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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?

510 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/06/2025 14:40

My local skip is a very busy place. There is often a huge queue of cars and once you are in the queue, you absolutely cannot leave, there is no way of driving out of it or turning around due to the way it's structured. You're going through the skip, and that's that.

Today, I was in the queue of doom and a worker walked along the line of cars and told everyone that they just needed to use the crusher before they could let anyone through and to do that, they needed to wait until the cars already parked up and using the skips, had all left, then they could use the crusher and start letting people in again. It was my lunchbreak so I was in a bit of a rush, but nothing I could do.

But watching the people already using the skip was so irritating. They knew there was a line of approximately 20-30 cars waiting, they knew no one else could enter until every car had gone, but they all sauntered back and forth with their stuff from their boots, they stopped and chatted to one another, one guy had a quick cigarette before getting in his car, another sat in the drivers seat and did something on his phone before slowly putting on his seatbelt and leaving...

I just cannot understand people who are so incredibly slow and insist on doing unnecessary things in busy places where people are clearly waiting to use the thing they are using.

The other day, a waitress bringing our food to out table stopped mid-way and chatted to a customer she knew, while holding our plates of food, letting them get cold - why? talk on the way back if you must!

And the amount of people I see letting their toddlers use their debit cards to pay while smiling indulgently as the kids drops the card or taps it wrong with a queue of people waiting, or who stand at the till transferring money, or ask the bus driver an endless series of questions with a whole busload of people waiting, plus the 50 cars behind the bus....

If you are one of these people who fuck about, why? and are you also irritated by the fucking about or am I just far too angry?

OP posts:
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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 01/07/2025 22:23

@HelloCheekyCat - I first heard the term ‘feathery stroker’ on here - applied to Nigel Slater.

Hallywally · 01/07/2025 21:36

This happens at Fat Club- people chatting, faffing & taking ages while queuing to pay and get weighed. Just bloody pay, get on the scales & bog off 🤣

HelloCheekyCat · 01/07/2025 07:25

OnyourbarksGSG · 23/06/2025 15:54

I call these people Feathery Strokey Fuckwits. I detest dawdling in busy public places. A slow stroll by the canal? Fine. Stopping the make small talk with a line of 7 people waiting pass then just Fuck Off

I know you posted days ago but I have to ask... Are you Marian Keyes, a fan of hers or is this a real term???

ChocolateGanache · 01/07/2025 05:41

ClareBlue · 23/06/2025 14:48

Do you not build in 'other people arsing about' time into any task that has to be achieved. It varies from around 10 percent for food to an eye watering 50 percent for any activity at a Post Office. Supermarket car parks 20 percent, bank cash lodgement 15 percent, etc etc
If you do this it makes life easier to navigate.

Omg the post office gives me the rage! Both staff and customers. Fucking hurry UP!!!

TulipTiptoer · 01/07/2025 05:34

Atina321 · 30/06/2025 17:29

Are you ok? You should probably get your blood pressure checked. You seem very stressed.

Perhaps some mindfulness or meditation might help? Or a nice walk?

Because you write complete twaddle and a LOT of people disagree with you, that means we need meditation or our blood pressure checked?!

I am more concerned with your mindset to be honest than you should be about my blood pressure 😅😂😅

I do love the "are you ok?" desperation replies, they always make me laugh a lot, so thank you!
Classic Mumsnet!

Sophiehoney · 30/06/2025 23:55

OonaStubbs · 30/06/2025 23:00

Petrol pumps should make a siren noise if a car stays too long after the fuel has dispensed and been paid for.

Yes! And spray some sort of (washable) green liquid all over their car so everyone can see their shame.

Sophiehoney · 30/06/2025 23:53

The comments would be like:

Maybe she is diabetic and needed to stop right there and then for her picnic have some patience omg everyone is so impatient.

It's just a quick picnic. Takes two hours at most. Why is your time more important then hers?

Are you OK? Do picnic sized scotch eggs make you really angry?

I can't beleive anyone can be so desperate to park on their own driveway that we would begrudge someone a quick scotch egg on a driveway the world is so rushed and it's so sad, noone ever stops to piss about and smell the roses any more.

Say this prayer, it will make me feel all serene and superior you feel better.

And so on and so forth

OonaStubbs · 30/06/2025 23:00

Petrol pumps should make a siren noise if a car stays too long after the fuel has dispensed and been paid for.

AgingLikeGazpacho · 30/06/2025 22:15

Sophiehoney · 29/06/2025 22:28

Because THEY ARE THE ONES BLOCKING THE PUMP!

I want to use the pump as a pump
The petrol station wants me to use it as a pump.
They have already used the pump but instead of moving on so the next person can also use it, they've decided they'd like to use it for their own private picnic space.
That's not what it's for.
And they can eat a fucking sausage roll anywhere they like. The petrol station is the only place I can get petrol

"Why is my time more precious than theirs" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ SMH. I despair at mumsnet users sometimes.
How about I go and sit in the middle of the pavement in front of someone's deiveways and eat a sausage roll? You can just wait for me to finish before you pull in, because why is your time more precious than mine?
How about I roll out a picnic mat right in a shop doorway, blocking your way from getting your milk? Why shouldn't I be there? Why is you needing the shop more important than my picnic?

Use your brain 🤦‍♀️

I'm enjoying the idea of having a picnic on someone's driveway and them angrily drawing a diagram of it to post on one of the notorious Mumsnet parking threads

Gettingbysomehow · 30/06/2025 22:01

TulipTiptoer · 30/06/2025 16:03

Is this a joke?!

So they've managed to drive from goodness knows where, pull into a garage, fill their car, go inside and pay, buy food, come back to their car, get in, but at that particular moment they might pass out and need to have a meal parked at the pump?

I can't believe what I read on mumsnet sometimes.

Yes exactly.

Gettingbysomehow · 30/06/2025 22:00

Atina321 · 30/06/2025 15:38

I think having lunch while sitting at a busy pump is a bit of an exaggeration. How do you know they aren’t diabetic and need to eat before they drive off or they might pass out and crash the car.

Have a little patience.

Don't be so ridiculous!!! Honestly some people on MN. There is no reason why she cant move the car a few feet to the forecourt out of the way. If she has such uncontrolled diabetes that she is unable to .ove her car a few feet she shouldn't be driving at all.
She's just oblivious to other people basically.

LT1982 · 30/06/2025 21:55

smallglassbottle · 29/06/2025 14:23

Are you a faffer though? 😂

🤣🤣🤣

NotDarkGothicMama · 30/06/2025 20:04

I think this meme resonates with this thread: https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18eiB44HTg/ Link added for credit and impatient people while the image gets approved.

To wonder why people fuck about so much?
Atina321 · 30/06/2025 17:29

TulipTiptoer · 30/06/2025 16:03

Is this a joke?!

So they've managed to drive from goodness knows where, pull into a garage, fill their car, go inside and pay, buy food, come back to their car, get in, but at that particular moment they might pass out and need to have a meal parked at the pump?

I can't believe what I read on mumsnet sometimes.

Are you ok? You should probably get your blood pressure checked. You seem very stressed.

Perhaps some mindfulness or meditation might help? Or a nice walk?

TulipTiptoer · 30/06/2025 16:03

Atina321 · 30/06/2025 15:38

I think having lunch while sitting at a busy pump is a bit of an exaggeration. How do you know they aren’t diabetic and need to eat before they drive off or they might pass out and crash the car.

Have a little patience.

Is this a joke?!

So they've managed to drive from goodness knows where, pull into a garage, fill their car, go inside and pay, buy food, come back to their car, get in, but at that particular moment they might pass out and need to have a meal parked at the pump?

I can't believe what I read on mumsnet sometimes.

AlternativeView · 30/06/2025 15:47

@Sophiehoney agree and I'd give you a laugh emoji but we are not to be trusted with it.

I actually rhino next time call petrol attendant to shift the bastard on

Atina321 · 30/06/2025 15:43

Sophiehoney · 29/06/2025 22:28

Because THEY ARE THE ONES BLOCKING THE PUMP!

I want to use the pump as a pump
The petrol station wants me to use it as a pump.
They have already used the pump but instead of moving on so the next person can also use it, they've decided they'd like to use it for their own private picnic space.
That's not what it's for.
And they can eat a fucking sausage roll anywhere they like. The petrol station is the only place I can get petrol

"Why is my time more precious than theirs" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ SMH. I despair at mumsnet users sometimes.
How about I go and sit in the middle of the pavement in front of someone's deiveways and eat a sausage roll? You can just wait for me to finish before you pull in, because why is your time more precious than mine?
How about I roll out a picnic mat right in a shop doorway, blocking your way from getting your milk? Why shouldn't I be there? Why is you needing the shop more important than my picnic?

Use your brain 🤦‍♀️

Wow, tetchy.

Hit a nerve?

Atina321 · 30/06/2025 15:38

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/06/2025 19:53

A quick sip of water before you set off from the petrol pumps seems fine to me, @Atina321 - but stopping to have your lunch while a queue of people wanting petrol is building up behind you is taking the piss.

I think having lunch while sitting at a busy pump is a bit of an exaggeration. How do you know they aren’t diabetic and need to eat before they drive off or they might pass out and crash the car.

Have a little patience.

limescale · 30/06/2025 12:21

Fordian · 30/06/2025 11:23

I am often surprised at how many people can’t get in a car, seatbelt on, drive away in 20 seconds.

Where I work, we leave at the same time as the last customer but they have to be out the (empty) car park before we can drive out. At least once a week I end up politely tapping in their window, 10, even 20 mins later to ask ‘is everything okay?’ as they sit their tapping on their phone…

Do the phone tappers know someone is waiting to lock the car park?
If I wasn't knowingly holding someone up (for the space, or to lock up), I'd quite happily sit on my phone for a bit at the end of a long day. Maybe a break between that and collecting kids or home to evening busyness.

If they know you are waiting for them then yes, that's very annoying.

Fordian · 30/06/2025 11:23

I am often surprised at how many people can’t get in a car, seatbelt on, drive away in 20 seconds.

Where I work, we leave at the same time as the last customer but they have to be out the (empty) car park before we can drive out. At least once a week I end up politely tapping in their window, 10, even 20 mins later to ask ‘is everything okay?’ as they sit their tapping on their phone…

Falingoth · 30/06/2025 11:13

The reason why all these things are irritating is because it all involves jobs/places none of us particularly like doing and have better things to be doing with our time.
Everyone wants to fill their car up, get through an airport, get the food shopping done quickly so they can get to where they want to go or get home and relax.

It's therefore not unreasonable for people to feel impatient and annoyed by slow people while doing these deeds.

I reserve some consideration for the elderly as it's not often their fault really, however people who are clearly able to move quickly and get on with stuff, and faff, have no excuse at all if there's people waiting behind them. They're just inconsiderate.

nonumbersinthisname · 30/06/2025 00:23

DM was one of life’s faffers, and she was the annoying person up and down on trains and planes blocking the aisle. I learned to seat her on the window seat and say “I’ll get your book/cardigan/purse from your bag overhead when everyone has sat down mum”. Tube journeys were a nightmare because she’d put her Oyster card in one of her numerous pockets in her clothes or bags and then forget which one by the time we got to the exit barrier. I did threaten to take it off her after the entrance and give it back to her at the exit, like you do with kids.

Sadly, she got a lot worse as she got older, and in hindsight her lack of awareness of others was one of the early symptoms of her dementia. After one M&S shopping expedition where she took out half an aisle of people pointing at something with her walking stick, I parked her in the cafe with a coffee and ran round the food hall with her list. I could then consult her with “they don’t have cod in batter in stock mum, do you want haddock in batter or cod in breadcrumbs?”.

as a consequence I am a lot more chilled in supermarkets these days, especially M&S food hall where there is always a similar pairing of harassed middle aged daughter and faffing elderly mother. I’m also working on being patient with faffers who don’t have an obvious reason to be slow, not all disabilities are visible etc.

Where I still have no patience are in busy areas where you get the stoppers (top of the tube escalators/door of a shop/randomly on a busy pavement) or the saunterers zigzagging about while glued to their phone. I have been known to below “MOVE!” In their ear to try and prevent an escalator pile up at rush hour.

RubieChewsDay · 29/06/2025 23:48

You do have to laugh at all the people on this thread moaning about people not having any consideration for other people, when they clearly take so little consideration into why other people may not be doing things completely to their liking.

@MyKingdomForACat Woman in the parking space checking her receipt before she pulls off - not unreasonable at all, maybe she thought something was off with the price or that she'd forgotten something that she wouldn't have time to get later. This is a perfectly normal thing to do, even in a busy car park. The person behind you was probably getting annoyed that you didn't drive on even when it was clear that the space wasn't currently available preventing them from finding a space.

NormasArse · 29/06/2025 22:39

People walking really slowly whilst looking down at their phones- completely unaware of anyone else. I had to push a relative in a wheelchair around an airport last week- it drove me potty!!

Sophiehoney · 29/06/2025 22:28

Atina321 · 29/06/2025 18:48

Why is your time more precious than theirs?

Because THEY ARE THE ONES BLOCKING THE PUMP!

I want to use the pump as a pump
The petrol station wants me to use it as a pump.
They have already used the pump but instead of moving on so the next person can also use it, they've decided they'd like to use it for their own private picnic space.
That's not what it's for.
And they can eat a fucking sausage roll anywhere they like. The petrol station is the only place I can get petrol

"Why is my time more precious than theirs" 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ SMH. I despair at mumsnet users sometimes.
How about I go and sit in the middle of the pavement in front of someone's deiveways and eat a sausage roll? You can just wait for me to finish before you pull in, because why is your time more precious than mine?
How about I roll out a picnic mat right in a shop doorway, blocking your way from getting your milk? Why shouldn't I be there? Why is you needing the shop more important than my picnic?

Use your brain 🤦‍♀️

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