage.

Actually, some people just think that security searches don’t apply to them. Faffing? just idiots more likely

i was on jury duty last year. Bags checked airport style each morning. Clear signs what you can’t bring in..including annoyingly knitting, crochet and sewing needles. Anyone whose done jury service knows how mind numbinly boring it is and all the just waiting around.

but you’re greeted at the security queue with a whopping big poster saying court security had confiscated 1000s of weapons including guns, in last year..can’t remember exact number of thousands ..but a huge number

I cannot get my head around the Idiocy of people trying to get a gun through airport type scanners. What’s going on in their heads….and boy it wastes time.

my court was held up one day for 30 mins as a few members of our jury was stuck in queue, because some idiot in another court had tried to come in with a blade. Really?

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 23/06/2025 20:47

smallglassbottle · 23/06/2025 19:45

They could easily recycle the things at home or save them up until they have a collection of stuff. It's obvious they're doing it because they want a trip out.

Maybe the things are broken beyond repair, so they can't use or reuse them. Maybe the council recycling won't take certain things. Maybe they don't have the space to store thing up til they have a car full to meet your tip rules.

Maybe they do want to just get out of the house and the tip is an excuse. Maybe they are lonely. Make you feel better for judging them for not having a car full of rubbish? Lonely older guy disposing of a couple of things at the tip and you're being rude about them?

Make you feel good?

whistlesandbells · 23/06/2025 20:46

Excellent. I have found my people. I hate dawdlers and faffers! I am also married to one 🫣. Utter rage when witnessing someone ambling along at snail’s pace, vacant expression and fumbling around.
Top crimes… not being able to leave the house promptly while standing round gawping. People who indulge children (opening doors with beepers, paying by tapping) while others have to wait. Not having wallet, keys, etc ready. Refusing to use a map or ask directions. Going out and having no plan other than wandering about.

😤😡

MsTamborineMan · 23/06/2025 20:42

Asking the bus driver for help is not faffing. It's more the stop in a door way and readjust your hat, check if you've got your list in the middle of the aisle type stuff that annoys me.

I also can't stand pushers. Yes it's annoying that Deidre is walking the pace of a snail, but shoving everyone out the way is also creating an issue. I too would like to pass when there's the opportunity.

BunfightBetty · 23/06/2025 20:38

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/06/2025 15:56

I think there are alot of men who genuinely have no idea other people are around them - they seem utterly oblivious to the fact they are standing RIGHT IN THE WAY- or pace back and forth in a busy area.

I know, it’s infuriating.

YellowMoth · 23/06/2025 20:34

God, it must be really stressful being you guys.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 20:34

FOJN · 23/06/2025 19:08

I stop before the queue and put my card in my pocket. After I've paid I put it back in my pocket, move out of the way to let the next person start packing and then put my card back in my purse.

Pockets😯..you’ve got clothes with pockets?

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 20:33

HelenCurlyBrown · 23/06/2025 17:00

I find trips to the refuse centre quite intimidating. You have to show ID and I feel the operatives are waiting to pounce if I use the wrong container.

I was throwing out a bazillion plastic hangers and got apprehended and told they go in scrap metal, not plastic.

Everyone seems to know exactly what they’re doing, except me.

Ask. Although you’re then a faffer!

I went in with house clearance of craft room after friend died. Late in day admittedly so no queue. Lovely bloke went through all the aerosols and bottles and jars to identify water vs solvent based..literally helped me sort through 3 boxes. We had a nice chat about just how old some of those things appeared to be and my deceased friends craft skills. Yep, faffing, but by then I was only car in there.

saunter over (sorry rush, purposefully ) over to the central hut and ask. They’ll be happy to educate you in the dark arts of what goes in which bin.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 20:23

yakkity · 23/06/2025 19:50

Even you surely realise you are not the majority of people

Even you must realise this is just one of many many conditions that mean using public toilets is a slow nightmare for some people. I’ve already posted a list of conditions, and many of these affect women at some point in their lives.

at any time, in a single loo queue, they’ll be multiple women experiencing heavy periods, UTIs, irritable bowel , hemeroids, prolapses or any other number of urinary and bowel or gynae issues. We’re a messy bit of engineering that goes increasingly wrong with age and childbearing. .look up the stats…

as I said a few mins ago..can we lay off the long loo lurkers ? That’s not faffing…it’s genuine medical and physiological reasons ,

OonaStubbs · 23/06/2025 20:21

Some people are so stupid and unfocused, it makes me sick.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 20:16

Heartbreaktuna · 23/06/2025 16:47

I would dearly love to know what the fuck women are doing in toilet cubicles. Get in. Sit down and go. Flush. Then what are they doing after?! I've started to think everyone is wearing underwear that requires a degree to operate because why else would anyone just want to stand in a cubicle.

Really? You can’t figure it out?
the heavy period management
the flooding
the oops moments due to stress or urge incontinence
the prolapses
the hemeroids
the UTIs where the pain is so intense you simply need to piss continuously
the irritable bowel suffers
the constipated

im post menopausal, I’ve had too many of those things. Worse in public loos. If you haven’t ever experienced dealing with any of them in public loos then good for you but don’t bank on getting through life without experiencing your body doing stuff you know is making other people wait. It’s bloody embarrassing.

This thread is light hearted, and your tone is light hearted, . But even light hearted bashing women becuase they don’t dash in and out of loos is a bit off. Bit like bashing people who block beds in hospital cos they Fanny around. Nope. Doesn’t happen.

funnily enough I don’t suppose anyone wants to stand faffing in a cubicle any more than you.

can we lay off the long loo lurkers please. It’s not the same as faffing or fannying about. There’s mostly bloody good medical reasons for it. I’ve been one of them.

Tiredbut · 23/06/2025 20:13

I hate it too but I’m told I’m impatient and unreasonable. I like things done yesterday.

AndrogynousElf · 23/06/2025 20:09

I got stuck in ikea behind a couple once. They were holding hands so took up the whole width of the aisle. They were walking sooooooo slowly. I kept trying to get round but it was one of the bits with no side aisles. How could you be so unaware?

Notaripoff · 23/06/2025 19:57

NotDarkGothicMama · 23/06/2025 19:53

YANBU. I was in a shop once where I had to argue with the shopkeeper before he'd allow me to pay without first passing my debit card to his dog. He couldn't understand why I didn't want to do this Confused Ultimate faffer. It was absolutely bizarre.

😂you win the thread. I am genuinely laughing about this. I'm imagining your face, the dog's face and the shopkeepers face - all different levels of anger and perplexed. I think this is going to make me chuckle for days😂

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 19:55

God, I used to get so stressed by others peoples fucking about , the sheer waste of time. when I needed to do something else with my time
there is a cure
retire
i have lots of time now to simply watch others fuck about and be amused by it. Or observe the simple ineptitude of people with a dispassionate curiosity.

NotDarkGothicMama · 23/06/2025 19:53

YANBU. I was in a shop once where I had to argue with the shopkeeper before he'd allow me to pay without first passing my debit card to his dog. He couldn't understand why I didn't want to do this Confused Ultimate faffer. It was absolutely bizarre.

Limehawkmoth · 23/06/2025 19:51

ClareBlue · 23/06/2025 14:48

Do you not build in 'other people arsing about' time into any task that has to be achieved. It varies from around 10 percent for food to an eye watering 50 percent for any activity at a Post Office. Supermarket car parks 20 percent, bank cash lodgement 15 percent, etc etc
If you do this it makes life easier to navigate.

I actually have managed to walk into post office, do my business immediately and walk out again within 5 mins. Twice. The last two times. At my local PO
second time I went out during a social gathering people’s faces were gobsmacked when I came back so quickly

so it can be done.
in fairness I’m 60 plus so waited a long time
🤣🤣🤣🤣

yakkity · 23/06/2025 19:50

NewBeginnings77 · 23/06/2025 18:51

I suffer with both lichen sclerosus and anal fissure. If I've had a wee i may well be pain and applying cream. If I've had a poo, well to put it quite simply the feeling like I've had barbed wire stuck up my arse means I cant physically move for a few mins as the pain is too intense. HTH.

Even you surely realise you are not the majority of people

BestZebbie · 23/06/2025 19:46

I think the thing that distinguishes the rage that the OP feels from the mild annoyance that is perhaps more typical is: how much of the actions of the person is counted as "faff".

It annoys me when someone doesn't have their money ready to pay or stops at the front of the line for a long chat to a friend which they could move aside to have, because I count that as faff - but I'm not concerned by things like asking the member of staff a question or doing up a seatbelt after buying petrol because they are part of the 'legitimate business' of the situation.

smallglassbottle · 23/06/2025 19:45

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 23/06/2025 16:35

Well if they only have two items that take up no space, they don't deserve to have used the tip do they?! How dare they queue to use a service when you have deemed them unworthy of it's use!?

They could easily recycle the things at home or save them up until they have a collection of stuff. It's obvious they're doing it because they want a trip out.

sillyfrilly · 23/06/2025 19:40

I would have been purple with rage lol but on a serious note why do things like this happen when you’re against time?

Beautifulspringsunshine · 23/06/2025 19:40

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/06/2025 15:07

Presumably at midday on a Monday they are mainly pensioners with all the time in the world. Although you would think they might want to make the most of what's left rather than fannying around at the tip. Or for there to always be 2 queuing for air in the petrol station at 8am.

Wow 😳🤨🙄

limescale · 23/06/2025 19:33

Myblueclematis · 23/06/2025 18:04

I put it down on the till area right in front of me while I pack the stuff into the trolley. Once it's all loaded and they say how much, I pick the card up and put it on the card reader that's when they ask me if I want a receipt. Yes, I do.

Trolley packed so I can move away from the till area and put card and receipt into my purse without holding up the queue behind me.

I've perfected this system, they love me in Aldi as I don't hold up the queue. 😃

There’s no way I’d leave my card or phone there while I was using 2 hands to pack. It’s either in my hand, bag or zipped pocket.

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