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AIBU?

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Original poster

Birthday party a month after your actual birthday?

32 replies

BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 13:22

If you were away for a milestone birthday, would you hold a party a month after your actual birthday?

Personally I wouldn't bother to hold a party that long after my birthday.

It's a month due to family holidays and availability.

AIBU?

OP posts:
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LlynTegid · 08/07/2025 19:45

A birthday party a month later in some circumstances (illness, an operation, not being the same time say as another's wedding) seems reasonable to me.

Regardless of falling for the nonsense of milestone birthdays.

AffIt · 08/07/2025 19:40

I'm something of a Mumsnet outlier in that I LOVE both birthdays and parties (I even open the door when I'm not expecting somebody).

For my 40th, not only did I have a massive party, I then took a year out to go traveling on a 'grown up gap year' (even though it ended up only being six months, because covid).

So, fuck, yes, life is short, have a party.

CarpetKnees · 08/07/2025 19:35

JMSA · 08/07/2025 15:51

Not for me. It’s not the same so long after.

No, it's not the same. It's MUCH BETTER , if you are having a party, to have it when you think most of the people you want to celebrate with, are available. Hence, for people with August birthdays, holding it in September is much better.
People with Christmas Birthdays - holding it after January payday is better.
People turning 18 in the middle of their A-levels? - holding it after exams have finished is much better.

As a pp said, on receiving an invitation to a party, I think a) do I want to go? b) logistically, can I go? and then I accept (or decline). I don't go trawling through the internet or hunting out old diaries or 'Dates to Remember' books, to check if the host is holding the celebration within some sort of fixed number of days limit that I hadn't previously heard about.

JMSA · 08/07/2025 15:51

Not for me. It’s not the same so long after.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/07/2025 15:49

It’s totally fine!

I’m holding DD’s 16th birthday eight months later and she had constant mocks all year, and wanted a joint 16th/ post exam party.

And you can do a lot more in the summer months.

A party is just a party - people can enjoy it whenever it is.

irregularegular · 08/07/2025 15:47

Why not?

I had my 50th birthday party two months before my birthday. It was a joint party with DH, who had his 60th four months earlier. But even if it hadn't been a joint party, I'd have happily had it a different month if that worked better round other events and the weather!

For a non-milestone birthday I'd probably keep it within a couple of weeks or so ideally, and otherwise just have a non-birthday party instead. But wouldn't judge someone who did differently!

Upyouget · 08/07/2025 15:43

Op have the party
but if your dc suggested and are very keen, let them organise

Turning 60 is worth celebrating especially if 50th was a washout

ApolloandDaphne · 23/06/2025 19:29

My DD has a Christmas birthday and she did her 21st in her uni town at the end of January once they had restarted after the holidays.

CarpetKnees · 23/06/2025 15:21

No, but the Christmas birthday chose a party at the start of Feb for their 40th.
the August birthday always has 'big zero' parties in September when people are back off their holidays.

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 15:06

CarpetKnees · 23/06/2025 14:55

We always do in our family - birthdays at Christmas and birthdays in August mean people aren't able to get to celebrate with you.
I choose to wait until most people will be able to come and have the party then.

Do you mean you celebrate multiple birthdays at one party?

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 23/06/2025 14:55

We always do in our family - birthdays at Christmas and birthdays in August mean people aren't able to get to celebrate with you.
I choose to wait until most people will be able to come and have the party then.

SJM1988 · 23/06/2025 14:28

DH held his 30th 5 months later. We were moving and didn't actually live together due to the moving situation on his actual birthday. We waited until we had move into our house and then had a party in the summer.

His 40th this year we are going away in May (end bank holiday) with friends.

Noone was/is bothered by it being so much afterwards. Its more about celebrating with friends and family than the actual date.

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 14:23

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 23/06/2025 14:08

Whether I want to go to a party is entirely based on whether I think I'll enjoy the party.

The actual reason for the party is entirely unimportant to that calculation.

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Good point!

I've never had a birthday party.
I had a great birthday meal/gathering for my 30th that I organised.

For my 44th birthday my dd organised a surprise lunch, which was really nice.

For my 50th, my well meaning dc organised a pub lunch but it wasn't great to be honest as there was stuff going on in the family.

I don't really get all the fuss etc... 🫣

OP posts:
PurpleThistle7 · 23/06/2025 14:18

I don't actually know all my friend's birthdays anyway so wouldn't necessarily notice if it's not on the actual date. A month plus or minus is nothing.

I also had a covid milestone birthday so had a ceilidh 3.5 years later - everyone came, it was super fun, no regrets (no gifts or anything though but I wouldn't have had gifts if it was on the actual day either!)

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 23/06/2025 14:08

BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 13:51

I just thought people wouldn't bother to come as it will end up being over a month after my actual birthday.

I feel its a bit precious?

Show quote history

Whether I want to go to a party is entirely based on whether I think I'll enjoy the party.

The actual reason for the party is entirely unimportant to that calculation.

Clearinguptheclutter · 23/06/2025 13:59

It’s fine. I hosted my dc’s at the weekend
a month late

Eldermileniummam · 23/06/2025 13:58

It's fine

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 13:56

MumChp · 23/06/2025 13:55

I wouldn't mind. It happens a lot over summer and Christmas because of holidays.

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Personally I've never known it to happen. My dc have suggested the party but I'm not convinced!

OP posts:
MumChp · 23/06/2025 13:55

BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 13:51

I just thought people wouldn't bother to come as it will end up being over a month after my actual birthday.

I feel its a bit precious?

Show quote history

I wouldn't mind. It happens a lot over summer and Christmas because of holidays.

nessiethecat · 23/06/2025 13:53

If they like you they will come and if they don’t it’s better they don’t come!

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 13:51

MumChp · 23/06/2025 13:34

Why not? It's fine.

I just thought people wouldn't bother to come as it will end up being over a month after my actual birthday.

I feel its a bit precious?

OP posts:
GoldDuster · 23/06/2025 13:51

I'm thinking you can throw a party whenever you like for whatever reason and people can either attend with good will or deem it unreasonable and stay away.

doodleschnoodle · 23/06/2025 13:49

A party is a party, who cares? I’m 40 this year and plan to have several weeks of festivities with different friend groups etc. Just a good excuse to get together and have fun!

Original poster
BlondieMuver · 23/06/2025 13:49

DinoLil · 23/06/2025 13:30

I had a milestone birthday party 364 days after the actual milestone!

🥰

OP posts:
honeylulu · 23/06/2025 13:47

Just remembered one of my son's friends has a birthday on 29th December. She always had her main celebration/party around 29th January. Just when you need a bit of cheer!