To wonder why people fuck about so much?

I have only read the first few pages and am in ecstasy. After 55y, I have finally found my people. I am very impatient and all the situations here drive me insane. I am super-efficient and struggle to live in a world with people who are not.

My own family are dreadful. Too many flaws to mention. But my husband, omg. The waiter comes to take the order and my husband looks with surprise at the thing in his hand called a menu. With no realisation he was meant to look at it and choose some damn food. We then lose our waiter and have to wait hours for the next opportunity.

Sometimes it seems everyone is taking longer to pee. When your desperate to go yourself. No one is going to wet themselves while I try to work out the self serve screen ( well they might as sometimes I have to argue with it as well....)

If we didn’t live on a 24 square mile island you might have a point about them not knowing the area.

I live in an area that is notorious for bad driving - large student population, ie people who have recently learned to drive, lots of very elderly people and poor public transport, ie no choice but to keep driving beyond when it probably isn't ideal, and lots of tourists, ie not used to driving on this side of the road and navigating a complicated road system.
I've been forced to cultivate more patience than I naturally possess, but there is a new phenomenon that is driving me demented. People just...stopping. So if they need to do something or check something or wait for someone or drop someone off or if there isn't a parking space where they want one, they just...stop. It doesn't matter what carnage they're causing, or who they are blocking. Then they are outraged if people beep at them. Someone stopped across our gate the other day. It's on a tiny lane with relatively few safe places to stop, so I don't get stroppy when people do it - as long as they then move. This woman saw me, did an 'oopsy' expression, then carried on farting about, looking for something on the floor, examining said item, having a drink, rummaging in her bag, checking her face in the mirror. I sat for a bit, until it became clear she was not planning to move imminently, then I beeped. She ignored me, and continued farting about. I beeped again. At which point she threw her arms up, started shouting, picked up her bag and hurled it onto the floor, before deciding a bit of sarcastic laughing and head shaking was needed, then finally turned her engine on, replaced her seat belt and pulled out, painfully slowly, while still shaking her head. How long was I supposed to sit there? Minutes? Hours? All day?
My favourite example of this is a narrow, one way street of shops with limited parking spaces on the road or nearby. People will just stop at the end to wait for someone to come out somewhere along the whole length of the road. Even if no one is in/near their car. This backs up the entire surrounding area and blocks access to the main road. It regularly finishes up with about 20 cars with their hands on their horns while one person waves their arms and mouths 'What? What?' in the mirror. Inevitably, they eventually have to give up and go round again.

May I suggest a defence for this sort of situation? Elderly people whose mobility is limited can be very protective of their independence, and understandably don't want to make their mobility worse through lack of exercise. It might well be that the young person had offered to go and pay but Gran or whoever it was had insisted on going herself. My MIL in her 80s uses a walker, and DH and I will help her wherever she wants it, but she rightly wants to do as much as she can for herself.

I dont think it's the walking slow that people are objecting to per se. We all know that some people can't walk fast.
It's the blatent dithering and faffing that's annoying and the complete lack of awareness or consideration.
The OP mentions someone standing by their car having a cigarette, people chatting, a guy sitting on his phone, holding up 20-30 cars!
That's not moving slowly for a medical reason. That's downright selfishness.

It's right in front of me as I pack, as I'm bending over the trolley I'm about six inches from it and it's hidden from anyone seeing it by the edge of the till area.

I had a stroke earlier in the year, I probably don't look like it, just that I'm being 'particujsr' and slow. But it is what it is. I have no feeling in my hands so can't hold a card before I get to a till because I'll drop it, but can't feel I've dropped it. So I'll lose it. I can no longer walk away from the till with various bits & bobs loose as I'll drop them.

trust me, it's been far more life changing for me, than you waiting an extra minute.

Ours too, it was a PITA at first until
people got used to it, now it's brilliant, so much better than queuing.

Guess that's why we now have to book an appointment at our local tip. It's obviously because of all these painfully slow people!

Once? It must have been the only time you ever went to Ikea! The whole IKEA EXPERIENCE™ is built around getting stuck from the moment you enter the car park (there's only one empty space, cleverly concealed behind an obstacle course of small children that have broken free while their parents wrestle flat packs onto roof racks, dazed pensioners becalmed in the transitional doldrums between manoeuvring in and out of an obstructed space, infuriated fellow car park entrants suddenly reversing towards you at speed having been trapped in there for god knows how long, now desperate to leave at any cost, and an absurdly large hoarding emblazoned with a fucking awful lifestyle pun in brightly clashing colours).

You were brave (or foolish) to contemplate taking a side aisle. Everyone knows the side aisles lead unwary shoppers to extra-dimensional Ikea space, never rejoining any main aisles at all, where you must endlessly visit the same room set but always leave it through a corridor you haven't seen before. The couple were very wisely holding hands so as not to lose each other - and walking slowly in case The Floor Arrows suddenly changed direction, a phenomenon nobody's seen taking place but many have experienced to great personal cost.

I can't describe the insufferable hell of checking out with numerous large, heavy objects you risked your neck to haul off the shelving and balanced on an unwieldy trolley with one stuck wheel that makes it veer off in all directions, trying to find your Zen while you queue with homicidally enraged fellow shoppers, only for the cashier to casually inform you the bar code won't scan.

Ikea's not a good place for faffers. Positively dangerous, in fact. I can't understand why anyone would put themselves through it by choice, however decisive they believe themselves to be ... me, if they don't sell it online for delivery, I ain't having it!

Omg OP I agree! It’s sooooo annoying. And it seems to be getting worse. People are getting less and less self-aware and more and more selfish.

Any chance you have ADHD?

The list of people who are too slow for your liking is long.

I thought it was just me @comeandhaveteawithme!

One of my pet peeve is people doing things slooooowly, when there’s a queue - just go faster!!

Oh and customers. If you’re ringing a call centre please don’t use speaker phone and have two of you speaking, I promise it only takes one person! I can’t hear when both of you speak over each other

I’ll have agreed a date after 10 mins faffing and then husband chips in that he’s playing golf so we go back to the start of “can we do that day? No MIL is visiting”

The road from my home to the motorway is full of them. Annoyingly this road also goes to Aldi and everywhere else I want to go
it’s 40mph, straight clear road. Yet everyone drives it at 27mph. Why??!!! There’s clear signs all the way but there seems to have been this group agreement I’m not aware of that it’s 30mph

irritates me every time I drive it

90% of the time it's old pensioners talking about medical appointments.

It's the reason I started shopping in Aldi and Lidl to begin with. I love the efficiency of speed scan, give me your money now fuck off. The whole interaction is everything it needs to be and nothing more.

I don't think two year olds will be using credit cards in the future. Let's face it, it's just parents who can't bear to say no to their precious DC and the rest of us are expected to find it absolutely charming.

Nothing brings out the worst in me more than trying to get onto a busy train at rush hour and the first people who get on - instead of doing the OBVIOUS thing and walking straight to the middle of the carriage to sit in the empty seats there - start fucking about in the first seats they come to. Not even just sitting down to at least let people pass, but actively pissing around in the aisle, putting their stupid rucksack on the top shelf, setting up their stupid laptop and massive water flask oblivious to the people still literally standing on the platform unable to get on despite all the empty seats in the middle!

Hard (sometimes impossible) to resist the urge to go "can you do that in two minutes!!!" when the full unpacking while blocking the aisle routine begins.

(On the other hand kids with debit cards etc I find cute)

It is because people are thoughtless and have bugger all situational awareness to the point where they think everywhere in the outside world is an extension of their house. The lack of consequences for being a thoughtless twat encourages the behaviour.

Agree pootlers and prevaricators can be frustrating but people who get visibly/audibly wound up, and make it all more tense, don’t help.

And the rage of having to wait AT ALL seems to be endemic. Last week I got violently tooted at by the dude behind me at a roundabout because I didn’t pull out when HE deemed it was time. I had just got to the front but didn’t take the opening cos the oncoming car that was indicating to come off at the previous exit, into a queue of standing traffic, did in fact keep going. I pre-empted this shocking turn of events by the use of my eyes - he was moving so fast he could only have been continuing, despite not having cancelled his indication.

I suppose the fella behind me would have preferred me not to just wait and see where The Fast and The Furious was actually going, and get smashed all to fuck, rather than make him wait, ooh, three more seconds?

Pre-hyped people, I wish they’d fuck off, I drive all day long and see constant near misses, because no one has a bloody minute. It’s like they believe if you pause to think you’ll die. Appreciate this is a tangent 😜

The famously slow cashier in my local Tesco got moved to scan-as-you shop.
Now every time you get a bag check, she appears and slooooowly scans your shopping while rearranging your packing.
Last time I got a 100 item check 😫😭 I almost lost the will to live.

Merely illustrating that there may well be reasons people take longer, thought that was pretty obvious tbh. Incontinence pads, shape wear as PP said, catheter change, struggling to "go" knowing people are listening, clean up after a period leak. There's loads of reasons people might take longer, perhaps people need to be a tad more tolerant

Aw I just thought of another one- I'm on a roll.

Faffy nursery parents. Hand over your kid please and FUCK. OFF.

It's not like school where you can pretty much just wave them off at the gate or door, you have to wait in a queue at nursery, and hand them over individually to the staff. Some of these parents use this as an opportunity to have a nice long chat about their child's progress instead of booking an appointment or worse, just a general chat with the nursery teacher.
You might be here to claim your 15 free hours and be going home for a nice little break Sharon, but some if us use this as childcare because we actually have somewhere to be.
When I broke my foot and had to rely on taxis to get around I still queued like everyone else but there was no consideration that I had a taxi with a meter running sat right there and their little chat about their latest holiday was costing me money.